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eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 12:10:18 AM

sweetsub41

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/24/2009
Status: offline

hello to all!

this little thread has been started in the hope of aquiring the advice of the more experienced Dominants. i am fairly new to the lifestyle. lucky for me, i am involved with a most wonderful Dom. i was hoping to get some insight on what a new sub might study, in order to become a better sub in His eyes. oh yes, He has laid out directives and made clear His likes and dislikes. i am posting this to gather thoughts and possibly surprise Him in the process.
Thank You to those who offer advice, it is greatly appreciated!

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 12:45:16 AM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

get a few good cookbooks
seriously
does he like massages? there are some wonderful books on how to properly massage someone.
The real trick here is to basically perfect your duties as assigned. Nobody can give you a list of things that every sub must know, because it doesnt really exist. You stated that you spoke with him regarding his likes, my advice would be to study the things that he likes, so that you can do them better :)

Good luck and congrats

_____________________________

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The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

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Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to sweetsub41)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 3:11:17 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Don't surprise him. I hate it when a sub "surprised" me with something that Doms like, to find out that I am not like all Doms.

The research has value. Do it, and then sit him down and say, "I've read that a lot of Doms like XXX. Would you like me to do that?"

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 6:05:10 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub41

hello to all!

this little thread has been started in the hope of aquiring the advice of the more experienced Dominants. i am fairly new to the lifestyle. lucky for me, i am involved with a most wonderful Dom. i was hoping to get some insight on what a new sub might study, in order to become a better sub in His eyes. oh yes, He has laid out directives and made clear His likes and dislikes. i am posting this to gather thoughts and possibly surprise Him in the process.
Thank You to those who offer advice, it is greatly appreciated!

My best advice is to ask him.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sweetsub41)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 7:50:00 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Learn to make his favorite food
Read his favorite book

Learn how he likes his food. Master likes his coffee black, strong and in a smaller cup. He likes his sandwiches cut diagonally. He likes his steak done medium. He dislikes chicken still on the bone. He wants something to drink before his meal and another one during. He likes his beer dark, in a glass with a medium head.

He likes wine = take a wine tasting course
He likes massage = learn how to give one.
He likes to soak in the tub = learn about ceremonial bath rituals
He likes sports = learn about his favorite sport

It's really about paying attention and being proactive rather than surprises.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 9:57:28 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

@sweetsub41

Don't you think it'd be more productive to look inside yourself?

What exactly does the word "submission" mean to you?
What is it that you are offering? If you are tempted to answer anything that sounds like "My entire self" then erase the sentence and start again.
Why are you doing so? If you say, "because it's my nature" just erase that line and try again
What sort of relationship are you hoping for? SPECIFICALLY, not "happily ever after".

You would be a better sub in my eyes by knowing yourself and being able to offer whatever it is that you offer from a standpoint of inner strength and conviction as opposed to empty fantasies and misplaced trust. If I wanted any particular sub parlor tricks, I'd just command them.

The simple answer to your question... "Us doms like blowjobs."

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sweetsub41)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 11:37:35 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Don't surprise him. I hate it when a sub "surprised" me with something that Doms like, to find out that I am not like all Doms.

The research has value. Do it, and then sit him down and say, "I've read that a lot of Doms like XXX. Would you like me to do that?"

Not a Master, but from my side of the kneel, YES YES YES to what DarkSteven said. i think it's important to learn HIM, not some fantasy or model of what you think a sub is "supposed" to be. Talk with your Dom, observe Him and always check to make sure anything you think He'd like, He would actually like. At the risk of sounding like a complete idiot - ask anyway. Once you know Him a bit, you may experiment with being more proactive in your service. Your "surprises" will be things you know He enjoys, rather than things He may not have ever even thought of.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.

"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

Owned by Chairman

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 5:06:54 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

become a better sub in His eyes.

What's that you say? He's a Dom? Ah, now I know all about him.

You think this will be a meaningful conversation by your not providing any information about the guy in question? In the vanilla world, a girl might say "my boyfriend is a broker and likes skydiving" or "my husband spends time with his kids from a former marriage". When you provide no information, you can't expect advice pertaining to your situation.

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 9:33:49 PM

cagliostro

Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline

Learn to read him. I think there's a book called, The Body Language Book, or Reading Body Language, something about body language. He'll appreciate when "you know" what he's thinking. It means that you pay attention, and that he doesn't always even need to "tell you."

(in reply to antipode)

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/25/2009 9:40:15 PM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
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Well damn, Cagliostro beat me to it...

Learn what He likes, His routines and simple pleasures and impress Him by pre-empting his needs. Does the trick for me, I can tell you.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/29/2009 7:39:08 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Simple shit

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: eager to learn. - 6/29/2009 7:53:10 AM

xiam

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
What is it that you are offering? If you are tempted to answer anything that sounds like "My entire self" then erase the sentence and start again.
Why are you doing so? If you say, "because it's my nature" just erase that line and try again
What sort of relationship are you hoping for? SPECIFICALLY, not "happily ever after"

I'm curious as to this particular bit of advice... Is it because you feel such answers are too vague, predictable, or knee-jerk?

And yes, if all else fails, learn to give exquisite head!!! :D

(in reply to leadership527)

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Post #: 12