RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what?

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RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 9:09:59 AM

peachgirl

Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
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I kind of put that in the category of, she's a better cook or a better at her job, stuff like that. if one person needs more kink than the other, then it's a matter of finding a way to get that person's needs met. that may require flexibility, imagination and patience...but if it matters enough to both partners, they can make it work.

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 21

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 9:49:43 AM

BarnacleBill

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline

Being a Dom/Master for many years I have ran across several kinks that where to much like....EWwwwwwwwwwwwwww??? Scat/GS and lately Blood Sucking will pass on those thank you! But if thats what they like they can have that fun with like minded people as well.

Lets not talk about the pain sluts who need more and more severe punishment to get them off just too much work plus bloody welts are to hard to clean and treat afterwards.

And of course even after meeting and talking you find out later what their really into. Whips(okay) Chains(okay) Great Danes?(no thanks) lol

(in reply to peachgirl)

Post #: 22

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 11:34:38 AM

dove967

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline

I am much kinkier than my Daddy in that I crave much rougher play. Once Daddy knew I had desires that he was not interested in, he did the most loving thing a Daddy could. He screened several ads on craig's list and discovered this Dom looking for play partners. To make a long story short, that Dom has now become my Sir and under Daddy's supervision, is taking me to levels I always dreamed of. His experience and wisdom are helping me grow as submissive and a person. He and Daddy are also very close friends, both looking out for my absolute best. I am so grateful to have a Daddy that loves me so much!

(in reply to BarnacleBill)

Post #: 23

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 12:40:14 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

I am kinkier than a lot of men I have run into. In some fantasy thing I think for the most part they find it hot. If there is a very big difference I don't know that a long term relationship will result.

(in reply to dove967)

Post #: 24

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 2:20:12 PM

Riesa

Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline

I am in a Vanilla Relationship, I have other Desires but they are on a back burner so to speak, we met when I was at a different change in my life,
When I met him, He was Very 'into' anything Sexual, (not bdsm) I was very Shy to start with, he wanted fun all the time, and eventually he lost the need for fun a lot, but got me more wanting it lol,
he knows i have other interests, but in the last 2 yrs its come around in a conversation, that he finds me a bit OTT, being very highly sexed, etc, I tried to introduce him into what i Like with books etc, he has no interest, he also says he sometimes gets turned off a lot with sex always offered on a plate, so to speak.
My Ex Husband however it was always the other way around he was wanting it and i wasn't Interested, its strange how the tables turn

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 25

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 2:49:35 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

One of the best dates i went on was in London at the Tate Modern Members bar. Nice guy and (don't know what possessed me) i met him on a vanilla site. We talked for hours but two days later he called to say he thought i was too 'out there; sexually for him.

Oh well. There isn't much I can honestly say I haven't experienced in this world of kink and no kink no turn on but....

it's not just the kink which is the turn on, it's the man. I've been fortunate enough to have had relationships with some truly amazing men who have been stunners but without the ability to stimulate my mind or my imagination no amount of skillful kink is important. For me intelligence and a certain degree of creativity is so rare a commodity that it's a kink all in it's own right. The first route is the mind and if that comes wrapped in someone that fits my pictures then it's a sure fire winner.

As for who is kinkier than who: as a submissive it's not my position to demand the kink and the nearest I have come to doing so is to be forced into confession type play. Kink is not quantifiable. Looking at me in a certain way is enough in the eyes of the right beholder.

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 26

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 6:38:40 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

i suppose it is only an issue if her fetishes are unappealing to him. i enjoy the ones i have and generally try to find someone on par. which mitigates my need to restrain or put aside things i find appealing. it is usually better if he is identical or far worse. i'm assured we'll have some delicious fun exploring.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 27

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/4/2009 6:47:33 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Depends who you are asking.

Me personally, I do have some kinks, the guy (#1) I am chatting with has some kinks, but the 2nd guy has kinks I will not touch (he's a do me anyway).

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 28

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/5/2009 12:23:46 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Can a woman be "too kinky" for a man? That is to say - she is "MUCH MORE KINKY" in her experiences, desires, and background, but she is perfectly fine going at the speed and level of the man; the issue is not that she is pushing him or making him uncomfortable or not respecting his limits. But when he looks at what she has done and what she is capable of, it's just way kinkier than anything he has experienced. Then what?

A girlfriend of mine told me that she felt that very few men would be "turned off" by an extremely kinky, nasty girl (sexually) - that if she was much more wild and kinky than he was, even if it were things he wasn't into, he'd still find it hot. Can a woman be too kinky?

