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So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:09:47 AM

justme1980

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Now that I have your attention

Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:10:54 AM

Lockit

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It's just your imagination.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:31:44 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980
Now that I have your attention
Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

Board Warriors looking to count coup and gain discussion board points are obsessed with punishment. That's not the same thing as saying dominants are.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:39:17 AM

OsideGirl

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Well, let's start with we do spanking for fun.

I've been punished exactly once in 9 years. I let my temper get the better of me when Master had forewarned me that he wanted me to hold my tongue.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:40:42 AM

Racquelle

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I was playing with sissy maid some time ago, and she was doing a great job but kept joking about being punished. I finally said "you really haven't fucked up at all. Do you just want a spanking anyway?" She did. I obliged. For some, punishment is really the reward. Ultimately, I don't really want to "punish" anyone who doesn't kind of want to be punished - maybe not at that moment, but in general.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:44:06 AM

SteelofUtah

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I don't spank my girl for punishment I spank andi because I like to and she likes being spanked.

TRUST ME when she fucks up it is not positive for EITHER of us.

Punishment should be something that deters someone from commiting the act that got the infraction. about 99.9% of any punishment I give isn't physical because the Physical is supposed to be fun not Punishment.

As for what you are talking about... Yeah I have notices a bunch of KeyBoard Kowboys and Cyber Samurai who like to Text out eloborate punishments and disciplines, and I know some couple for whom Punishment is Funishment and it is designed to end in a Blistered Bottom I see these all the time, it is the people I see who take them to a whole nother level of seriousness that bother the hell out of me. Those whome believe that Punishment is a REQUIRED PART of BDSM and cannot fathom that discipline (The D in BDSM) does not always mean Physical and for some it doesn't have to mean that at all.

That being said.

I do want to spank you. When do you think you might Visit Southern Utah. Andi said she would like someone else to know what she goes through just so she can have someone to talk to who understands.

Steel

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 11:55:44 AM

Kalista07

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He spanks me because He is a sadist and because He enjoys it. i some times request Him to spank me because i enjoy it, it turns me on, and it centers me.

i've been punished maybe 4 times (if that) each time was with a specific instrument and i knew exactly what i was being punished for....and had been given multiple opportunities to correct my behavior.
Kali

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 12:08:37 PM

CatdeMedici

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No, only the weal twue Doms.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 12:26:59 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980
Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

Don’t get me started………ooops, too late!
In the forums, on-line, there are 22 gazillion threads on punishment;
when to,
how to,
should you,
what’s the ‘best’ kind,
and let’s not forget the guy who answers every question (whether it is related to punishment or not) with a description of making your slave kneel on rice.
Those who focus on it cannot grasp the concept that most submissive folk are willing to work hard to please their dominant.
Those who are quick to punish fail to realize that if punishment is called for the relationship has issues that are not likely to be fixed that way. They see it as the first response rather than a last resort.
Those who want to punish every mistake, it would seem, expect submissive folk to be perfect, rather than human.
Those who seek justification for it sometimes confuse pain play with punishment.
Those who make punishment the center of their dynamic believe submission comes from the external threat, rather than from an internal desire to submit.

One can imagine the cyber hand rubbing in anticipatory glee for a chance to administer punishment.

And, <<going waaay out on a limb here because few people agree with me on this point>> even those who are more pragmatic and are not so single-minded about it but plan it as a built in contingent within the D/s relationship are expecting failure. My response to that is ….well, DUH! I have yet to meet Saint Submissive who will always be perfect!

< Message edited by catize -- 6/21/2009 12:30:32 PM >

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 12:40:23 PM

Racquelle

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But who can resist the singsong of "If you don't fold my laundry perfectly, you're going to get a spankeeeeeeeee." That spark of devilishness that leaps into subby's eyes, and that concern on my part for some minor misstep I would not even normally consider an error...just so I can have that darling pink bottom exposed for me...just so I can redden that tender delicious flesh, lick away the tears, knead the welts in my hand, feel the clammy sweat that covers the trembling body. Yes, please, fuck something up so I have my vehicle to get at you - or do everything just fine and offer your ass to me anyway. We didn't create this dynamic by accident.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 12:42:28 PM

DarkSteven

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1. Punishment involves various things. Spanking may be one of them. Or it might not be.

