How to find a Mistress for me (female)

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How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/2/2009 10:06:08 PM

theflamewithin

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

Hello and Greetings! I am a female and would like to trained and hopefully collared by another female. How do I approach Mistress's do see if they are interested? I do not want to step on feet if They are not into other females.
Thank you in advance for any answers.

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/2/2009 10:45:42 PM

inkSecret

Posts: 83
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

.... You look at their profile and read it?

Especially the part labeled "Looking For" ?
If they're "Looking For" a submissive female or slave female...

...Then. That's evidence that they may be interested in you.

(in reply to theflamewithin)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/3/2009 5:23:19 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Your post states that you are a submissive looking for a Domina only.

Your profile states that you are bisexual and not sure if you are Domme, sub, or switch.

Figure out what you want, and then go forth.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to inkSecret)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/3/2009 12:15:30 PM

LdyWintershade

Posts: 41
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline

I agree that you must look over and READ the profiles. Find the ones that interest you and approach them respectfully. Most Dommes are happy to get messages from potentials. :) As for your uncertainty about where exactly you fit in BDSM, perhaps you should redefine your profile to simply state that you are looking for a guide, trainer, friends, whatever...to help you discover what you want more clearly. In my opinion, you should not rush to be someone's slave if you are not even sure that is what you are.
Talk to people, including other subs, slaves and Switches....they have a lot to teach you and you can gain a lot from the experience. Once you sort it out, I think you will find that finding what you seek, will be much simpler.
Ask questions, and just get to know people. Most are very helpful and willing to answer questions, directly.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/3/2009 1:37:43 PM

Ambyant

Posts: 194
Joined: 4/22/2008
From: California Girl
Status: offline

If you want real time, go to your local Munches. If you only want online, then it really doesn't matter, neh?
Even if you only chat for a while, try to chat with owned slaves and Mistress types too - these forums and the people who offfer intelligent comments are worth the read!

_____________________________

~ If a little knowledge is dangerous, I'm a very dangerous Girl ~

Diva Zya had to start all over again
damn password changes!

(in reply to LdyWintershade)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/3/2009 8:46:41 PM

LdyWintershade

Posts: 41
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline

I certainly hope you find what you seek. Just don't give up and keep talking with everyone you can. You'll see, it just takes time. :)

(in reply to Ambyant)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/3/2009 10:47:06 PM

theflamewithin

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

I updated profile and hopes that helps confusion! Thanks to all that gave great and excellent advice!

(in reply to LdyWintershade)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/4/2009 8:48:49 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Update it again. Your profile says nothing about you other than you don't really know what you want beyond a XX chromosome. If I got an email from someone with as barren a profile as yours (and I have) I'd hit Delete and never bother to reply.

Who are you as a person? What hobbies do you enjoy? What sort of music do you like? What sort of relationship do you seek -- 24/7 TPE, casual weekend play, online only? Are you service oriented or are you only interested in kinky sex? Do you expect monogamy or are you open to a polyamorous relationship? Are you married and looking for a Dominant on the side? Do you have offspring who live with you? I always read profiles from people who contact me to find out this type of information. If I see something that makes me think we won't be compatible, then I'll send a "thanks, but no thanks" message.

Since you don't have a photo in your profile, I hope you're sending one with your intro message. I don't respond to messages without face photos. If someone isn't "out" enough to post a photo or at least send one with the initial contact, that person isn't going to be compatible with me. Plus, a photo will tell me whether or not I'm likely to be attracted to a potential sub. For me, physical attraction is important. I don't need to see nudes, but a good smile and pretty eyes are a big bonus. I'm sure other Dominants will be interested in what you look like too, especially if they have a photo on their profiles.

Last, but not least, limit your search to lesbian or bisexual Dominants. With the bisexual women, you'll need to read profiles to see whether they're looking for men, women, or both. The lesbians will, of course, only be interested in women. However, you'll need to check to see if they're willing to consider a bisexual sub. Some lesbians won't have anything to go with a bi woman.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to theflamewithin)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/4/2009 9:00:26 AM

MissDominae

Posts: 94
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

As a Lesbian Domme who *is* looking for a female submissive, these are a few of the obvious things I'd want to see.

****that you had read my profile
****that your profile told me about youas a person, not just your laundry list of wants and desires
****Indications of what you seek AND what you offer; remember, D/s is a two way street
****An introduction which was polite, informative, well considered, NOT a form letter and included a Photo
****What you felt you could bring to a relationship
****What you would ideally seek to gain from a relationship
****Why me and not some other woman out there; what was it about MY profile which caught your interest

Those are just a few beginning thoughts but, if they were there in part or in full, you'd certainly at least get a polite reply from me.

Blessings and good luck ......... Olivia

_____________________________

***~ Success can not be measured in the respect gained from others, only by the respect that, with complete self honesty and freed of ego or delusion, we are able to give ourselves.~***

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

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RE: How to find a Mistress for me (female) - 7/8/2009 8:34:24 PM

theflamewithin

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2009
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Thank you all that responded and back to my profile to do more work!

(in reply to MissDominae)

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