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Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 4:14:41 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Just here, we have seen so many steadfast members say: "it's time to pack it in, I/i won't find what I/i need so its time to say goodbye"--though I get that feeling, ( been there, done that and traded the t-shirt back in more than a few times)--how sad that we cannot find what we seek---probably a spin off the recent posts of morphing, or finding what you never thought you would seek---but how sad that so many of those we deem awesome are saying goodbye and will go into the gentle night alone.
 
Are we seeking the impossible? Or has life spoken louder?

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 4:21:56 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		It has to be disheartening to those not already blessed with partners.  The economy tanking makes travel (and our lives in general) more and more difficult, so I can understand why it is happening, but you are right.  It's sad.

I do not think it is impossible, though.  Difficult, yes. It just takes patience and tenacity.  I would never give you on the path I knew was the one I would be happiest on, but then I got Mine.


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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 4:25:21 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		It can sometimes feel that way. However when I get to feeling like this I stop and think and I always seem to arrive at a couple of conclusions.

First thing is when I signed up for this site I wasn't guaranteed anything and even though it's sometimes a little more challenging I try to approach coming here and being here without having too many expectations.

However this brings me to the second thing, which is in the time I've been coming here, and especially after I started exploring these boards I've learned so much, been exposed to so much, and got to know so many people, many of them who I will probably never meet, which have made my time here so worthwhile and at times meaningful. I've had people pull me out of depression, inspire me, question me, and cause me to experience new thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I feel the sadness too at times, I sometimes have feelings of disillusionment, but almost invariably my thoughts and feelings lead me back to the points I've just made above.

I'm still not sure whether it is hope or foolishness. But for sure I know that time will tell.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 4:36:39 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Are we seeking the impossible? Or has life spoken louder?

People go through stages. That's all it is; some get tired of the endless grind of 'looking', some get tired of the endless grind of 'finding and then falling back into the single category' and some get tired of the endless grind of being alone.
It's not that we seek the impossible, it's that we all go through our stages where we just say 'to hell with it for now'.
NO big deal. It happens. Alot.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 5:17:35 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

First thing is when I signed up for this site I wasn't guaranteed anything and even though it's sometimes a little more challenging I try to approach coming here and being here without having too many expectations.



Couldn't have said it better.

I joined this site to learn more about D/s relationships in an environment that was comfortable for me. I found much more. I met a few people from here, some which will (hopefully) be lifelong friends. I met my Sir and although our relationship is of a somewhat temporary nature, I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned quite a bit, even non D/s or BDSM related things. I've chatted with and have good friends across the pond (as I jokingly say to my Netherlands buddy).

So, yeah..I feel for those who are frustrated and can't find who or what they want/need/desire. Sometimes, and I'm absolutely not being judgmental, I wonder if they've figured out the common denominator; or have they yet to realize that life is too short to not grab happiness, regardless of how fleeting.

My one cent....can't give two cause rent is due.


< Message edited by sblady -- 7/2/2009 5:18:53 PM >

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 5:27:41 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I am currently at this point.

I just changed our profile because we are tired of the emotional roller coaster.

I will not leave the boards but I am sure I will be here a lot less.

Steel

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 5:44:22 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I know wonderful women are out there, I have met some amazing ones from here.  I met one of the great loves of my life here, BSB.  I am not really looking at the moment but I think people would be foolish to blow off CM just because you haven't met someone amazing here YET.  There are a lot of amazing men and women here who are single who post on here.

Just relax and let it happen when fate smiles on you.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 5:48:20 PM   
sweetgirlserves


Posts: 373
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
Author Unknown

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 6:04:09 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I can understand the disheartening feeling some may feel and thus cause them to leave.  However I think the site offers a lot beyond just looking for a partner.  However, in my opinion, the site has changed over the years that I've been here (this is my second sn).  The topics in the threads are different... a lot of the good posters (not that there arent any at this time) aren't so active in the boards anymore.  Seems like there are much more gamers or fakers lurking around .  Just my opinion/observation.

So in a way, I understand why.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 6:24:37 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Are we seeking the impossible? Or has life spoken louder?


