RE: Physical strength and D/s

RE: Physical strength and D/s (Full Version)

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kuriouswitch -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 6:49:55 PM)
Strength isn't very important, when I was looking I wanted a man who could hold my wrists above my head. I was looking more for someone who was a bit taller than I am and who has large hands. I've found those things in Master, he's able to hold my wrists in one hand, and he's very strong which in some ways is safe feeling.

kallisto -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 6:54:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: greenearth21 I prefer, therefore gravitate toward a men who is physically stronger than me. This is me too. [:)] However, as stated ..it's my preference.

gypsygrl -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 7:12:38 PM)
Sir's quite a bit bigger than me and stronger but its probably overkill and doesn't play into our relationship. I don't like the rough stuff and can't take it most of the time. Its kind of a turn off because it seems so unecessary. Dominance is a mental/emotional thing, not a physical thing. But, thats been said before. Lots of times.

DavanKael -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 8:20:41 PM)
I'm with Greenearth, truly. Evolution gave us these great brains and opposable thumbs: fabulous for using tools to defend outselves if need-be. 'Course, I still want a big, strong man! :> Davan (Who also learned how to throw someone twice her size in martial arts class last evening; freakin' fantastic!) Wanting a man of powerful stature doesn't mean a female is a demure little flower necessarily. :>

Lashra -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 9:10:40 PM)
quote: because men are stronger Stronger HOW? Physically? In some cases yes there are men stronger than me, in some cases no they are not stronger than me, in some cases we are on equal footing. I do not think physical strength has a darned thing to do with Dominance or superiority. It just means you can pick up something heavy, which another person may not. In fact if you look closely at size and strength, it could be viewed (not my view) that "bigger and stronger" indicates more of the "slave" role rather than being the leader. After all slaves need to be big and strong so that they can do hard labor and toil longer in the fields, the leader needs to have knowledge, strength of character, honesty and integrity etc. A good leader also needs to be empathic and able to make decisions. The thing is a persons gender has absolutely nothing to do with Dominance or subsmission. People have been beating this dead horse for how many years now? Perhaps one day we will evolve enough that we can get past this idiocy. It reminds me of the question "Who is more intelligent? Caucasians or those of color?" it is the EXACT same bias, still going on today as it has been for far too long. In my relationship I am the Leader, I do not need to choke hold him, wrestle him to the ground or bash him in the head with a club to get him to do what I want him to do. I do it with my Dominant personality and presence. I have a leaders charisma, knowledge and empathy that it takes to lead him. ~Lashra

greenearth21 -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/20/2009 10:22:10 PM)
I dont think most people think "oh how mighty muscular he is...he must be uber dominant". Its just a matter of like/dislike...or preference. To me physical strength has always been something I looked for and found attractive in a man (also...hunter, gatheres...biology etc) that I wanted to be intimate with. Doesn't necessarily mean that they make great dominants or have a dominating personality. Ofcourse being a good leader/dominant goes beyond muscle. For some its just an extra bonus to the package. (I need to sleep)

lobodomslavery -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 1:22:50 AM)
i think it is generally accepted that men are stronger physically than Women. And men who abuse their strength end up damaging Women in far worse ways than any Woman could damage a man. To me a man who uses his strength against a Woman no matter what is a bastard and a coward. Nothing a Woman could do to a man would ever leave him in danger yet a man could murder a Woman, not that most sane men would want to, its just a researched fact kevin

CatdeMedici -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 3:03:05 AM)
I guess I'm a tad odd here, strength for Me doesn't enter into the D/s, but it does enter into the life partner aspect--and I don't think I look for strength as much as I look for endurance. I've seen many who were "momentarily strong", who could pick up some heavy object or by brute force move something immovable--but I have yet to find the man who can surpass or even match My endurance and that is what I have to have---no pooping out after 2 or 3 hours of work.

LaTigresse -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 5:03:45 AM)
Using fast reply. I have to say physical size and/or strength has never even entered my mind when it comes to M/s. The way I look at it, if the dominant party HAS to be bigger and stronger for the s-type to submit, the s-type isn't very damned submissive. To all those s-types that say they NEED their M/D to be bigger/tougher/stronger, what happens if a physically debilitating illness strikes? Does their submission disappear along with the physical strength? I agree with much of what Marc wrote about fitness and personal responsibility/discipline. It is an area that I have been very critical of myself in. In addition to his thoughts about the woman and a horse. I've spent much of my life working with animals that COULD have, if they chose, kill me. Both equine and canine. Some came to me with very dangerous habits and mindsets. Yes, I've been hurt working with them, but every single time I can say it was my fault. I've not much respect for a M/D type that feels they need to be bigger and stronger to master nor an s type that NEEDS their M/D type to be bigger and stronger to submit. Both show flaws within that individual's mastery/submission..........in my eyes. However, I can say that if a person, has a gender ideal that turns them on sexually, I do see that as a different type of preference and one that has a fairly gray distinction.

