LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion
My problem is that I rarely know how much is too much, or at least how much others would perceive as too much.
In terms of my core identity, I am who I am. I have my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc. In a D/s relationship, there is very little I won't do, provided the trust is there, but I won't be told what to think, believe, or feel because who I am as a human being trumps all else in my mind.
As for all the other stuff; clothing, food, activities, music etc, I'm very flexible and I adapt easily. I have often been accused of being too agreeable or letting people take advantage of me, but the truth is I'm just a very easy-going person who learned a long time ago to not bother sweating the small stuff.
In my life, I've been fortunate enough to have a variety of experiences, and have lived everywhere from relative luxury in upper-middle class suburbs to homelessness. I have both dined in five star restaurants and gone hungry for weeks, and although nothing can equal the sublime pleasure of a 6 head shower with great water pressure after a long hard day, I spent nearly three months with no indoor plumbing and still managed to survive.
As they say, "adapt or die." There are a very few things I actually need to survive and the rest is just icing on the cake. Does that mean that I morph too much or too easily? Maybe. But overall I think I'm a lot happier than most of the people I know.
Not at all. What you've described is more a physical adaptation. You've not changed the core of who you are.
For myself, there are some things I know will not change. There are qualities in other people I will not allow into my life, regardless of how pretty a package they present to sell it.
There are activities, that somewhat squick me in thought, that I have not tried. I make no promises. If someone were to approach me and tell me that they LIVED for heavy humiliation and physical abuse but were cool with serving, I would know they were not for me. I've never done heavy humiliation combined with alot of hitting, etc in that context. It is not something that has ever interested me. While I am not completely closed to the idea, I doubt it would become the highlight of my life. I am however, very strongly focused on the power exchange and service aspects.That will not change. To try and change my wants and needs just so that I could have that cute maso, with the love of humiliation and getting knocked around, for her to grudgingly serve........bad idea.
I also wouldn't want someone to try and change their core self, wants, needs and desires, just to try and be what I want, forsaking themselves. I would rather stay friends with them, support them, and cheer for them when they find a better fit.
< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 6/26/2009 7:24:13 AM >
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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Morphing too much - 
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As I was reading through this, I thought to myself "but what about changes that are good? what if the guidance you...as a submissive...say you crave and need comes across as too strict/too harsh/too much of a change?" If the changes that end up happening are good and yes, you end up as a different person but a better one, the one you say you wanted to be, then do you still decry the partner for "changing" you? 
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