I don't know... are people seeking the impossible?  I'd say generally not.  If it were completely impossible, then there would be no success stories here.  And there are many.

But really it depends on what it is that a person is seeking.  For some, it might be a good thing that they don't find it.  Not yet, anyway.

I do believe there are those here who might have unrealistic expectations.  It doesn't make them less awesome as people, and it is sad that they might be disappointed... but if they learn from those disappointments, then they might be better prepared for the next opportunity... be it here or elsewhere.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 6:27:39 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I too think people go through stages and changes in their life.   It's also summer.  Real life kicks in.   Vacations, ums out of school, in some professions work explodes this time of year, others it dwindles down.  The heat (and humidity here) will just about suck the life out of lots of people.    Some may even see it as a failure if they've been looking for a while and haven't found "their someone".  

It's much easier to say I quit and give up than it is to stay and perservere (did I spell that right?)

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 7:18:34 PM   
autoRelease


Posts: 69
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		Hmmm I can understand people getting bored with the site or developing other priorities, but to actually post here to say "I give up" strikes me as weird.  Just because you've decided not to bother looking doesn't mean you have to leave for good.

...Although, my case might be different because I came here already knowing that I will probably never find a partner.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 7:36:38 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
I have made some wonderful friends here. I use my journal to vent and dump. So it does work for me in that respect.
Finding someone .. well I maintain hope, but I will move on anyway.
While I don't doubt that love can grow and change over time, this expresses how I feel about it:
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.
Kahlil Gibran
But, maybe lightening will strike :)

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 7:51:39 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I used to have a plaque that always sat on my mantle, it said "Since I gave up hope I feel much better".

The only way I'm going to "find" what I want and need in an s-type is if they literally throw themselves at my feet, and even then I can't say I'd keep them. I'm not now, nor will I in the future, walk away from the "lifestyle". It's just part of who I am so that isn't possible. I just hang out here because of this damned unhealthy addiction to the message boards.

Jewel

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 7:58:33 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		It's work finding a partner. At times that work is difficult and feels almost impossible. Of course you may find someone and it may not last and then you go to work again finding what comes next.
Sometimes you rest. It's hard working at something and not finding it or being disappointed. The roller coaster of getting hopes up and then having them dashed is hard to take at times.

If it's a true desire to have a partner you always come back to doing the work involved and once again...sigh...taking up the burden of putting one foot in front of the other to meet people. But as Stella pointed out there is the side benefit of finding new friends and gaining new knowledge along the way that in a way is recompense for all of this work. You may not get the partner you wanted but you do get something in return and I doubt that any of us would say it wasn't worth it in the end.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 8:00:35 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline 		Reading such a melancholic and philosphic opening post in the morning is great CdM.

As somebody to whom the seeking is foreign i am not qualified to answer the question, because along my life path i met the most extraordinary people by pure chance.

But i have noticed that people who are seeking, often find in times of retreat or respite or after a calming period.

Like my old singing teacher used to say: Often when people due to travel or other personal reasons take a break with teaching but sing on for themselves in the meantime, coming back i notice a definite developement, often crossing a bridge we worked on for some time.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 8:00:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Finding a partner here isn't any differnt than anywhere else. Sometimes it comes quickly. Other times it takes a lifetime. Are we seeking the impossible...only if you turn away every single person who doesn't meet up to your impossible standards. In everything we have to be flexible and open if we wish to find what we deserve in life.


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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 8:16:40 PM   
BarnacleBill


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		All good points of course. Thank God for the boards at least there are interesting people and posts to interact with from time to time.

People dont give up your hopes....just give up time. You will find what you want!

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 8:26:01 PM   
autoRelease


Posts: 69
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I used to have a plaque that always sat on my mantle, it said "Since I gave up hope I feel much better".


That's very true.

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RE: Its so sad... - 7/2/2009 9:02:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I have pretty much stopped looking, its not so much because I don't think I will find someone, as I find I don't really care anymore, I am just not that interested in a relationship at this point in my life, things are complicted enough as they are. However, I still send out the odd CMail to somebody who interests me, but I really don't have any expectations. I will, however, continue to haunt these boards as long as I have internet access. I love the boards and all the people on here, its like a 2nd home to me in many ways.

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