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ORIGINAL: Bluegod

Hi everyone...i am brand new to this lifestyle and naturally I have much to learn. When people talk about being in a 24/7 - d/s relationship, is there any room there for a straight forward normal interaction at any point in between (say for practical purposes) or is that distinction kept right throughout? Thanks in advance for indulging my ignorance. :)

Blue

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

ah, so the reason you come across as completely disrespectful and insulting to people who live in dynamics contrary to what you personally desire,

Actually, the people I am closest to on this board, MercnBeth, Knight of Mists, Leadership527 all have dynamics VERY different from mine.

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is because, unless they are people you have met and known face to face over an extended period of time, you doubt that they exist?

Uh, to some extent yeah, just like I don't think all the 18 year old blond hotties from Guyana really want to be my slave or that all the little lesbian chicks are really lesbian chicks.   And it is kind of amusing since you spend a lot of your time posting about how others aren't as true/natural or as submissive as you are.   So forgive me if I tend to think of you sprinkled with pixie dust.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: Leonidas


To be "24/7 D/s" means that one is always dominant, and the other is always submissive.  That can be just as "straightforward" and "normal" a way to interact with one another as any other way if it is how you naturally relate to and interact with one another.

So when your wife pays for your boat, you are still somehow "always dominant"?  Sorry but I think the concept of someone "always" being anything is an unhealthy myth  and one that lacks nuance of what "dominance" is and that it perpetuates a two dimensional view of humanity that is more suited to some silly fictional book than the reality of how humans operate in the real world.   Then again, I do not need a weaker/lesser woman as a partner in order to feel dominant in comparison, I choose the strongest and most independent woman as my submissive partners. 

I think also it is a bad stereotype to push as "always dominant" implies that we always have an opinion or order around any given situation.  I once had a slave who chose what I ate for me.  Why?  Because I got tired of liking what she ordered more than whatever I had chosen.  Some days I come home and I am tired and I don't want to decide what is for dinner, what she should wear, or what to do for the evening.  It doesn't mean I am submitting to her will, it means I chose wisely in a partner and know that her likes and dislikes please me.   There are days I want her to initiate sex, to bring some hot fantasy to me, that isn't because I want to submit to her desires or that she is topping from the bottom but because it turns me the fuck on.

The whole "slave sleeping at the foot of the bed, kneeling when hubby comes home, walking around in some slave costume" is all hot wank fodder that I love doing for a weekend but would bore the fuck out of me as a lifestyle.  I want to walk to the farmers market with someone, sit at a cafe with friends and have deep meaningless conversations about the state of the world, shove her up against a brick wall and violate her, surprise her with a bubble bath, write "Michael's Hole" on her ass, when I am sick let her mommy me.  In short, I want a full, rich, complex, nuanced life with a woman who is my submissive partner 24/7.

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ORIGINAL: agirl

I considered Leonidas to mean *always in authority * and the sub *always submitted TO that authority* . That seemed clear, to me, at least. And that is certainly not an unhealthy myth. What's wrong with *always dominant*.......doesn't it mean *always the dominant party inside a relationship*?..That also is not an unhealthy myth.

Having someone choose your food for you, because that's what you prefer, seems pretty much the same thing. The same as NOT choosing what's for dinner , or what she wears...... that's what you have decided. I don't see any connection in that, to the comment about whether it's you submitting to her will........unless she's expressed that SHE has decided that SHE will cook what SHE wants for dinner and will wear what SHE wants, regardless of your preference. Everything in that paragraph is about what YOU want, surely?...

The same with the second paragraph.

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You seem to present sleeping at the foot of the bed, or walking around dressed in some particular way, or kneeling when dominant chappie comes home  as some sort of limited lifestyle of it's own, whereas it's more usually likely to be part of a whole *life* just as sex is, just as conversations are , just as walking to the market is.

It just came across as a sort of *either/or*.

agirl

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[paraphrased[ sleeping at the foot of the bed, or walking around dressed in some particular way, or kneeling when dominant chappie comes home [can] be part of a whole *life* just as sex is, just as conversations are , just as walking to the market is.

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If your relationship is set up so protocol strangles any ability to talk and get your needs met, then the problem is not in the protocol but the person who set it up like this.

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The reality that most D/s couples who LIVE together long term end up with an authority dynamic that is [ALWAYS] present in some low key way, more [AUTHORITY] for some, less for others but what most would see is a loving nurturing relationship that has as much to do with vanilla [WALKING TO THE FARMS MARKET]as D/s.  In short, it is a relationship with all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows of any real relationship.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I rail against the myths ABOUT  24/7, not that it exists.  Hell, I want a 24/7 D/s relationship!   The reason I rail against what I see as harmful myths is that I tried to live them when I first started doing this and I tore the heart out of a woman I loved deeply, over the years I have watched others go through the same crap, daily we see it transpire on the boards.

The pain we see daily usually has two sources, both of which overlap, bad relationships skills and trying to live up to some myth of what 24/7 and or D/s is about.

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ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

My Point is many people who struggle with the idea of 24/7 are people who are looking for a definition so Finite that it becomes them Living a Concept rather than a Realistic Situation.

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ORIGINAL: MsValentine

I agree with SimplyMichael that there are some really ridiculous myths about 24/7 floating about. I am often asked if I chain my sub to the radiator all day or if he is my total possession, how come he goes out to work, or is he allowed to sleep in my bed, or all kinds of stuff which seem odd to me. That is not what we are about.

• The particular acts seem "odd" to you?
  
• The particular acts would not fit nicely into a dynamic most folks would want?

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ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

You say you rally against 24/7 because you tried it and you ended up hurting someone and then you noticed it happeneing around you alot and figured it was the nature of the concept.

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Dominance isn't always about rigid order, no matter how often you hear about the Rules and the Punishments and the LAW of DOMINANCE.

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To make it simple. I have been given control over andi in the understanding that both our needs and desires will be met, if andi did not believe I would meet her needs and give her what she has been longing for why would she surrender such will to me? That being said there are times in which I must balance my desires and hers otherwise I am left with a miserable girl and her misery will certainly make anything I desire taste bitter and wrong.

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Because of the in my opinion the key to doing this 24/7 is to have realistic expectations and also to KNOW YOUR PARTNERS LIMITATIONS.

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ORIGINAL: flogger

Good thread to rant, to me 24/7 means to live together and share equally what ever is agreed or something like that .

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
quote] The reality that most D/s couples who LIVE together long term end up with an authority dynamic that is present in some low key way, more for some, less for others but what most would see is a loving nurturing relationship that has as much to do with vanilla as D/s.  In short, it is a relationship with all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows of any real relationship ... Read what I wrote again, I said "most" not "everybody" and in my world that holds true. My dear friends were the international Master/slave couple for 2008 and his submissive partner is more dominant than most dominants but is fully his slave. My dear friend Leadership527 has been married almost two decades and would agree with my opinion.

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is there any room there for a straight forward normal interaction at any point in between (say for practical purposes) or is that distinction kept right throughout?