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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There a ought to be straight forward interaction and communication at all times if the relationship will last, satisfying both parties needs.

For example: if he says "bedtime" there is nothing wrong if I say I only have ten pages to find out whodunit in the new mystery I'm reading. Since for me, those ten pages will go by in 3 minutes, I always get it.

If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

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...I think simplymichael made some excellent points about having a well-rounded 24/7 dynamic.  I personally think these types of relationships must be well-rounded to survive the test of time...

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

No. I don't ascribe any degree of healthiness or unhealthiness to the decision to submit or the decision of whom to submit to. That status is present in the individual irrelevant of that decision. A heroin addict, back from hir second suicide attempt can make a decision to be submissive to someone who might just be the perfect person for hir, getting hir life back on track and instilling a new sense of self-worth. Was xhe in a healthy mindset? No.

What is "healthy" is measured by the degree to which the results properly complement the individuals uncompromised desires and wishes for happiness. Even if that means sleeping forever at the foot of the bed or getting candlelit sushi dinners every Wednesday.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Name calling and insults may work in chatrooms but this is the adult section of Collarme and if you want to engage in debate, you are going to have to step up to the plate.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

NihilusZero

You are aptly named.  When you actually want to have the intelligent discussion you are clearly capable of let me know but you aren't doing it now.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth



"Hello, I'm Merc and I represent to be in a 24/7 relationship with beth, my slave." Stipulating to being, as Michael says, "full of shit". .

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H The second is more important - all the participants have the exact definition of 24/7 as their partner.

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Come on, the quality of the people having a argument of semantics and definitions overwhelms the subject of the argument. I say you all come over to our place where the only thing that's heated is the pool. The debate is something to do between sessions in the dungeon - open 24/7

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Jeptha, I thought you explained it very well.

OP - To me, 24/7 is like being on call. Yes, Sir sleeps 8 hours a day (I sleep about 5), he works way more hours than most other people (I'm not allowed to work outside of the home), but at any time of the day or night, he can call on me to provide any sort of service he desires. Depending on logistics, it may take more or less time for that service to manifest - for example, if he calls me from Lisbon to come to his work and give him a blow job, I have to travel there from Cascais and that's just about 90 mins of travel time, but most of the time, he Skypes me, gives me whatever directive he has for me and I accomplish it in a a timely manner and to his satisfaction. If he's at home and wakes up in the middle of the night, he might bellow for me to get him something (waking me up) and I'll get it. So, yeah, on call. That works for us.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

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I want to walk to the farmers market with someone, sit at a cafe with friends and have deep meaningless conversations about the state of the world, shove her up against a brick wall and violate her, surprise her with a bubble bath, write "Michael's Hole" on her ass, when I am sick let her mommy me. In short, I want a full, rich, complex, nuanced life with a woman who is my submissive partner 24/7.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

Unless both parties happen to be fine with it being that way.

Projecting personal concepts of what would be 'problematic' onto another's relationship is problematic.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

"Hello, I'm Merc and I represent to be in a 24/7 relationship with beth, my slave." Stipulating to being, as Michael says, "full of shit". .

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Most people who talk about 24/7 are full of shit.

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The reality that most D/s couples who LIVE together long term end up with an authority dynamic that is present in some low key way, more for some, less for others but what most would see is a loving nurturing relationship that has as much to do with vanilla as D/s.  In short, it is a relationship with all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows of any real relationship.

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Then again, I do not need a weaker/lesser woman as a partner in order to feel dominant in comparison, I choose the strongest and most independent woman as my submissive partners.

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The whole "slave sleeping at the foot of the bed, kneeling when hubby comes home, walking around in some slave costume" is all hot wank fodder that I love doing for a weekend but would bore the fuck out of me as a lifestyle.

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Perhaps you need to step back and reread what I write because I think that a healthy submissive who submits from a place of strength and power rather than from neediness and weakness is a glorious thing.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Is this common for you to attack concepts you admittedly know nothing about? 