2. Spankings are administered for various reasons, one of which is simply that a lot of us Doms plain like to spank.

3, If a Dom is making excuses to spank as punishment, by creating spankable offenses, then he or she is playing games. Fine if it's understood as such, not fine otherwise.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 1:00:17 PM

catize

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quote:

But who can resist the singsong of "If you don't fold my laundry perfectly, you're going to get a spankeeeeeeeee."

Playfulness is an entirely different perspective and I have no issues with that!
I read a description of this a number of years ago on another site—it was so cute I have always remembered it. The dominant wrote that there were times when he would come home from work and his submissive wife would be wearing only one of his T-shirts. This meant she was “a bad slutty girl” and he would rip the T-shirt off her body and then ‘punish’ her with a belt. Whenever he had to buy more T-shirts, he was grateful that he owned said “bad slutty girl”!!

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 1:15:49 PM

justme1980

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I thank you all for your input

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 2:02:52 PM

whiteslavebitch

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I have been punished one time in the nearly 4 years that I've known MasterK. It wasn't fun, it wasn't enjoyable and I don't want a repeat. Neither does MasterK.

However, occasionally MasterK will joke with me "You didn't greet me properly" if i couldn't because I was in a public place, and I will jokingly reply that he'll have to punish me next time we're together.

He doesn't need to make up excuses to bring out the floggers, because we both enjoy the activities together.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 3:03:25 PM

olena

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I think that from the volume of how this life is discussed that punishment is talked about in a less then accurate proportion of real life living with dominants. At the same time though I think submissives take discussions of punishments far too personally that somehow to be punished is always about some deep character flaw or judgment when often it is not at all.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 3:32:38 PM

LovingMistress45

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I think it is your imagination. I have never needed to find a reason to spank a sub. I like to spank, plain and simple. Any sub with me knows this and he/she either enjoys being spanked or enjoys me enjoying myself. If you are mine and I want to spank you I say "come here I am going to spank you." That is all the reason I need, my desire.

Now I have been with subs that enjoyed punishment play. That is a game. It is not about real punishment. I am not obsessed with punishment. I have seldom punished a submissive and when I have it has almost never involved physical punishment. I think you will find most of us who truly desire this lifestyle do not have desire to find fault with our submissives.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 3:48:44 PM

thishereboi

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I have never noticed this. In fact with the people I know, it is just the opposite. They would much rather beat someone because they have been good.

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 3:55:53 PM

gypsygrl

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Its true, and not your imagination, that many--on both sides of the slash--seem preoccupied with punishment. I don't get it but I have been told that its not D/s if there's no punishment and this by real life community members.

Sir doesn't punish me. Its not our thing.

*shrugs*

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 4:07:16 PM

Tinkerer

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There's "punishment", also known as funishment, which isn't really punishment. For those of us who enjoy giving/receiving pain it's a form of play. I might poke fun at something she misspoke or tease her about something, and she'll give me a couple of whacks or make me do something slightly embarrassing. In the end we both enjoy it, though it isn't something we revolve around or even focus on.

True punishment is something I know my lady does not enjoy giving at all, and I sure as heck hate receiving it. There are only certain types of pain one can find enjoyable giving or receiving. It's interesting how the reason behind it can make it feel different. Actual punishments are serious, and neither of us likes them.

< Message edited by Tinkerer -- 6/21/2009 4:09:09 PM >

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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/21/2009 5:35:15 PM

pixidustpet

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i have been punished once. it involved writing a LOT of sentences. why? because he knows i have nerve issues and cannot physically handle a large beating, and i like the spankings and floggings he does deliver. so no, that would be pleasure and he wanted that punishment to HURT.

longhand, too. fucker.