RE: Rudeness (Full Version)

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MistressOfGa -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:02:54 AM)

quote:

"SHE IS NOT IN CHARGE"

She may not be in charge completely, but yes she does have a certain amount of say until such time she submits to you.
quote:

"SHE DOES NOT TELL A DOMINANT THE WAY ITS GOING TO BE"


Oh yes she does. That is her right in the negotiation stage. If he doesnt like it, he can move along. But most definitely she does have the right to tell anyone how it is going to be, when it effects her life.
quote:

SHE IS NOT A DOORMAT

You got that right.




KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:04:22 AM)

Why do many Doms continue to think that subs have no needs, wants or rights? I will never understand that.



ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:11:04 AM)


Why must you be demeaning and critical? A person "ON THE ATTACK" is not submissive. You will never find what you seek!



KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:13:21 AM)

quote:

You will never find what you seek!


Perhaps you need a sub who will automatically bend to everything for you. Not every sub is like that. I will find the one who is right for me. Geez.



yourMissTress -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:15:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Why do many Doms continue to think that subs have no needs, wants or rights? I will never understand that.


I would venture a guess, that they have never had a living breathing sub that they could physically touch.

font]



Aileen68 -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:18:17 AM)

quote:

"SHE IS NOT IN CHARGE". "SHE DOES NOT DOMINATE WITH HER LANGUAGE AND ACTIONS". "SHE DOES NOT TELL A DOMINANT THE WAY ITS GOING TO BE". "SHE IS NOT A DOORMAT".


You are kidding, right?
It's the sub who chooses her Dom.
It's the sub who chooses her limits.
It's the sub who ends play when she needs to with a safeword.
To me that all equals being in charge, dominating with my language and actions
and telling you the way it's going to be.
You are able to dominate me when I allow it.
And I'm only a doormat when I choose to be.
I say this all with a smile.
Now of course this is a generalization and not applicable to all...nothing ever is.
But as far as I'm concerned, it's applicable to me.



ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:28:00 AM)

Negotiate - to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise.

I agree with and understand this protocol. However, I am not sure that "negotiation" is telling a DOM what he is going to do. It is a mutual agreement. As for myself, if a submissive has the attituted from the get go my motiviations are for her ultimate ubuse, its wrong to begin with.
She will not have to tell me to move along, I will already be gone. I do not need to beg and plead, I would rather go without. Relationships should be built on trust. No matter how many negoations are written it will never suplant trust. Hmmmm ....



IronBear -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:36:28 AM)

I guess I only look for slaves who are either already trained as kajirae or who want to and understand the Gorean protocols and requirements.... Personally, I'd rather never have another girl in a collar that go through with the bickering or negotiations... Discussions on some aspects such as BDSM Play which is not part of my lifestyle yes.. But not negotiating about their slavery.. Never.



ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:36:50 AM)

Ms. Aileen68

Actually, I believe you almost understand. You are a gift. You are absolutely right .... I can only Dominate because you freely submit.
However be sure that many of us are always aware of the potential abuse of my ladies power. When her motivation progress from submission to control my Dominance, I am really no longer Dominant. A wise Dominant recognizes this .... Therefore you may no doubt be looking for the next guy to deceive.



Aileen68 -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:43:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsTimeBendOver

Ms. Aileen68

Actually, I believe you almost understand. You are a gift. You are absolutely right .... I can only Dominate because you freely submit.
However be sure that many of us are always aware of the potential abuse of my ladies power. When her motivation progress from submission to control my Dominance, I am really no longer Dominant. A wise Dominant recognizes this .... Therefore you may no doubt be looking for the next guy to deceive.

To me it's not a gift. Submission is a natural aspect of my personality and my desire is to find the perfect compliment to it.
Once that has been achieved it becomes much easier to relinquish control to him. I have no desire to dominate. It's not me. But I do need to in the beginning in order to discover one who will allow me to be submissive in a safe and consensual manner that benefits both of us.



KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:47:02 AM)

quote:

To me it's not a gift. Submission is a natural aspect of my personality and my desire is to find the perfect compliment to it.


Thank you



ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:47:47 AM)

Your Miss Tress,

Perhaps a more positive approach is to recognize that many of we Dominants sit back and observe what other Dominants do and often question if they are Dominants. All humans male and female alike, have wants, needs, desires, fantasies, and rights. Especially those "True submissives" in our lifstyle. That is why they chose to be here. They cannot complete themselves in the Vanilla World. Do not judge all Dominates by those who may not be "True Dominants". We are here, we are aware, we are observing. And yes we have had warm, loving, breathing submissives to love and cherish.



ItsTimeBendOver -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:53:12 AM)


Aileen68,

You really do understand. I admire, and yes even love you, and know little of you. I also respect your definition. You are right, its a stool with three legs - "Trust" "Safety" "Consensus". Thank you for your Gift! :)



Aileen68 -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:55:10 AM)

Eeeekkk!



KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:55:51 AM)

quote:

Thank you for your Gift! :)


Well, Aileen, it looks like we won't be dom'ing him away from the gift thingy!

[8D]



Aileen68 -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 7:58:20 AM)

We need more practice.



KatyLied -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 8:00:24 AM)

quote:

We need more practice.


You'll never find what you are looking for with that attitude!
[:(]



Aileen68 -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 8:03:11 AM)

quote:

You'll never find what you are looking for with that attitude!

Laughs and leaves the room to go buy some Powerball tickets.



cloudboy -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 8:12:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Do Not Contact Me If...comes first.

I can see how that might be off-putting.


I think you've engaged a bit of UNDERSTATEMENT here.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Rudeness (2/17/2006 8:12:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsTimeBendOver
Aileen68,

You really do understand. I admire, and yes even love you, and know little of you. I also respect your definition. You are right, its a stool with three legs - "Trust" "Safety" "Consensus". Thank you for your Gift! :)


Oh brother <rolls eyes> I am trying very hard to not disrespect you, but how in the world can you tell someone you love them when you dont even know them, much less understand what she just typed? She said her submission is NOT a gift. The very fact that you thanked her for her Gift, is insulting to say the VERY least.

In my opinion anyone who has to use the word "Real" as in "I am a Real Dom", I distrust right off the bat. If you are a "real" dom, you certainly dont need to say it over and over.




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