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pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 6:42:55 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		I understand that being a sub means you give up all say, and expect nothing sexual back.. but does it have to be painfull? I mean, I like to please a woman and to be teased and taunted and lead arround. I have no problem with love bites, nails, ect..

But looking around I noticed that it seems like all mistress's seem interested in tourture. I draw the line at risk of death, agony, pierceing, and pain to my boy-bits.

So, my question is, is there any middle ground where I'd feel comfortable exploreing, or if I'm going out there do I just have to bite the bullet and get a thick skin?

< Message edited by Iamsubfkme -- 7/3/2009 6:44:54 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 6:48:11 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Not every Domme wants a painslut for her sub. Many want a boy to pamper her, do housework, chores, etc. Just as some require sexual service, others have no interest in being sexual with their boy. Best thing to do is hide the profiles that mention "torture", pain, etc. No need to have them visible for a second look.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
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RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 6:53:09 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme
But looking around I noticed that it seems like all mistress's seem interested in tourture. I draw the line at risk of death, agony, pierceing, and pain to my boy-bits.


Uh....if you see anyone whose fetish is death to their subs, run, don't walk, the other direction.

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 6:53:48 PM   
Trashbagboy74


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Well i got to say something on this topic and i got to say that is right andbout a domme. Thye just want to be Pampered from head to toe and i do enjoy that especial when they get their Nails done. I enoy doing the chores in the house and i take control of the chores that have to be done in the house. We have a BDSM House but there are other people in the house that Mistress can't do to me when i am doing the chores.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
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RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:01:18 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

Not every Domme wants a painslut for her sub. Many want a boy to pamper her, do housework, chores, etc. Just as some require sexual service, others have no interest in being sexual with their boy. Best thing to do is hide the profiles that mention "torture", pain, etc. No need to have them visible for a second look.

Hmn.. well I do enjoy makeing the lady I'm with happy.. pampering can be fun. ^^ but not at teh cost of pain.. how do I hide those profiles?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme
But looking around I noticed that it seems like all mistress's seem interested in tourture. I draw the line at risk of death, agony, pierceing, and pain to my boy-bits.

Uh....if you see anyone whose fetish is death to their subs, run, don't walk, the other direction.


I meant things like shock, water, binding, fire, needles, and other stuff that could easyly lead to a painfull and messy death.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:24:56 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

I understand that being a sub means you give up all say, and expect nothing sexual back.. but does it have to be painfull? I mean, I like to please a woman and to be teased and taunted and lead arround. I have no problem with love bites, nails, ect..

Who said it was about giving all and getting nothing in return?  Who said it's all about pain?

But looking around I noticed that it seems like all mistress's seem interested in tourture. I draw the line at risk of death, agony, pierceing, and pain to my boy-bits.

If these profiles bother you, hide them. Just click the "hide user" button under their listing on the main page.

So, my question is, is there any middle ground where I'd feel comfortable exploreing, or if I'm going out there do I just have to bite the bullet and get a thick skin?

There's always room for negotiations and a middle ground.  Make it clear you're new and inexperienced.  Rule #1:  Don't break your toys...there are no exchanges given. Talk of death, permanent damage or any other nastiness is best avoided. 


On a side note...
After reading through your profile I get the impression that, while you're seeking a woman to help you find your "submissive side", you're also mainly focused on "no string encounters" with a view towards FWB.  Is it submission or bottoming you find appealing?  Do you understand the difference? Have you explored your local kink community?  Maybe find a munch that caters to a younger crowd. 
With some exposure to different activities and people, you may find the things you thought would cause a "messy death" can instead be explored sanely and safely.
 
Good luck!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:28:50 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

I understand that being a sub means you give up all say, and expect nothing sexual back.. but does it have to be painfull? I mean, I like to please a woman and to be teased and taunted and lead arround. I have no problem with love bites, nails, ect..

But looking around I noticed that it seems like all mistress's seem interested in tourture. I draw the line at risk of death, agony, pierceing, and pain to my boy-bits.


It's true.

You're fucked.

(Any other questions?)

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:34:05 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		CarrieO, what is this bottoming you speak of? O_o? I am rather new to this, and I keep feeling newer....

I mentioned FWB because of the distance between willing partners, and me.

...and I torrented some video's last night, and they scared me shit-less.. I watched them though.. all 4-ish hours..