Male subs: If a woman is into kinks that you are NOT into, but she totally respects your limits, do you find it kind of hot that she's done these things, or do you prefer to not think about it?

Do you THINK about the things your kinky lady has done, or prefer to keep them out of your head because they are "weird?"

Akasha

quote:

Can a woman be "too kinky" for a man? That is to say - she is "MUCH MORE KINKY" in her experiences, desires, and background, but she is perfectly fine going at the speed and level of the man; the issue is not that she is pushing him or making him uncomfortable or not respecting his limits. But when he looks at what she has done and what she is capable of, it's just way kinkier than anything he has experienced. Then what?

A girlfriend of mine told me that she felt that very few men would be "turned off" by an extremely kinky, nasty girl (sexually) - that if she was much more wild and kinky than he was, even if it were things he wasn't into, he'd still find it hot. Can a woman be too kinky?

Male subs: If a woman is into kinks that you are NOT into, but she totally respects your limits, do you find it kind of hot that she's done these things, or do you prefer to not think about it?

Do you THINK about the things your kinky lady has done, or prefer to keep them out of your head because they are "weird?"

Akasha

AAkasha,

In my time on the path, I would tender that there are some really high level kink factors is some fems, even vanillas' Some would have caused some serious concern to a few Dominants that I know; but for myself, no one has reached my level of consumate kink.

CP

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 29

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/5/2009 2:48:43 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Can a woman be "too kinky" for a man?

No.

(I'm available during business hours if you need more input on this).

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 30

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/5/2009 9:46:03 PM

aBondageTop

Posts: 82
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline

It is definitely possible for a woman to be too kinky for a man. I have a friend who complained that his girl wanted him to tie her to the bed, and even that was too kinky for him. I'm fairly kinky, but could not get into anything involving scat or blood.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 31

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/6/2009 10:34:49 AM

Handsbacktied

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

As a sub, I'm definitely looking for more of a challenge when in the bedroom. But it depends on whether the extra kinks would gross me out, or make me curious.
For me, scat or blood would turn me off, but something different that I haven't really considered getting into could completely turn me on.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 32

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/6/2009 5:54:16 PM

justme1980

Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Can a woman be "too kinky" for a man? That is to say - she is "MUCH MORE KINKY" in her experiences, desires, and background, but she is perfectly fine going at the speed and level of the man; the issue is not that she is pushing him or making him uncomfortable or not respecting his limits. But when he looks at what she has done and what she is capable of, it's just way kinkier than anything he has experienced. Then what?

A girlfriend of mine told me that she felt that very few men would be "turned off" by an extremely kinky, nasty girl (sexually) - that if she was much more wild and kinky than he was, even if it were things he wasn't into, he'd still find it hot. Can a woman be too kinky?

Male subs: If a woman is into kinks that you are NOT into, but she totally respects your limits, do you find it kind of hot that she's done these things, or do you prefer to not think about it?

Do you THINK about the things your kinky lady has done, or prefer to keep them out of your head because they are "weird?"

Akasha

I think alot of people may feel that you are somehow a better Dom by virtue of your play experience and this is simply not the case. Just because you are a master at using a flogger in no way means you are a Dominant. In the case of a sub who is with a Dominant who is not as experienced, it would be a kind thing for her to do to tell the less experienced player that

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 33

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/6/2009 9:04:14 PM

penitentialarts

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/2/2009
Status: offline

I would be hard pressed to find a woman kinkier than me. If I did, by some miracle, I wouldn't feel the least bit threatened by it.

Every woman I have ever had a relationship with had more previous sexual partners than me, and that didn't bother me, either.

- Jesse

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 34

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/6/2009 9:12:10 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My exhusband was very intimidated by the fact that I had way more sexual experience than he did, and that I was experienced in BDSM. Shortly into our relaitonship, he decided that sex had to be a bore for me with hi and he started getting really self conscious about it. It got to the point where he was so self conscious and insecure about it that he just about stopped sleeping with me.

So, yeah, it can be a problem.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to penitentialarts)

Post #: 35

RE: She is way more kinky than you are. Now what? - 7/9/2009 3:34:00 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
A girlfriend of mine told me that she felt that very few men would be "turned off" by an extremely kinky, nasty girl (sexually) - that if she was much more wild and kinky than he was, even if it were things he wasn't into, he'd still find it hot.

I think this is a fair general assumption.

-OneMore for the "never met one, doubt I ever will, but she'd be welcome to give it a shot" category.

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 36

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