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RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 6:21:01 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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yes. I can relate. I might wish I was vanilla, if only I knew what vanilla was. I do wish I was normal. I wish I knew how to hate, or at least get angry enough to detest. I wish I could fall in love with ease and out of love when its over. I wish I didn't crave pain or need to release tension with torture. I wish I had not started down this path from an early age.
But if I had not I might not be who I am now. I might not have been so determined to walk my own path. I might not have learned to always look for the exits, or evaluate those around me to determine how to approach or exit. I might not have been so adept at escape, so willing to fight to the death when in danger.
If I was nilla, I would not be me.
Kyst

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 21

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 6:25:31 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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When you are struggling with your own identity and how to BE, it always seems easier to imagine being something other than what you are. It is a fallacy.

The only ease is in being who you are, really BEING you. Accepting yourself, looking honestly at all of it. Beyond the strengths to the weaknesses you do not want to see. Accepting them as part of you as much as the strengths you are proud of. Making the things you see as weakness, your own personal strength.

Prin, you think too much. Trying to reason and dominate yourself, and the you, you think you need to be. I don't know you personally at all. But I see in your words, circles. There is something you are avoiding, trying to reason around, think around, avoiding. Something you cannot see, a forest for the trees. I don't know what it is, but I see the attempts to reason, to deny, to dominate, to create in an image you feel it should be, rather than what it is. Why, I have no idea. No more so than the what. But it is there I am sure. Your intelligence, your mind, it is getting in your way, causing you to get in your own way. It is stopping you from having the relationship you want, and it will, always. Until you get out of your own way.

You will have to find a way to alter what you believe should be, and allow what is, to shine through. To just be quiet, and BE.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 22

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 6:30:18 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Wish I was vanilla. It would be, would have been and could be so much simpler.
Thoughts....

My thoughts? Utter BS, pure and simple. I've had some horrible "vanilla" relationships. This one (my first D/s or M/s one) is bliss. Life has never BEEN "simpler" or better........luci

I'm really happy for you.

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(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 23

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 6:44:59 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Wish I was vanilla. It would be, would have been and could be so much simpler.
Thoughts....

I tried vanilla. It didn't work. It just doesn't suit me.

It was an incredible waste of my time and energy, trying to fit into that box. My vanilla partner just didn't understand about me, predictably.

D/s is my thang. I'm lovin' it.

I have identified this way from the time I was a tiny, lil' girl. Its just the way I am. Its the way I need to be, to be me.

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 24

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 6:47:48 PM

Prinsexx

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You will have to find a way to alter what you believe should be, and allow what is, to shine through. To just be quiet, and BE.

You actually know me really well.
Have mailed.
Prin x

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To my stalker:
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(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 25

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 7:01:29 PM

SmokeSerpent

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/19/2009
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If life were easy what would we have to talk about in a place like this?

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 26

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 7:57:24 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Being Vanilla or not makes little difference in how easy or not so easy my life is.

Does not make anything I'm going through right now any simpler.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 27

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 7:59:17 PM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
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Life is not easy. None of it.

Me, I tried very hard to fit into the box. I had an eating disorder that I'm still unpicking the remnants of a decade later for my troubles. But you know, you just can't make a size eight foot go into a size four shoe. I'm a lot happier now that I'm wearing the right life, on very many levels. Light and peace to all.

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(in reply to SmokeSerpent)

Post #: 28

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 8:20:20 PM

vasha

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Wish I was vanilla. It would be, would have been and could be so much simpler.
Thoughts....

Noooooot me! im very happy what and how i am. its more fullfilling then vanillia ever dreamed of being.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 29

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/8/2009 9:35:54 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Not me. Vanilla is boring. I am happy to be a slave to dominant women. It's very exciting.

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 30

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 12:19:47 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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I am of the opinion that however anybody lives their life, sooner of later we all have to compromise, because nobody can ever have it all exactly how they want it all the time.
But if one realises this and can handle it...then in a way, they do have it all...

live is simple only if you are very flexible and slippery

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 31

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 12:24:01 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch

Life is not easy. None of it.

Me, I tried very hard to fit into the box. I had an eating disorder that I'm still unpicking the remnants of a decade later for my troubles. But you know, you just can't make a size eight foot go into a size four shoe. I'm a lot happier now that I'm wearing the right life, on very many levels. Light and peace to all.

