RE: good way to handle a touchie matter?

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/16/2009 5:34:56 PM

opensoul

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/24/2006
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This is a very timely post. My situation is a little different. I try always to help my Master with medical issues, do to my back ground, But the tables were turned around when I needed the help. I had to go to Er for a detached rt eye retina and hated to need his help. After 12 long hours in 2 emergency rooms. He drove me to a specialist for treatment, then back home, with instructions of bedrest on my side for one week. I felt so weak and worthless as his slave, but He knew that . As a slave or a master, we take care of each other. I submit to him always, He will ask for my help and it makes me feel great! He knows my strengths and weaknesses, as well as knowing I do not think or will ever think my helping him or his helping me is a sign of weakness . He uses his slave to help him in many ways. In return he protects me and guards his slave from harm from all but his devilish needs : )

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/16/2009 6:29:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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These days I'm likely to be bossy and nag him. He's away doing a lot of physical labor and he damaged his knee a couple of weeks ago. So I remind him repeatedly to please pick up a knee brace and start doing his knee exercises so he won't need to keep using the brace.

But in the beginning what I told him was that when he was too ill, and refused to go for help, was that it hurt me too much to watch. I told him that I couldn't deal with it. He saw a doctor, got a scrip, and was a lot better in a few months. If you can't deal with her doing things like this, be honest about how it bothers you overwhelmingly. If you can deal with it, then do so. But be honest about how what she is doing is making you feel.

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/16/2009 10:14:25 PM

Succubus747

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/9/2008
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Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Looking at it from the outside, looks like you're very service oriented and need to satisfy that need. On the other hand, your Domme is very independent and doesn't need the service. Supply and demand incompatibility, firstly.

Secondly, ask yourself, "How big of a deal is this?" Is this issue bigger than the relationship or a small issue? Weigh it and then decide to: a) bring it up and discuss how much it hurts you not to help, then find a resolution or agreement or b) Dust yourself off and let it go. Be proud of your Domme for being so strong.

Finding harmony is difficult in any relationship, but never sweat the small stuff.

(in reply to justme1980)

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/17/2009 5:18:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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You misread it, Succubus. His domme does need the help, gets in worse shape physically without help and still won't accept any. So his frustration is natural.

By not asking for help or accepting any, and choosing to get in worse shape as a result, long term his respect for her decision making will suffer. Because smart people don't deliberately worsen their physical well being. The fact that she does, that she has a major flaw in being unable to allow someone who loves her to give her a hand upon occasion, and that she can't discuss it so he is now considering manipulation/passive aggressive behavior like pretending to be tired when not is not conducive to strengthening the relationship. If she can't accept the fact that she has a problem, how can he respect her thought processes.

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/17/2009 10:22:44 AM

vasha

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
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actually She is getting a lot better at letting me know now. as ive said, we've talked about it many many times, very seriously. im being more accepting, and She is being more informitive about Herself to me so i can handel it better... both emotoinally, and otherwise.

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RE: good way to handle a touchie matter? - 7/17/2009 10:24:41 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I'm glad because you having to lie to her, pretend to be tired when not, not tell her how you feel etc is not a good thing.

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Post #: 26