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for those with children - 6/30/2009 8:48:23 PM

Valicnkitten

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i have to ask, because i am having difficulties with it, how do Y/you do it?

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RE: for those with children - 6/30/2009 9:19:19 PM

stella41b

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Just as you did it when you didn't have children, by inserting the penis into the vagina. However please make sure that the penis is stiff first (you can 'massage' it with your hand to make it harder).

ETA it's also worth covering the penis with a condom to prevent having more children, and creating more difficulties.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 6/30/2009 9:20:19 PM >

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 12:35:23 AM

AlexandraLynch

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Wait to do the stuff that makes people scream until the smaller ones are out of the house at school or grandma's. The stuff that just makes their eyes roll back you do when the smaller ones are snoring, very very quietly.

Of course, that has its own charm to it as well. (grin)

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 12:46:47 AM

PyrotheClown

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why do you think sleep overs are so popular with parents...
i remember going to kids houses I didn't even know..
"here's the number if he freaks out, don't bring him back till morning..."

so my advice is to be like my folks(those bastards lol), and loft them(your kids) onto friends for short stints so you can have some fun.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 1:06:00 AM

ChasingOblivion

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Hence the reason I have none.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 1:14:12 AM

RCdc

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People have had children for many years and still managed to have another - in other words - sex still occurs. It's not impossible.

So if sex is not impossible - the great taboo that you 'mustn't' let the children know about - how can BDSM be any more difficult.

Sleep overs, child minders, school - are all times that you can have together as a couple without them. If you are in a Ds relationship, it's not difficult at all - at least not for us. You serve, have rituals or whatever you want to call it and behave exactly how you are. It's only if you make it seem weird does it become weird.
It's only difficult if you make it that way yourself.

the.dark.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 1:16:54 AM

lally2

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ah yes, sleep overs!! -

but that doesnt deal with the majority of the time and things can get a bit too vanilla when theyre around. its a balance that youll find a way around, we all do.

other tricks are to put a story tape on when they go to bed and maybe do stuff downstairs where theres more empty space between the rooms that divide you.

depending on their age you can arrange for activity days at the weekend down at youre local rec center, send them off there on a saturday. as they get older theyll start developing their own interests, my son loves fishing and is often gone all day with his mates (perfect!). i have a very useful ex as well, but not everyone has that i know.

just see it as an organic element that is forever changing as you find different ways to squeeze in time for youreselves on a day to day basis, just be careful not to allow the kids to feel theyre being pushed out (hope you dont mind me saying that, just its easy to do without meaning to).

largely its a team effort though. so long as both of you are strong in youre dynamic and things can be expressed without too much outward demonstration, submission and dominance can flow just as well in an unspoken way. so ordering youre sub/slave to do tasks should be kept to a minimum i think when kids are around, but things can be done to ensure things get done without being obvious about it. its all about subtlety and ensuring the kids grow up in an atmosphere of respect and love.

necessity is the mother of invention, as they say - youll find what works.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 1:20:52 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
other tricks are to put a story tape on when they go to bed and maybe do stuff downstairs where theres more empty space between the rooms that divide you.

Bwahah. Except when this backfires on you when they are teens and they 'absolutely cannot go to sleep without listening to their music'. It's great when they are 5 and its incywincyspider. When they are 14 and it's Slipnot at full volume...
Believe me, we know from experience....

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 1:33:28 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

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oops

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 7/1/2009 1:42:47 AM >

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 2:00:20 AM

ranja

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tell them the masterbedroom is off limits...they should ALWAYS knock and wait for permission before entering that room...or alternatively put a lock on that door...

everyday things like taking his shoes off or him slapping your butt on occasion should be ok for them to see i recon...mine knows that i like a bit of pain but that it is daddies place to give it to me...i don't stand for getting smacked by my sprog...

and what Stella said

< Message edited by ranja -- 7/1/2009 2:03:37 AM >

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 3:49:29 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Valicnkitten

i have to ask, because i am having difficulties with it, how do Y/you do it?

There is a need to protect children. By definition a child cannot give consent and that means they cannot give consent to those experiences which they may over look or over hear.
There are silent activities and there are noisy ones and downright disturbing ones even for adult neighbours to over hear.
Solutions;
Train the sub to be silent
Engage in activities that do not give off any mechanical sounds (crack of a whip, whirr of a wand, face smacking, bottom smacking and spitting don't sound so great when I listen to someone else doing it as an adult.)
Using needles is pretty quiet in my humble opinion.
Put a lock on the bedroom door.
Build a torture basement.
Book a room.
Send the kids to camp.
Send to kids to your ex.
Send the kids to the cinema with an au pair.
Get an au pair.