I edited my profile, and I think it better fits what I'm looking for! any suggestions?

< Message edited by Iamsubfkme -- 7/3/2009 7:39:27 PM >

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:41:39 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Not all dominants are sadists.  Pain play is often part of the deluxe package, but you don't have to engage in it if you don't want to.  Just say so up front.  Don't fear the profiles that mention pain play - some of us who like it don't insist upon it, and enjoy the variety of creative play that can be engaged in with one who prefers no pain.

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:46:51 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		hmn.. ok, well then theres hope for me yet. >_<

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:47:42 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

CarrieO, what is this bottoming you speak of? O_o? I am rather new to this, and I keep feeling newer....

I mentioned FWB because of the distance between willing partners, and me.

...and I torrented some video's last night, and they scared me shit-less.. I watched them though.. all 4-ish hours..

I edited my profile, and I think it better fits what I'm looking for! any suggestions?


FWB-friends with benefits
bottom- one who submits during the scene only

I would suggest you use the search feature available here to help you out.  A wealth of humor, rants, arguments and lots of amazing knowledge. 
Here's a couple that may be fun to start with...

BDSMdefinitions

BDSMbooklist

You may also want to consider removing any talk of payment from your profile.  It might draw attention but not necessarily the kind you want.


< Message edited by CarrieO -- 7/3/2009 7:48:33 PM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:54:23 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		ah, thank you! -runs off to read-

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 7:54:42 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

I meant things like shock, water, binding, fire, needles, and other stuff that could easyly lead to a painfull and messy death.



Based on this one line alone, I'd say you need to educate yourself a lot more about BDSM before you get involved with anyone kinky.  It sounds like you've been reading too much Stephen King. 

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:08:55 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		I've read every Stephen king book.. ..and short story. so I thought I was well prepared for anything.. I was wrong.

I'm working on educating myself as we speak.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:13:31 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

shock, water, binding, fire, needles, and other stuff that could easyly lead to a painfull and messy death.


Yeah, it sounds a lot worse than it is. Really.

Most mistresses will listen to you, respect your limits, and let any moving of said limits be ones that are mutually and carefully done so you have a good experience. I too once said, "OMG would never ever light someone on fire!"  Now, I love it, I've got a friend who wants to have it done, so we're going to try it soon. But I wasn't willing to do it until I had learned  how to do it safely, so that no one gets damaged. I don't think any competent dom is going to do something they don't really know how to do yet, because we don't like damaging subs. Because then the subs won't play with us. (grin)

I can do a sensual play scene with nothing but what nature gave me...fingertips, fingernails, breath, and hair. I like to work with a few more items to give a few more sensations, though..feathers, fur, a pair of chopsticks, and maybe a nice suede flogger that thuds. And that's all in the game too. You just aren't going to see this in a video, because it just makes people purr and sink into the table, which is not very interesting for outsiders to watch.


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:16:15 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		hmn.. message me a link so said video please. ^^


..and well this topic had helped me set my profile to show exactly what I'm looking for. ^^

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:17:48 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

I've read every Stephen king book.. ..and short story. so I thought I was well prepared for anything.. I was wrong.

I'm working on educating myself as we speak.


Trust me, if you meet a Domme named Annie who has a thing for tying you to the bed while hoisting a sledgehammer and saying "Now that's an oogie mess"...you still wouldn't be ready!

Reality is a wonderful thing....let's not forget that, okay?

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 7/3/2009 8:18:58 PM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:18:23 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		As I said, no one takes videos of that.

And I'm glad we over here on the boards could help!


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:19:31 PM   
Iamsubfkme


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

I've read every Stephen king book.. ..and short story. so I thought I was well prepared for anything.. I was wrong.

I'm working on educating myself as we speak.


Trust me, if you meet a Domme named Annie who has a thing for tying you to the bed while hoisting a sledgehammer and saying "Now that's an oogie mess"...you still wouldn't be ready!

Reality is a wonderful thing....let's not forget that, okay?


wtf.. now I'm scared again.. I'll just keep at my reading.


< Message edited by Iamsubfkme -- 7/3/2009 8:20:38 PM >

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: pleasing a mistress? - 7/3/2009 8:20:28 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry...just a bit of humor.  Stick with reality and you'll be fine.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Iamsubfkme)
Profile   Post #: 20
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