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Doesn't say much for the rest of your argument if that is the case. 

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As for the two of them, I have known for as long as they have been in the scene, long before they met, it has nothing to do with being star struck.

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And speaking of star struck, I am modest enough to use my own name, isn't Leonidas the name of a famous Greek?  Again, try and stick with attacking the actual concepts under discussion rather than vainly attempting to undermine my character.

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I think this is a much needed discussion and I look forward to an intelligent discussion about the actual topic. 

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

Unless both parties happen to be fine with it being that way.

Projecting personal concepts of what would be 'problematic' onto another's relationship is problematic.

Serious question, if you think I am being snarky, it is only because of my own inability to phrase this question

I see her saying that if protocol STRANGLES communication is it bad and yet you SEEM to hearing her insulting ALL protocol which is NOT at all what she wrote?

Am I missing something or is there a major communications disconnect going on here?

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For example: if he says "bedtime" there is nothing wrong if I say I only have ten pages to find out whodunit in the new mystery I'm reading. Since for me, those ten pages will go by in 3 minutes, I always get it.

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But, fair enough. You conveniently used the word "most" to preface your points.

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And while you attempts to act as a sieve to separate the unrealistic from the "twue" aspects of 24/7 D/s may be noble in order to enlighten newer folks that they can have normal vanilla interactions mixed with their kink.,

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it doesn't change the fact that you conveniently ignored people who can live with the "fantasy" aspects you mention with derision.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There a ought to be straight forward interaction and communication at all times if the relationship will last, satisfying both parties needs.

For example: if he says "bedtime" there is nothing wrong if I say I only have ten pages to find out whodunit in the new mystery I'm reading. Since for me, those ten pages will go by in 3 minutes, I always get it.

If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Come on, the quality of the people having a argument of semantics and definitions overwhelms the subject of the argument. I say you all come over to our place where the only thing that's heated is the pool. The debate is something to do between sessions in the dungeon - open 24/7.

Now that's 24/7
 
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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Merc, please tell me you are playing peacemaker and not reading that I said EVERYONE who says they are 24/7 are full of shit?

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Well, I find that a fab idea. So much so, I texted Master with your invite and he said 'good girl' and thinks it the best idea and instructed me to inform you that we will be on the first flight out... with a Keg of finest british beer.
Now that's 24/7

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Someone hit upon the only argument I would have with anyone representing they are in a 24/7 relationship. If you need a 'break', 'vacation', 'time-out' or whatever; you're acting. You can't act forever. You are doing something that take too much effort to expect long term success. Were that the case it indicates it is time to renegotiate the terms. One of the most unbelievable aspects of our relationship is that I've been it it 6 1/2 years - 6 1/2 YEARS! It seems like 6 1/2 minutes, and its as fresh and exciting as it was in the first 6 1/2 seconds. We hate any 'time-outs' we're forced to experience when one of us has to go out of town without the other. Hell, it's just as bad when I have to leave in the morning for work; and people who witnessed it say our nightly greeting when I come home is just "disgusting" to see such gratuitous affection (and nudity) being exchanged.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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For example: if he says "bedtime" there is nothing wrong if I say I only have ten pages to find out whodunit in the new mystery I'm reading. Since for me, those ten pages will go by in 3 minutes, I always get it.

...which seemed to suggest that a D-type who, in this situation, would not permit those extra 3 minutes (or a dynamic where that strictness is expected) is naturally "bad". My reply, then, was just to point out that such is an example of something the partners themselves as free to choose.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Come on, the quality of the people having a argument of semantics and definitions overwhelms the subject of the argument. I say you all come over to our place where the only thing that's heated is the pool. The debate is something to do between sessions in the dungeon - open 24/7.

Well, I find that a fab idea.  So much so, I texted Master with your invite and he said 'good girl' and thinks it the best idea and instructed me to inform you that we will be on the first flight out...  with a Keg of finest british beer.
Now that's 24/7
 
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I think you just don't translate well in the written form. You need to be up-close and personal.