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Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:01:45 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		In a recent thread, this was posted:

quote:

ORIGINAL: gregslave1981

 i ... would've thought most women would jump at the chance to kick a guy in the balls!


This got me to thinking.  OP has a fantasy, and he assumes that there will be plenty on the other side of the kick who enjoy them complementary fantasy.

I on the other hand find it somewhat surprising that there are those who enjoy the flip side of my fetishes - those who enjoy being spanked, having nipples clamped, being bound.  I can't see myself in those positions, and am grateful that there are those who hunger to have that done to them.

Do you take it for granted that your "play complements" exist, or does it still surprise you?





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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:25:45 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I always took it for granted because those are the men who found me.  Now that I am older though I am surprised when I do meet someone who matches my need.  The difference is before I had no clue I this was unusual.  I like aggressive, up front, people who know what they want and make it happen and when it does not happen they move on until they find someone that responds.  I think the term is giving it your best shot, and in the nilla world that is pretty common.   
Now I am surprised when I meet anyone like that. 
Men ask to kiss, to play, they ask if you will kick them in the balls or if you will beat them.  They ask, they beg, and in the case of dominant men they ask until you say yes, then it is supposed to be a done deal.
I see that and it makes me yawn.  I truly miss the days when people did not fear making advances.
Kyst

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:27:06 AM   
Roguescharm


Posts: 82
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		It doesn't surprise me, but I sometimes wonder why they like it.
I have to say not a lot surprises me about humans and sex though.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:31:15 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I don't take it for granted and i am not so much surpriced...much more extremely relieved

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:44:36 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		It doesn't surprise me, but it also isn't something I take for granted. I understand my own complexities, and realize that it isn't easy to find people who are willing and able to adapt to the level of intensity that I represent -- at the same time, I am pleased as punch when someone comes along who is genuinely interested in exploring or more.

Dame Calla

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:55:11 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In a recent thread, this was posted:

quote:

ORIGINAL: gregslave1981

 i ... would've thought most women would jump at the chance to kick a guy in the balls!


This got me to thinking.  OP has a fantasy, and he assumes that there will be plenty on the other side of the kick who enjoy them complementary fantasy.

I on the other hand find it somewhat surprising that there are those who enjoy the flip side of my fetishes - those who enjoy being spanked, having nipples clamped, being bound.  I can't see myself in those positions, and am grateful that there are those who hunger to have that done to them.

Do you take it for granted that your "play complements" exist, or does it still surprise you?





yes it still surprises me and that's why i always say thank you...well usually say thank you that is... and if what it is that He wants to do fits with what it is that i want doing to me then well PRAISE BE!


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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 9:08:34 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		At first, when I didn't really understand what was going on, yes it surprised me that Carol would want to occupy her role which matches mine. Now, it seems blindingly obvious why she'd want to... the more interesting question is why I would bother with my role.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 9:15:45 AM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		I have an unnatural penis loop. I do not see anyone lining up to leash it. Of course communicating this unique fetish of mine has proved difficult and I am always worried about scaring people away.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 9:59:21 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Do you take it for granted that your "play complements" exist, or does it still surprise you?



No. I suppose the reason is that I'm not a big believer in the: "we're all unique" mantra. In my experience people are very similar when you scratch below the surface.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:01:01 AM   
mdr080480


Posts: 4646
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		I am usually surprised about most of the stuff that interests me might also be of interest to someone else.

That's why I am looking for a connection on a mental level, someone who thinks similarly, and shares many desires, be it either someone filling mine, or me filling some of theirs. But I am often pleasantly surprised that there are people out there that are complementary to me.

However, getting kicked in the balls or kicking someone in the balls is painful to think about and to watch is more so. I am not a pain slut, but hell, for those who like a swift kick in the jewels, congratulations. I will not be attempting that on purpose anytime soon.



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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:29:14 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		Actually I've been more surprised about how I've grown and what I've learned about myself more than anything. Most of the men I'd talked to seriously fit me in one way or another when it came to "play complements" but were incompatable in a few other areas.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:31:00 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Finding a mind that keeps up with mine AND a wit equal to mine AND a friendly nature AND a servant's heart AND a willing and eager exploration of the edges of pain and pleasure? I'm surprised when I find them all in one package. 

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:48:16 AM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		In the end we are all god-dust arranged in complex matrices and patterns (the latin roots for both is mother and father, respectfully).

It is a matter of who fits who the best, and whatever positive experience come out of the fittings.
Each person can open the others mind. Everyone is looking to transcend and include. We need help from others to do so.

I not surprised nor do I take for granted anything in this world. Everything exists for a reason, even if that reason is not readily apparent.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:59:49 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I have found that finding service slaves is like hunting for a needle in a jolly big haystack in the dark with one hand tied behind your back. Finding one who also enjoys needle play and is willing to relocate into a poly family is harder again my a large magnitude. The bright side is that it teaches patience and perseverance if you really want something and will not settle for less.. 

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 11:13:26 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

does it still surprise you?


Ya know, it used to, but over the years spent with these women I've learned a great deal, including understanding them much better and much more naturally. Turns out watching and listening actually helps!

It comes down to being who we are and living according to our natures.


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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 11:13:45 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There are what, even billion people in the world? It seems reasonable to believe that there is someone somewhere that matches our kinks, at the very least. Finding someone that I have a mental connection with is more like a miracle!

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 11:58:12 AM   
TEMPERANCE


Posts: 126
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline 		What annoys me the most is the expectation that i will play with someone because he wants me to....... and for some reason the vast majority of guys i know in real life seem to think im obliged to play with them sinply because i know them.... i soon put them straight on that one though. 

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 8:08:34 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

....Do you take it for granted that your "play complements" exist, or does it still surprise you?
It still surprises. It's like winning at bingo. Only better.

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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 10:53:46 PM   
ChasingOblivion


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline 		It certainly surprised the hell out of me at first. I always had at least a rough idea of the kinds of things I would have like to have done to me sexually, although I knew nothing of the lifestyle and had no frame of reference. After a good half dozen or more "vanilla" boyfriends dumped me, told me I was seriously fucked in the head, and needed professional help for wanting what I wanted, I started to wonder if they might be right.
And then, purely by accident, I met my first Dom and realized there was nothing wrong with me, I'd just been with the wrong type of men.
I'm not surprised any longer, but I am VERY VERY grateful.
Happy happy joy joy


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RE: Does it surprise you? - 6/20/2009 11:38:26 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Do you take it for granted that your "play complements" exist, or does it still surprise you?



Being honest I've never really thought that way. I don't do BDSM checklists, tick boxes on various kinks, all I know is that I'm submissive, I enjoy serving, but like any dominant I get to know I need acceptance and understanding and I appreciate having the freedom and being comfortable with being myself openly and honestly with the other person.

Preconceived notions and fantasies are all well and good, but personally I find that they are trumped by reality all the time.


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