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Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:41:45 PM   
Aileen1968


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Status: offline 		Are physical hard limits harder than mental hard limits? Or vice versa? Or neither?

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:44:32 PM   
Aileen1968


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Status: offline 		And get your minds out of the gutter with the harder comment.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:44:59 PM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		Apples to oranges.
Breaking my leg is an immutable limit, so is deliberately inducing a panic attack by zeroing in on known triggers. You do either deliberately and you are going to have to do some fancy dancing not to have me run screaming into the night.

Not to mention that for some people physical trauma causes mental distress. So how do you separate those?

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:51:03 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Apples to oranges.
Breaking my leg is an immutable limit, so is deliberately inducing a panic attack by zeroing in on known triggers. You do either deliberately and you are going to have to do some fancy dancing not to have me run screaming into the night.

Not to mention that for some people physical trauma causes mental distress. So how do you separate those?


Actually...you probably can't separate those kinds of things. I tend to think in a relationship who's main goal is to give pleasure and not add drama or sadness or stress.
It's nice if the pleasure comes from the physical. It's nice if the pleasure comes from the mental. It's a lot nicer if the pleasure can come from either source or both.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:54:17 PM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		Both definitely. Why have a relationship where your physical needs are well attended to but your emotional needs aren't, or vice versa for that matter. I need it all or nothing.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:57:03 PM   
antipode


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quote:

Are physical hard limits harder than mental hard limits


Yes, or maybe no - wait: maybe...

A hard limit is a hard limit, I would think. Life gets too complicated, otherwise.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:57:35 PM   
Aileen1968


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Status: offline 		Yeah...me too. But...you still didn't answer my question. Which is harder? Physical or mental hard limits for you?

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 8:58:44 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

Are physical hard limits harder than mental hard limits


Yes, or maybe no - wait: maybe...

A hard limit is a hard limit, I would think. Life gets too complicated, otherwise.


I think hard limits get tested and pushed all of the time.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:12:30 PM   
cagliostro


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Status: offline 		It definitely depends on the person. For me mental limits are incomparably harder. I'm the kind of person who can take virtually any amount of physical pain. It is my mind that makes that possible.

Though, technically speaking, a hard limit shouldn't be pushed. If it is being pushed, it's no longer a hard limit. At least, that's my understanding of "hard limit."

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:27:02 PM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I think hard limits get tested and pushed all of the time.


i believe some limits are merely hard because they haven't encountered someone that prompted them to transmute their no to yes. while there are others that remain fixed regardless of the partnership. without some measure of discussion or pushing one can never tell. i can only speak for myself and i know there is one i would bend on, but it would take a remarkable person to inspire it.

porcelaine


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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:32:26 PM   
xiam


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Status: offline 		Being that i have a rather high tolerance for pain, coupled with the fact that i can be (cough) a bit of a pain slut, mental limits are most certainly harder for me.  That said, i find pushing mental limits to be much more thrilling, and have recently discovered some "hard limits" that weren't quite as hard as i thought...

Edited to add:
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
i believe some limits are merely hard because they haven't encountered someone that prompted them to transmute their no to yes...

This is *so* true!!


< Message edited by xiam -- 6/25/2009 9:37:48 PM >

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:36:10 PM   
catize


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Status: offline 		It depends on what you mean by harder and whose point of view.  Harder for the dominant to understand and accept?  Harder for the submissive to explain or give up? 

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:37:17 PM   
Aileen1968


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Status: offline 		You. Your point of view.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:38:13 PM   
Mercnbeth


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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 9:55:05 PM   
catize


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

You. Your point of view.


Okay, I think I originally misunderstood your question.
If it’s a limit, it’s a hard limit and will never happen. It doesn’t matter if it is physical or emotional, they are written in the same stone.


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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 10:29:16 PM   
JonnieBoy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

And get your minds out of the gutter with the harder comment.


Too late ... and besides, by the fact that this was post #2 ... I have company

Pirate

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 10:46:59 PM   
ZenDragoness


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Status: offline 		There is no possibility for me to seperate the physical and the mental. I saw yesterday a discussion and
the psychiatrist said: Every physical disturbance is superimposed or at least mirrored in the psyche, as i believe and feel the same, i can not answer the question.

Maybe only insofar, that both have a breaking point, a point were the strain is to strong and i think you can
train both the mental and the physical. That some people can withstand torture longer could be due to
a very well trained body (high profile sport teach you do deal with pain) and a very well trained mind.
But there are examples of physical untrained people who withstood it due to their beliefs, so maybe
i would have to conclude the mental is harder, but for me it changes and is totally intertwined.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 11:12:11 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


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Status: offline 		for me, it's the emotional limits. But mainly because they are the ones that tend to get trampled on.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 11:19:34 PM   
sweetsub1957


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Status: offline 		My Hard Limits are not to be pushed.  They are here to stay.....they are things that are against the law, serious health hazards & certain things that give me PTSD flare-ups.  I won't mention what they are as I have no desire to be mod-spanked.  I have plenty of soft limits that Sir and I both intend to push.  Neither physical nor mental soft limit is easier or harder to push.  Pushing Hard Limits is out of the question and he understands.

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RE: Which is Harder? - 6/25/2009 11:55:46 PM   
jeninvegas


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Status: offline 		I think both is equally hard and would have their own consequences when they're broken.

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