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advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 9:24:34 AM   
LadyElizabeth


Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 9:44:33 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		My advice for Novice Female Submissives

Newbie!

At a loss

I'm a new domme seeking advice

Does a slave also have to be a fool?

sub: totally new concept

Questions for other newbies

The Journey

Starting Out

New to the Life, Help

How to deal?

Request for Advice

Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries

First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master?

First time sub seeking advice

a newbie seeking advice

How can I be a great sub?

Brand new life

Help needed

Emotional Rollercoaster

Welcoming newbies

New to this

Just a few questions

Do's and Dont's

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(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 9:48:06 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Avoid the internet more often. LOL



(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 10:24:50 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		LOL.. I knew it was only a mater of time... LINKS!

Lady Elizabeth.. I really don't know. It's hard sometimes.. because sometimes you know the person you are dealing with, will still do things their own way.. no matter what you try to advise. Even when using yourself as an example. Or others you know as examples... they're only going to use that tunnel vision.. and selctive hearing.

But when one does come.. and asks.. we usually are still willing to throw our 2 cents in and hopes it becomes a full $1 one day..

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 10:30:50 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?


I would advise that they learn as much as they can by reading, listening and seeking out others who have the same interests. I know that many times when someone wants to submit, it is very hard for them to wait for the right person, so they tend to jump at the first opportnity that comes along, I would suggest that they wait, ask questions and make sure that they are going to be safe with that first person that they are meeting. In this day of the information superhighway, there is no excuse not to educate yourself before you jump in with both feet.
Anything I would have done differently? No, I am who I am and I believe what I believe because of my past experiences and mistakes. I wouldnt be who I am today without them.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 12:07:59 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?


What I would have done differently is not to have wasted a year and a half of my life on "the sub who would be dom."

Advice to the newbies:

1. Know who you are.
2. Know what you want and need, and the difference between the two.
3. Know your expectations and abilities and make absolutely certain they're realistic and rational.
4. Don't be in a rush to experience everything right now. Take your time and think with the brain residing above your shoulders.
5. Finally, don't waste your time on "partners" you know aren't right for you. If it doesn't FEEL right, it's not going to BE right, and you know when it's right - whether you choose to listen to yourself or not.

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Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 3:43:39 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?



Read, read, read, research, read and read. Get out and meet people in the lifestyle, join a munch group, read. Find people that are like minded spend time getting to know them. Get to know yourself, read, and read some more.

I think that reading is important.

But also, one of the biggest things that I can suggest is to have a mentor. Find someone that you trust to help you, guide you, teach you and be a safe person that you can talk to.

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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 3:45:49 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Avoid the internet more often


Believe it or not, for someone new...this is what I would stress with them. AVOID online...get out there and meet people.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 6:49:40 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you LA... very good threads..

1st Girl Phoenix

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 6:53:13 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?



I would say that you should not waste your time on those that you think you might be able to change. People really dont change... I have learned this. If you click and you like the person... give it a go... if there is a 'tweak' about them that bugs you.. move on.

1st Girl Phoenix

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 7:59:15 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?


to any particular question get as many answer to that question from as many people as possible... then decide what works for you..... and then remember to question your answer from time to time.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 8:07:00 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
to any particular question get as many answer to that question from as many people as possible... then decide what works for you..... and then remember to question your answer from time to time.


Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth, KnightOf Mists. To me that's basically a great rule to follow in all aspects of life.

I can't think of anything else I would add except what's been said above...Read, and experience it in real life.

Cin

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 8:14:28 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Trust your instincts.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 8:15:43 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Listen to your gut. Allow it to rule your heart.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 10:07:19 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?


Nah, don't pay any attention to the advice here. Instead, sign up for my new 6 day training course in sunny Orlando, Florida. Send $1495 to BDSM, Post Office Box …



(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/15/2006 10:46:38 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?


Nah, don't pay any attention to the advice here. Instead, sign up for my new 6 day training course in sunny Orlando, Florida. Send $1495 to BDSM, Post Office Box …





Breaks out the rubber check book... can't wait to see how far this one is going to bounce... LOL

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/16/2006 1:03:13 AM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Learn to communicate
Learn to listen
Learn your needs
Sort your shit out, put your house in order so the best of you is on offer
Educate yourself, so that you can make informed choices
Dont settle for less
Watch carefully
Learn your limits, which you believe to be hard and firm and stick to your guns
Be assertive
Always be risk aware, and minimise the risks
Know that you will develope your own way, and sod what others think, only the opinions of the people involved count.
Get physically fit, somethings require a LOT of strength
Never use KYwarming lube without a enema!

What i would of done different? Id not bother with online, just cut to the chase and go real life straight away.
Id never of hit my dom with a whip
Other than that, id do it all again, the same way. Ive had a very positive experience so far.

little1



(in reply to truesub4u)
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RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/16/2006 2:36:28 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Breaks out the rubber check book...


(naïvely) You actually write a check for rubbers?

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/16/2006 2:44:14 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Read everything you can
Ask questions
Listen to your gut
Never rush
and most importantly
use some Common friggin sense

edited to add: Those were my own rules and No, nothing I would of done differently

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 2/16/2006 2:47:42 AM >

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: advice to someone new.. - 2/16/2006 9:08:30 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

Breaks out the rubber check book...


(naïvely) You actually write a check for rubbers?



lmao... i've sat here for past 5 mins looking at this statement... laughing.. I can't even come back with a good response...

Petruchio... you ass.. you win this battle again.. but the war is still not over!... lol

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 20
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