If CM was a British Pub? (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> If CM was a British Pub? (7/1/2009 11:15:18 PM)

Greetings all,

In honor of Panda's thread visualizing CM as an Old Western what would this place look like if it were a British Pub? There are plenty of positions and personalities needed and it would be great to have a great selection of drinks and pub food on the menu.

Cheers,

Vendaval




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/1/2009 11:22:12 PM)

We'll the Mod's would be the licencee's, since it's their job to provide us with the hospitality and eject any "ne'er-do-well's".

Pirate




Vendaval -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/1/2009 11:24:17 PM)

What are some of ye ole traditions that we should carry on, Pirate?




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/1/2009 11:52:34 PM)

Traditions ... as in ... old (like coach houses) ?

Got to be HAUNTED to be a REAL traditional pub if you ask me, and of course I'm sure that all the locals will be researching their geneaology to see if they're distantly related to the famous GHOST.

Pirate




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 12:12:19 AM)

If we're going to have a real traditional MENU ... "Ploughmans" ... whether you like it or not ... HAS to be on it, complete with HOME MADE pickle.

And at LEAST twenty different types of "Beer" (to keep our American visitors from becoming totally confused by the variety ... one of those chalk boards that helps visitors out with a quaint description of each one)

Cider, traditionally being regional in availability, is essential (the proper cloudy stuff) ... If the pub has no cider ... I'm off elsewhere !

The CM "pub" must also uphold the tradition of having a small group of "wise" (or so they think), old "regulars sat up the corner and not making sense to each other, let alone the rest of us. (they shouldn't be difficult to find around this "parish" [;)])

Pirate






Vendaval -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 12:40:42 AM)

Well, if you want to round up a crew and put them to work making the place ship-shape go for it!




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 12:46:33 AM)

A traditional pub should also have a traditional name... and one that's not too "royal" (since royal houses come and go ... hopefully soon ... and haven't always been traditional)

How about a few suggestions ... LIKE : "The White Harte" , "The Roebuck" , "The Green Man" , "The Coach And Horses" , "The Wheatsheaf" , "The Star" etc. Not to exclude my personal favourite traditional british pub name "The Rising Sun" ... which also gives us a reason to put a particular TUNE on the (less traditional but nevertheless OBLIGATORY ) ... you guessed it ... JUKEBOX. Of course the playlist on said American inspired device is often OPEN TO SUGGESTION by "regulars"

I will apply for the position of "cook" because I know shit loads about TRADITIONAL pub food. My weekly menu suggestions will (of course) all be based on "Ye Olde Pub Grub" traditions ... "Ploughmans Lunch" you say, wheres the cooking in THAT then? ...?
Easy to answer ... traditional home cooked  ham and fresh baked bread are required (since supermarkets are NOT traditional)
I'm not telling where my secret CHEESE supplier is though, anyone who's paid any culinary attention to my posts here, elsewhere or our website COULD work it out ... but that might jeapardise MY supply ... of the best "traditional" cheddar I ever found.

Pirate





Vendaval -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 1:29:57 AM)

The Rampant Phallus? The Bountiful Boobage?




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 2:34:51 AM)

Rampant Phallus / Rising Sun ... Both evident first thing in the morning [;)]

Pirate




RCdc -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 2:56:49 AM)

There should be a table of grumpy old men playing dominos and a darts board that no one ever seems to use.
 
the.dark.




sirsholly -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 2:58:32 AM)

i want to be the waitress. How should i dress?




RCdc -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 3:00:37 AM)

If it was a traditional pub, there wouldn't be a waitress.  You would be a barmaid - with a low cut top and you must have amazing boobs and be busty. [;)]
 
the.dark.




sirsholly -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 3:02:34 AM)

crap.

so much for gainful employment [>:]




Aneirin -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 3:16:20 AM)

Got to have a quiz night, like the one I set the questions for last night, questions on local history, to educate those that had lived in the village all their lives. Me, I am an incomer, but the village is where my ancestors come from, so I sort of belong. Yes Johnny, the pub was the Royal Oak and I had a question on that, very few knew the answer to.  My local is a British pub, the village a one time Royalist stronghold, hence the pub name. Anyways, it caters totally for the patrons, which includes ''suggest an ale'' to get in, a wine like description of the qualities of the ale, it's 'nose'and it's alcohol content, the more the better, dark ale, real ale. Yeah, there is cloudy cider, but it makes my teeth scream, so I keep off. The music is strictly aimed at the majority, so sixties, seventies and eighties stuff, just to unsettle the errant wandering chav and let them know, this is not a lager den. We have live bands, all of which are local and sometimes terrible, but who cares once the beer is in and we have a cruise organised for August, where the pub has rented a seventy year old ferry boat which will at high tide come alongside the pub and take us on a beer cruise up around the rivers and soundfor a few hours, then back to the pub for a hog roast and band. The pub is a pet friendly pub, peoples dogs sleeping on the floor, wandering around looking for attention, scrounging food and being fed beer. The clientele include locals, squaddies, yachties, navy, building trades, french, fishermen, divers,long distance waggon drivers of all nationalities, especially them from the north east whom no one can understand, a resident US veteran who stayed here after he came back from the liberation of france, he has become Britishified enough to jovially wind up the occasional  American visitors who are here for the Pilgrim steps. in all, a real pub with interesting people and always a delight to visit.




JonnieBoy -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 3:17:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

If it was a traditional pub, there wouldn't be a waitress.  You would be a barmaid - with a low cut top and you must have amazing boobs and be busty. [;)]
 
the.dark.


And VERY rude (in a double entendre kind of a linguistic way)

(double entendre being a french = NORMAN type phrase and therefore DEFINITELY ancient english ... even if not "british")

Actually , I reckon Holly would make the perfect bar wench, because she says "SHUP" and lo and behold ... ... ...  (I rest my case) (I wouldn't bloody well argue with her ... Q.E.D.)

Pirate






sunshinemiss -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 3:44:37 AM)

I just better not...




Rainfire -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 4:44:27 AM)

[sm=wave.gif]  can I be a barmaid too and tell holly to shup and get her lazy ass back to work? 




LadySweetOrSour -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 4:46:16 AM)

I also would like to volunteer my services as barmaid. Just so I can throw people out. Because I can be mean like that sometimes.[:)]




sirsholly -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 4:49:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JonnieBoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

If it was a traditional pub, there wouldn't be a waitress.  You would be a barmaid - with a low cut top and you must have amazing boobs and be busty. [;)]
 
the.dark.


And VERY rude (in a double entendre kind of a linguistic way)

(double entendre being a french = NORMAN type phrase and therefore DEFINITELY ancient english ... even if not "british")

Actually , I reckon Holly would make the perfect bar wench, because she says "SHUP" and lo and behold ... ... ...  (I rest my case) (I wouldn't bloody well argue with her ... Q.E.D.)

Pirate



ok...so i have the attitude and the mouth (ooo...does this mean i an saucy?)...but not the boobs.

You Brits are fussy...




sirsholly -> RE: If CM was a British Pub? (7/2/2009 4:51:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rainfire

[sm=wave.gif]  can I be a barmaid too and tell holly to shup and get her lazy ass back to work? 


Listen wench...i said i wanted the job before you did, so that gives me seniority over yer grumpy ass...




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