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RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/25/2009 10:16:53 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		most important quality of being submissive? having a submissive personality.

most important qualities of being a good submissive? well that one is incredibly subjective, but my highly prejudicial and subjective opinion on that would be two things: a strive towards selflessness, and a lack of resentment.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/25/2009 10:19:38 PM   
OwnedbyShayne


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		I think the most important quality that a sub/slave can have is willingness to serve and learn for the Dominate, because its all about pleasing the Dominate. You should always go above and beyond what is expected of you as a sub/slave to learn what makes the Dominate pleased (:

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 6:14:57 AM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline 		Being true to myself and my nature is my most important thing I can offer the world.
Being able to obey
Being able to think of another's needs over my own
Being able to be self-sufficient, so no one needs to worry about how I will make it.

Having self-trust
Having self-love
Having self-respect
Having self -worth

Being and having a healthy me, emotionally, physically and mentally to offer others.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to OwnedbyShayne)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 6:29:43 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		being true to myself, and honest with him.

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(in reply to oceanwinds)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 6:57:24 AM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLoving

Honesty and trust are key key to the relationship between any sub and domme.  For a slave, I would say the same, as well as the ability to serve.  By serve, I mean placing the need to please the dominant above all else.  I think that is difficult for the most submissives and that is what separates a slave from a sub.  To have as your only mission, the desire to please your Mistress/Master, that is single focus and purpose of mind.  It is a trait most US based subs/slaves seem to struggle with.



I seem to have difficulty focusing when I am not serving. My brain is pulled in far too many directions.

(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 8:42:45 AM   
rhpaw


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Being a normal caring, compassionate and fun loving person whether you are naked in service or out in public.

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If at first you don't suceed why not try the way mistress told you to do it you dumass.
If you worry about what people think of you. You'd be surprized how seldom they do.

(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 8:55:23 AM   
maia09


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLoving

Honesty and trust are key key to the relationship between any sub and domme.  For a slave, I would say the same, as well as the ability to serve.  By serve, I mean placing the need to please the dominant above all else.  I think that is difficult for the most submissives and that is what separates a slave from a sub.  To have as your only mission, the desire to please your Mistress/Master, that is single focus and purpose of mind.  It is a trait most US based subs/slaves seem to struggle with.



From my experience, honesty is important. Yet i think oftentimes honesty is misunderstood as it's not just being honest with another, it's about being honest with self first. For me that means not just would i want to or does this sound like a fun idea, but CAN i and am i willing to step up not only to the goodies, but to the responsibilities as well. That means accepting that obedience means even when it's not convenient, doesn't sound all that fun or rewarding. That means to me that my Master's wishes are most important. It took me a long time to get to the place where i can honestly say this is true. And tantamount to me is desire - desire to learn and grow into the kind of slave Master wants, not the kind i've read about somewhere or some other Master thinks is cool.




_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.

"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

Owned by Chairman


(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 8:58:44 AM   
CaptainSex


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		For me, three of them: obedience, honesty and physical beauty. As a dom, I get to decide what's beautiful and what isn't.

< Message edited by CaptainSex -- 6/26/2009 8:59:12 AM >

(in reply to maia09)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 9:01:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		What many others have already said (aside from the misuse of the word dominate....)

honesty
some intelligence to carry on a decent conversation is nice
a good sense of humour is vital

But, what is most important to ME, in addition to the above, is that they have a deep desire to submit to, and serve ME. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 9:21:02 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLoving

I know what I consider the top qualities, however, I'd like to hear from the subs out there as to what they consider the most important traits of a "good submissive".  This applies to those that consider themselves slaves as well.

Resiliance


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(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 9:24:26 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline 		as much as I hate to rain on parades...

physical attractiveness. if you aren't attractive to your dominant, no amount of honesty, obedience, humor, or whatever else is going to make up for that.

at least not in a sexual relationship, which is what most people here are seeking.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 10:45:01 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, but physically attractive is a piece of cake to find. An attractive (to me) woman that sincerely wishes to serve ME, MY way...........nnnnnnnnnnot so much so.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 11:03:31 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

as much as I hate to rain on parades...

physical attractiveness. if you aren't attractive to your dominant, no amount of honesty, obedience, humor, or whatever else is going to make up for that.

at least not in a sexual relationship, which is what most people here are seeking.



if you don't meet the minimum standard that person set those things will be of little consequence unless they are willing to compromise. and for some physical attraction may be negotiable. i often find that meeting someone attractive isn't a difficult at all. but when he opens his mouth and quickly eliminates that appeal it wouldn't matter if he was adonis. i'd still be turned off.

porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 11:13:46 AM   
Belittled


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/26/2006
Status: offline 		I generally believe that if someone has the ability to give themselves completely to another, that is ideal.
Because anyone can pull of being a submissive, no matter how easy or difficult it is, but giving yourself to your partner, stripping away the insecurities, paranoia, and worries, and just trusting that they will be there for you when you need them, that is the perfect quality and ability that so few can manage. Obviously post the trusting stage.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 6/26/2009 12:41:15 PM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		In no particular order: loyalty, honesty, love and devotion. The rest, for me at least, falls into place as the qualities i mentioned show themselves.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 7/2/2009 3:11:39 PM   
poeticfreak


Posts: 80
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline 		i won't go so far as to say it's the most important, but it's pretty high on the list and often overlooked.  Being observant, and having some initiative, for how can one provide good service if they must be constantly instructed on what to do and when to do it

_____________________________

I have believed the best of every man. And find that to believe is enough to make a bad man show him at his best, or even a good man swings his lantern higher.- yeats

(in reply to kuriouswitch)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 7/2/2009 3:25:13 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		The smart arse part of me wants to say ...............  breathing, warm bodied  -   or alive!!!!

Seems to me that the most important quality of a submissive is that what the submissive seeks in a dominant is matched by what the dominant seeks in a submissive.  Because without a match neither will be happy in the D/s relationship.

(in reply to poeticfreak)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 7/2/2009 3:48:13 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Christinestill

the ability to choose the right dominant.


:)

I like you bluntness. Socially, I'm more of a chicken, so I'd probably phrase it a little differently, maybe, "having enough of whatever it is your dominant needs and wants" and of course "avoiding potential dominants who mistakenly imagine you have/are what they need/want." Finding a good fit can be both a science and an art.

Of course, the qualities one thinks are important in a submssive are going to vary from dominant to dominant, and it'd be downright peculiar if it weren't so common the way those qualities can take a backseat if chemistry is there. Chemistry is defintely worth watching out for...with one's finger on the trigger. :/

It's interesting (although a bit silly, in my case) to speculate on what I'd want in a submissive if I ever wanted one. I think I would want curiousity! An inquiring mind. :) An open mind would also be nice, but you can get your foot in the door with inquiring.

(in reply to Christinestill)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 7/2/2009 4:32:41 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		In one word "something"...

For sure there are stock standard traits which are extremely important, honesty, personal integrity, but beyond that I do believe that each and every one of us is an individual and therefore looking for one specific quality in 'a submissive' carries with it the risk of creating a stereotype.

Therefore I say it is 'something', because everybody living on this planet has 'something' about them, but each of us are individual and unique in our own right.

And it is that 'something' which makes humanity so beautiful.

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(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What do you consider to be the most important quali... - 7/2/2009 4:33:08 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLoving

I know what I consider the top qualities, however, I'd like to hear from the subs out there as to what they consider the most important traits of a "good submissive".  This applies to those that consider themselves slaves as well.

Being, and acting like a human being. The same qualities that go in to what makes a 'good person'.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MistressLoving)
Profile   Post #: 40
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