KnightofMists -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 6:17:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships? As long as they have the strength to lift my cock gently into their mouth... then all is good ;) but seriously.... physical strength is rather irrelevant to me with regards to D/s.. be it male or female. It's what is in the mind and heart that matters.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 7:37:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Nothing a Woman could do to a man would ever leave him in danger yet a man could murder a Woman, not that most sane men would want to, its just a researched fact We clearly differ on our definitions of "researched". To me, research means peer reviewed scientific journals, not 1600's common law and folk tales. Women folk are dangerous. They hide knives everywhere, have razor sharp claws, and I'm pretty sure someone's selling them guns... Not to mention they can play the skirt, the gender equivalent to playing the race card... I know this thread is about physical power, but I think any measure of ability to move mass pales in comparison to cognitive strength and mental discipline. A resolute, determined, stoic, omnipresent critter rings closer to dominance than a boy who can bench 350. I wouldn't wrong anyone for wanting certain strength/size traits in a partner. Humans are very visual. It's why expensive chocolates are so dainty and pretty. Perhaps its natural to be intimidated by larger creatures, and I can see how someone would want an owner who intimidates others. Perhaps it offers an instant rational for submission? Not that one must answer for their orientation, but there must be a reason to feel that way toward someone. Some people command a respect about them, some people... Eh, not so much. If I could not tell myself why I want to submit to a person, I won't. "They're bigger than me" is just one more good reason.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 7:42:06 AM)
i respectfully disagree. Women are definitely more vulnerable. If it came to a straight fight id back the man every time unless the Woman had a knife but fist to fist a man would win every time. Why do you think males are generally the one's responsible for domestic violence, why are hundreds of thousands of Women murdered every year. it s because they have been with abusive partners. i m not abusive myself and would have no time for any man who took out his violence on a Woman. but neither would i ever fear a Woman, i hope a Woman would never fear me either but if it came down to it i would be able to restrain a Woman kevin

daddysprop247 -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 8:22:55 AM)
it is very important to me that a man i have as a mate be significantly larger and stronger than i am. no, i do not feel more submissive to a bigger and stronger man, and no i do not see a bigger and stronger man as more dominant. it's simply about preferences and what makes me feel "right" within a serious relationship. with my Master, because of his size (not huge, but far from skinny) and his strength, not to mention his very physical nature (athletically-inclined, etc.) i feel safe and protected with him. walking through the seediest, most dangerous parts of D.C. i feel no fear in his presence, because i have seen how he is capable of handling himself. i do not worry about the car being broken down and us being stuck on a deserted roadside in the middle of the night, because i have watched him push a stranger's car nearly a quarter of a mile to the nearest service station, and as if it were nothing. i don't worry about being trapped in a burning house, because i know he can toss me over his shoulder and get me out. that sense of physical security feels good, and is very important to me in a mate. it also a good contrast for us...i am smaller and weaker, relatively fragile...he is the opposite. it heightens the feeling of Masculine against feminine.

Missokyst -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 10:01:35 AM)
I like to believe the man beside me is capable of keeping me even when I don't want to be kept. Men who appear puny never get a second glance because no part of me wants to know I could toss him across the room. And as I am just under 5'2" that should not be an easy task. Men have the capability of being stronger whether or not they choose to use it. However, I have found that strength isn't all it is cracked up to be. As a small younger woman I was able to restrain my brother for 20-30- mins, who is a foot taller than I and a trained marine. I was pissed off and when I am mad I am very calm, analytical, and able to weigh the risks of attack. Other times this has come in handy, having escaped situations that involved more than one attacker. Men may be stronger but there are other things beside strength, quick response and the ability to out-think your target are necessary traits. It is like chess only more physical. I still don't look at puny men but that is a personal taste thing. Kyst

