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Acer49 -> RE: Dress for success (10/6/2009 8:48:55 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nevergrowdup
This is, in a way, a twist on the "looks and weight" thread in the "ask a master" forum.
I'd like to think that I'm pretty opened minded about appearances. I would rather chat with someone first ... get to know them on the inside before seeing a picture. Not to say that I don't have some standards. But I put a lot of emphasis on character and less on weight, hairline, etc.
So over the weekend I was chatting with a really great guy. In a way this was sort of a "Green Acres" experience. He was a rural guy, and me, liking to be near a city. And because we are so far away and both tied to our lives, it would never work. But surprisingly we got along. After a full day of chatting he showed me a picture of himself. There were parts of him that I found appealing ... but the thing that really bothered me was that he seemed to care less about his appearance. For one, there was the beard. I actually prefer a man with a beard, but it should be trimmed. If a guy looks like Grizzly Adams or a guy from ZZ Top, it turns into a negative.
The other sticking point ... his clothes. He was wearing a t-shirt, torn shorts, and a baseball cap. Now, this is a big guy ... and his choice of clothes just accentuated his gut. I've seen pictures of heavier guys, and know that if they wear certain kinds of clothes (e.g., button down shirts) the belly doesn't become the focal point. The shorts were the worst. They were so torn that I could see his underwear ... a lot. I delicately talked to him about the picture, how it wasn't very flattering ... that if he was trying to get laid he might want to put his best foot forward. His reaction: (1) He was dressed like every other guy who lives around his area and (2) If I had a problem with his appearance than I was being shallow. (For what it's worth, he bathes regularly so there shouldn't be a hygiene issue.)
I pride myself on being open minded. But I do have an issue with a guy who doesn't care enough to present himself in a favorable light.
So, ladies, am I off here? And guys ... would you be attractive to a woman who seemed to be clueless about appearance?
Some may judge you as an attractive women. some may judge you to be a tease and a slut, while others will not judge your appearance at all, perferring to find out how you think and feel about issues they believe to be important. I believe one should dress for the occasion and do their best to be seen in a positive light, understanding that people will, be it right or wrong, attempt to pass judgement.
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