Great metaphore.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
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(in reply to AlexandraLynch)

Post #: 32

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 12:39:40 AM

Whenready

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Joined: 3/5/2009
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Quote: Wish I was vanilla. It would be, would have been and could be so much simpler. Thoughts....

La Tigresse has I think hit it spot on. The grass isn't greener on the other side. You've been on the other side, and where was the grass greener then?

What if anything makes vanilla easier? Turning away from what you are can I think only be justified if there is something else more important. For many, that might be kids. I'd like to do this - but I have to do that. But this isn't about kids. It's about you. Vanilla is different, not simpler. It might have been simpler; equally it might have been so much more complex. You're a bright woman. Look at all those vanilla folk you know. How many of them are living simple, easy, happy lives?

Like La Tigresse said, be you. Being you is living life at its most complex, and its simplest. Be you - no one else can be. Bonne chance!

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 33

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 1:09:07 AM

ThatDaveGuy69

Posts: 978
Joined: 6/22/2007
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Here's something a teacher I had when I was in 6th grade once told me:

You will never get rid of your problems - all you can do is trade them for new ones.

Now granted, some problems are easier/better/more enjoyable than others. For example, I would (I think) prefer having the problems that come from winning the next Power Ball, rather than the problems of facing Chapter 7.

~Dave

(in reply to Whenready)

Post #: 34

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 2:18:14 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Quote: Wish I was vanilla. It would be, would have been and could be so much simpler. Thoughts....

La Tigresse has I think hit it spot on. The grass isn't greener on the other side. You've been on the other side, and where was the grass greener then?

No it just needed mowing.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Whenready)

Post #: 35

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 2:42:09 AM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
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Well I trust you did it properly, and got the stripes straight too...

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 36

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 4:21:03 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You will have to find a way to alter what you believe should be, and allow what is, to shine through. To just be quiet, and BE.

Such a simple thing.......and yet, when you aren't *there* it looks SO out of reach.

It's funny that you can recognise when someone ELSE is *there* and still not know how to, and not see how THEY did.

People that are comfortable in their own skins, people that have reconciled all the important *things that matter* in their lives....Nothing they say can help YOU *just be*............And then, one day, you may find you're *just being*.......and you suddenly get it. Many of the *if only/what if's* drop away and you're left with...* I am*.

For myself.........I stopped trying to work things out, stopped thinking about the *would have/could have/should have*...stopped justifying, stopped bending, contorting, comparing, stopped looking inwards TOO much and started looking outwards more....stopped thinking about what *could be* and accepted *what is*.

So no, I AM vanilla and I AM in a D/s relationship........but it's the WHO I'm with, not the WHAT.......with the right person I would still have adventures. I don't need D/s or bdsm, in and of itself, I just need someone that understands and accepts me.

agirl

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 37

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 5:30:27 AM

SlyStone

Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

quote:

But what I mean is: is it possible to go back and settle for a relationship without the power exchange, habing once experienced that or needed that?

You know "settle" is an interesting word. It can mean to come to rest and be comfortable, or it can mean to compromise and become less then. And the irony is that for some people those two states forever appear to be one and the same.

_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 38

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 5:45:09 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
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Throughout my life I have run across people who were married wishing they were not, those who were single wishing they were not, those who were vanilla wishing they were not, those who were kink wishing they were not, those who are always living in the future wishing for anything but what they have today. It never occured to them that the future brings what they are having in the present-wishing.

Life is not easy and relationships is high on the list of challenges. I been married 29 years vanilla and been in a Ds relationship for 3. Looking back, without words like BDSM in my vocabulary or D/s, I have realized my marriage was structured as Ds minus the BDSM. What hubby wanted hubby got and he did look after my needs. He was an excellent dominating personality that knew how to control without pounding his chest and saying i am the man.

I am single today and living alone. I am not spending my days wishing for this or that in the future. Wishing is a good thing, but not at the cost of not enjoying your present moment. I wish for the same amount of happiness tomorrow as i am having today. I am glad i am just me.

oceanwinds

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to SlyStone)

Post #: 39

RE: Wish i was vanilla - 7/9/2009 8:02:13 AM

needs2beused

Posts: 22
Joined: 2/15/2006
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Thank you for that!

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 40

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