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 10:09:16 AM)
I personally like dominating a man physically larger than me. Sure, I have to consider his strength, but I do that when I play with my friend's mastiffs too. (Wanna mastiff! [:(]) But yes, it does rather amuse me to have that amount of physical power leashed and obedient to my command. Of course, I don't mind dominating a man who's built smaller and slighter than I am, either. (grin) It's all good.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 11:21:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse To all those s-types that say they NEED their M/D to be bigger/tougher/stronger, what happens if a physically debilitating illness strikes? Does their submission disappear along with the physical strength? An excellent question if one digests it deep enough. I'm afraid that the truth is many would in fact leave or seek another, though most would never say so openly on a board like this. I suppose the reverse extension of the logic would be a "dominant type" who allows a hot piece of ass to continually subvert his authority while "serving him", for no other reason than the fact she is a hot piece of ass. I don't want to even think about how many so-called Masters are eyeball deep in that. [sm=help.gif]

softness -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 1:00:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships? First and most importantly .... it is not as important as personal and emotional strength. In the spirit of the OP.... I'm a tall girl - 5'10 and a smidge - and I'm big with it ... positively Amazonian. I'm also very strong. I may be the "house femme" but I do a good deal of heavy lifting grins. I would feel uncomfortable and out of place beside someone who was physically smaller and weaker than me. I tend towards people who make me feel fragile in comparison. Sir may not be taller than me ... but He is well muscled swoons and so He makes me feel physically safeguarded, slight and enjoyably "helpless. With regard to play (which is IMHO only a small fraction of a successful D/s relationship)....well it takes a big hammer to beat a big nail - I'm just not going to be compatible with someone physically weak .. that chemistry just isn't there. YMMV... grins ... nuff said. to LaT As I said .. first and most important is personal and emotional strength. I know that if Sir was (God forbid) struck down with something that left Him helpless and weak .. His strength of spirit and sheer magnitude of life force wouldn't shift. That is what commands my loyalty to Him, inspires my respect for Him and causes me everyday to choose again to love Him. I would remain exactly where I am now ... in service to the Man who owns me. I don't submit out of a desire to fuck and get my ass beaten, I serve out of love, respect and loyalty. For those people who find their motivation to serve or submit come from other (equally legitimate sources) they may not be able to answer in the same way.

Missokyst -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 3:05:11 PM)
Like with most relationships, it would depend on the degree of committment. I am still loyal and would do anything for my first dominant and it has been decades. He is now physically weak enough that it would not take me much to disable him. But, I still have the same feelings of respect and honor for him that I always did. But I know him and had time to develop those feelings of loyalty regardless of time or circumstance. With someone I was merely playing with there is less reason to feel anything but basic gratitude and a desire to see them do well, but not in the same capacity as when they were an active partner to me. It is a matter of how committed I felt for them before any disability. I think this is would be the same thing whether one was nilla or bdsm inclined. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse To all those s-types that say they NEED their M/D to be bigger/tougher/stronger, what happens if a physically debilitating illness strikes? Does their submission disappear along with the physical strength?

NuevaVida -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 3:09:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I've not much respect for a M/D type that feels they need to be bigger and stronger to master nor an s type that NEEDS their M/D type to be bigger and stronger to submit. Both show flaws within that individual's mastery/submission..........in my eyes. However, I can say that if a person, has a gender ideal that turns them on sexually, I do see that as a different type of preference and one that has a fairly gray distinction. There is definitely a difference between a preference re: physical attraction and the ability to dominate and submit. I have always contended that what the mind and heart hold are priorities for me, above and beyond physique, and that is what I am submitting to. And while his build has him able to physically overpower me with his eyes closed, should that go away for any reason, my submission does not.

variation30 -> RE: Physical strength and D/s (6/21/2009 4:01:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite In the "Dominant woman" thread over in P&RS, the poster argued that women should be submissive because men are stronger. I've seen some similar stuff over in the Gorean thread. I'm not looking now, but when I was, I did want a man who was strong enough to be able to spot me in my gymnastics practice, playfight/wrestle with, etc., whether he was dominant, submissive, top, or bottom. I'm really strong relative to my size and gender, so I do have to be a bit careful sometimes, but all of the guys I've dated loved that, and didn't feel it made me less feminine. Anyway, there are plenty of men who are far stronger than I am, but who I don't react to on a D/s basis at all. One of my former friends picked me up, sitting in the palm of his hand, straight over my head, and threw me about 10 feet across the swimming pool. Sure, he could "make me" do something, if he were so inclined, but that has nothing to do with consensual D/s. Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships? I'm 5'10-5'11 and weigh 135-145. I've never had a lack of physical strength be a handicap. This could be for two reasons: A) I don't sleep with or form relationships with women who are larger than me (my woman is 5'6 / 125 but will be 118 by the time we're married). B) I find the use of physical force to be wholly superfluous. the core of the type of submission I want in a woman always stems in the mind - a voluntary and conscious acknowledgment of roles. if that's there, a woman will always be as malleable as clay and there is never a need to overpower her.

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