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is it worth it - 7/2/2009 4:19:32 PM   
noname123456


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		my Mistress is stoping smokeing so i have to do the same she told me if i go buy pack of smokes i am going to get punished what do you think is it worth geting punished ?
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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 4:23:13 PM   
Rhembein


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/8/2009
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Hmmmm. I guess that's a personal decision.

For me, nothing is 'worth' His disapproval. But I realize that's different for everyone.


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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 4:39:35 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: noname123456

my Mistress is stoping smokeing so i have to do the same she told me if i go buy pack of smokes i am going to get punished what do you think is it worth geting punished ?

I think it's worth if you want to hang on to your umm...relationship.


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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 4:43:36 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		The question is: Is it worth it to disobey and hurt Her---if you are worried about punishment, that says you don't give a damn about Her and care more about your needs. 

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 5:34:21 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Is it that you don't care whether your Mistress is happy or not, or that it's difficult physically/mentally to quit?

If it's the former, then M/s isn't for you. 

If it's the latter, go to her and explain that quitting is tough for you.  Since you quitting is her idea, she should be willing to work with you to help you.




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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 5:50:51 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		i guess my question is whether you're ready to quit and if you're only doing so because she said so. if she hadn't decided to quit herself would you be doing the same? also, is this an area you're willing to hand over control or would you prefer to have some input in her decision? you have a few things to consider. i don't know if it is as cut and dry, particularly since she accepted your habit going in. best of luck either way.

porcelaine


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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 6:28:14 PM   
alphamaleslil1


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/29/2009
Status: offline 		To me it sounds like you and mistress need to have a serious talk. Nicotine, I've heard, is more addictive than herion. No addiction is quit at someone else's say(am I wrong? I'm really asking) You're gonna have to talk to her.

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 6:52:01 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		She may not be able to stay around a smoker any more. If so, then you have to decide which one to obey - her or your addiction.

How about looking into ways to stop smoking; meds, patches, inhaler etc.

However if this was not one of your originally negotiated limits, you may need to tell her you can't quit yet. Just be aware that if so, she may prefer to end the relationship rather than risk her health by being around another smoker.

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 7:20:08 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you are fully ready to quit smoking then no problem. If you aren't ready to quit then you're setting yourself up to fail. 

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 8:13:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		YES! Smoking is a nasty habit and shortens your lifespan...plus your stopping helps her to stop. It's a service to your Mistress. So stop smoking. You'll make you AND your Mistress healthier in the long run.

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 9:42:37 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Ah littlewonder, if only it was so easy. I have tried to quit so many times I can't remember how many, and I never manage to sty off the damned things.

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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 10:53:28 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

what do you think is it worth geting punished ?

I do not know is it worth maybe getting cancer? I think if your Mistress is trying to quit that as her sub you would help her by encouraging her to abstain from smoking. She is probably thinking about her health and yours by quitting, as a sub you should respect that or if you cannot, perhaps she is not the Mistress for you.

~Lashra


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RE: is it worth it - 7/2/2009 11:08:08 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		let's see...

i'm a smoker; worse than a fucking junkie when it comes to getting my fix...

my smoking has been a part of my life far longer than any relationship...

to be threatened to be punished and/or abandoned for something that was common knowledge as an addiction(not just a habit) prior to my relationship, is passive-agressive at best and extremely cruel at worst...

by the way, did i mention that this just took place between me and the top i've been seeing for the past three years?

make your choice wisely!

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 1:08:27 AM   
noname123456


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		thank you all for you thoughs on this

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 5:30:25 AM   
brandi1379


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		if u really respect your mistress you will obey, im trying to quit for my Sir but its hard and i think he understands that

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 5:35:03 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		What is she going to do to herself if she starts smoking again?

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 6:20:08 AM   
newone11


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/8/2008
Status: offline 		You might want to read "How to Quit Smoking the Easy Way" by Allen Carr.  Yes, I know the title is horrible since there really is no easy way but the reviews on Amazon are pretty amazing.  I used it myself and quit for over a year.  Admittedly, I did backslide so take it this post for what it's worth. (Recently bought another copy because I want to try again.)



< Message edited by newone11 -- 7/3/2009 6:41:14 AM >

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 6:40:13 AM   
newone11


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/8/2008
Status: offline 		Getting off my lazy behind and looking at the book is my friend....the author's name is Allen Carr.

*Edited the first post to add the author's name figuring I would just delete this one and make it easy.  Then I saw that I can't delete posts so just ignore this one!  Need.More.Coffee.

< Message edited by newone11 -- 7/3/2009 6:43:20 AM >

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 6:45:24 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Is it that you don't care whether your Mistress is happy or not, or that it's difficult physically/mentally to quit?

If it's the former, then M/s isn't for you. 

If it's the latter, go to her and explain that quitting is tough for you.  Since you quitting is her idea, she should be willing to work with you to help you.





I think this is absolutely right.
S made this decision on my behalf but understood that as an addicted smoker it was going to take time and patience from him. He didn't just say 'stop or get punished' but sat me down and explained how 'WE' were going to do this and as long as I followed his instructions then smoking would not become an issue. More importantly I had to want to stop. If I had just been doing this for him then I could never of done it and that has nothing to do with lack of respect for my partner.
Giving up smoking is not like giving up sugar and it can be very tough on some people and those people need help and support to get through it.


< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 7/3/2009 6:50:21 AM >

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RE: is it worth it - 7/3/2009 7:20:57 PM   
subage


Posts: 13
Joined: 4/24/2009
Status: offline 		i have give up everything my family friends eveything i moved 3000miles away to be here with my Master and Mistress i am haveing a hard time with giveing up smokeing when things get tough or i start to think about home i smoke its like it the one things has stayed the same i know it sounds stupid but that why i think it so hard for me to stop

(in reply to newone11)
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