The list is endless really. And you know people do scream and whimper when they are having scart plug reality sex. And families do have more than one kid. So it's possible.
And stolen fruit is very arousing if you can fight off the sheer exhaustion to weild a whip after kids arrive.
I have forgotten how to do anything without kids.
I mean what do people do all day????

Edited to add: both my teens have a sex life and have partners to the house. The noise and the stamina!!!!! So another solution is let the yound adults make the most noise and then they aren't really interested in what the yeuky adults are doing in the house.
PS I keep a supply of condoms in a jar next to the tea bags.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 7/1/2009 3:54:29 AM >

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 3:50:43 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Just as you did it when you didn't have children, by inserting the penis into the vagina. However please make sure that the penis is stiff first (you can 'massage' it with your hand to make it harder).
.

Oh so that's what I did wrong...........

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 7/1/2009 3:51:03 AM >

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 5:14:16 AM

SailingBum

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you guys all got it wrong ...once you have a kid you cant have sex until the last one is tossed outta da house ...

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 5:15:43 AM

sirsholly

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it sure seems that way...

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 5:21:26 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

People have had children for many years and still managed to have another - in other words - sex still occurs. It's not impossible.

So if sex is not impossible - the great taboo that you 'mustn't' let the children know about - how can BDSM be any more difficult.

Sleep overs, child minders, school - are all times that you can have together as a couple without them. If you are in a Ds relationship, it's not difficult at all - at least not for us. You serve, have rituals or whatever you want to call it and behave exactly how you are. It's only if you make it seem weird does it become weird.
It's only difficult if you make it that way yourself.

the.dark.

I've said the same before and had my posts pulled..lol

I knock on the doors of the young adults that live here......and they knock on ours. It's a matter of respect and privacy, simple and basic.

If our door is open , ajar, or unlocked it's fine to wander in. In fact .... very welcome.

We respect their privacy , they respect ours. I appreciate that as young men, they may be wanking. They appreciate, from conversation, information and experience, that aged adults could be doing far more interesting stuff.

It's actually quite mundane in practice.

agirl

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 5:35:03 AM

DesFIP

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Put a lock on the door, get a white noise machine, play the stereo. Use gags, and don't do stuff that makes distinctive sounds. Spanking here doesn't get done while they're awake (all teens) but wooden spoons and clamps don't make noise. Whips will, violet wands won't. Get a locking suitcase.

I will say that during school days, the house is on a more regular routine, including us playing in the morning after the bus picks him up.

When they were younger I used to trade sleepovers with a friend who had two the same age. She took mine once a month and I took hers once a month. A system like that gives you a weekend to plan for.

General stuff, he still gets what he wants, he just says "Honey, could you get me ..." instead of barking orders. As he isn't much of a barker anyway, it doesn't bother him.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 5:45:11 AM

NYLass

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Our soundproofed playroom/dungeon was in the basement, closed off with a locked door. We kept a baby monitor near the door to the basement. Since we didn't combine sex with pain, whoever was holding the whip stayed fully clothed and listened for any noises upstairs.

Sex took place in the bedroom (unless the um was at Nana's) and the door was locked.

It can be done, just think creatively.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 7:34:53 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I knock on the doors of the young adults that live here......and they knock on ours. It's a matter of respect and privacy, simple and basic.

I couldn't agree with this more. I saw someone else mention about making sure they know to knock - it goes both ways. They will respect your boundaries as long as you respect theirs.

the.dark.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 8:16:18 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I knock on the doors of the young adults that live here......and they knock on ours. It's a matter of respect and privacy, simple and basic.

I couldn't agree with this more. I saw someone else mention about making sure they know to knock - it goes both ways. They will respect your boundaries as long as you respect theirs.

the.dark.

Yeps thats the way it was in my house...I didnt wanna see my teen nakie so I knocked... My girls house has a 19 year old still at home. she doesn't knoock and I refuse to lock the door.

Im waiting for the kid at some point to walk in whilst we are doing the deed. I suspect she will then she will get the msg to knock. My point a 19 year old should damn well know better.

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RE: for those with children - 7/1/2009 9:23:02 AM

DesFIP

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That's rather passive aggressive SB. I'm more direct. Since both of mine have some ADD/ADHD I post notes on the door. "Knock damnit" gets my feelings across quite well.

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