RE: fetlife

RE: fetlife (Full Version)

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playfulotter -> RE: fetlife (7/9/2009 9:56:26 PM)
I joined months ago but really didn't get much out of it.....

playfulotter -> RE: fetlife (7/9/2009 9:58:01 PM)
I agree Prinsexx..i couldn't get into it.....

Danibelle -> RE: fetlife (7/9/2009 11:32:11 PM)
I'm on both. Same username. I like Fet a bit better because it better allows me to express myself. I like that I can post a pic without being attacked by mail. I like that I can choose more than just domme, switch, sub, slave. I like that I can link to my boyfriend's page. I like the pictures on Fet. I like the way it's pretty easy to find events. I still like CM for finding people as it is more of a personals site than a networking site.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 12:37:43 AM)
I really like Fetlife for the social aspect. On CM, back when I had a purely social "seeking friends" profile, I received endless ugly, demanding, sexually explicit emails. I continually rewrote my profile to be less and less open and friendly, trying to deter the assholes who bombarded me weekly. I finally decided that I didn't like how angry and unwelcoming I ended up sounding. And feeling. So I closed that profile and don't use it any more. The search function on CM both helps and hurts people. It may help people find partners, but it also makes women feel stalked in an incredibly creepy way because most of the people who use that search function are doing it with one hand and no manners. Fetlife doesn't have such a function, and to date I have not received any inappropriate solicitations at my open, friendly, fun and sociable profile over there. Not one. Huge, huge difference. That isn't to say that CM doesn't have positive uses for the BDSM community. It does. But as long as it has the search function that Fetlife deliberately does not have, guys are going to use it as a shallow meat market, and a lot of them are going to do it in a rude and ugly way. If you can deal with that, then the site still works. If the endless bombardment wears you down and makes you grumpy and cynical to the point that it's affecting how you look at any man who approaches you, then you probably will not be comfortable on a site that has a member search function.

nevergrowdup -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 12:42:23 AM)
Ditto to what everyone else has said. There are just too many group in FetLife, and it's very hard to read/track interesting threads. Perhaps if I could settle down in a few good groups I'd think otherwise. I know the gold is out there, but the process of sifting through the the silt just doesn't seem worth it.

SassySarijane -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 7:49:11 AM)
I'm on Fetlife as well, same username there as here. I like it there. I use CM for the message boards only (and friends not on Fet). Fetlife is my friends and certain groups and being able to find more events to possibly attend. Each site has its good and bad points. I just find enough good in each to stay on each.

beargonewild -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 8:05:25 AM)
Many of my friends here are also on Fetlife and I also have an account there. Granted in the past, there was a filtering agent here which did censor the mentioning of the word Fetlife. It was a minor annoyance which never bothered me.....that was a windmill which isn't worthwhile arguing about. I find on FT, the degree of comaderie I have with others is quite less theh I have here. Each has it's own uses to suit my moods.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 8:47:06 AM)
I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives. What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move. Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there. It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz. If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship. Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management. It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not. Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 8:51:01 AM)
I like Fet for the local lists, it's a good way of networking for events. Otherwise, the layout annoys me, and it's hard (for me) to keep up with groups and find new ones. The more opportunities for conversation the better, IMO.

LaTigresse -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 8:59:10 AM)
Like others, I joined, found it lacking, and rarely visit.

curiousINct -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 9:03:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives. What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move. Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there. It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz. If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship. Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management. It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not. Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole. Filters are common on sites as big as this. The high road was taken by removing it. I'm at fet also, but prefer the layout here.

DemonKia -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 9:33:08 AM)
FR, after read thru I find CM to be much more user-friendly, which, I suspect, is part of why it's so popular with clueless n00bs, scammers, spammers, & wham-bam-thank-you-ma'amers . .... . FL is nowhere near as user-friendly, & I do not receive hardly any come-ons from anyone thru my profile there . .... The diversity of choices in labeling self, fetish / BDSM interests, & conversational groupings is vast on FL, but the limitations of how the site works really interfere with my participation there . . . .

IronBear -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 9:43:51 AM)
I have a lot of friends both here and on FetLife many of which belong to both sites. Foe me same name as here. I find both sites equally useful and enjoyable.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 9:45:37 AM)
I'm on both sites under the same username. I prefer the layout here, but I like fetlife for the local information they have. They DO have searches by city & I have used it a couple times in the past, but I don't now since I'm collared. I forget how it works though.

Prinsexx -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:00:17 AM)
I've been over to fet again...like Informed Consent I just find it cumbersome.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:03:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: curiousINct Filters are common on sites as big as this. Now if there was a legitimate site management issue that necessitated creating that filter in the first place - say, some overenthusiastic individual from Fetlife who decided to misuse/spam CM to promote FL - that's something that folks should know about so they don't think undeservedly bad things about CM. If there was no abuse and the action was taken pre-emptively as an "anti competition" move, that's something the community is going to feel differently about. And that does appear to be what people believe at the moment. If it is not true, I think it is well worth clarifying for a more positive outcome. quote: The high road was taken by removing it. I agree, but why was it there in the first place?

BeachMystress -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:07:06 AM)
I'm on FetLife (same username) and enjoy it. I love being able to post my explicit play photos without censorship and being able to browse profiles without being trolled in return! But then again, I'm not looking to hook up with anyone. CM now is a "community site," but they started out as a BDSM Personals site and the layout is designed for such. Fet was designed from a social network concept and does not offer ease of finding people near you. Instead, they make it easy to track the groups you belong to, the threads you are following and what your friends are doing. And as I know the majority of the people on my FetLife friends list in real life, it's fun to see the updates to their writings, photos and group posts when I log in. While the FetLife format is not cookie cutter, I found it took me all of about ten mins to figure out where things were located. The main page has links and tabs to all the sections as well as the access to your own profile and mail. And I too have, in the past, gotten the "prohibited website" message when mentioning FetLife in CM mail. While it seems to be gone, it certainly did exist at one time.

beargonewild -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:07:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives. What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move. Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there. It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz. If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship. Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management. It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not. Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole. I quite agree on the whole contempt issue between several members on here who migrated over. The sad part is a few who rant and rave over there are the same ones who while posting here will rant and rave the others who are labeled whiners. I just have to shake my head at the apparent idiocy! I guess that I have the POV that both can work along side each other and not have this friction which seems to be in the way.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:19:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beargonewild I quite agree on the whole contempt issue between several members on here who migrated over. The sad part is a few who rant and rave over there are the same ones who while posting here will rant and rave the others who are labeled whiners. I just have to shake my head at the apparent idiocy! I guess that I have the POV that both can work along side each other and not have this friction which seems to be in the way. The unfortunate part is that it's not just the whiners. A lot of good and decent people have their buttons seriously pushed by censorship issues, and they feel angry and outraged, and contempt for the cowardly censors, when they come across any example of censorship which they do not consider to be practically or ethically justified. I would definitely be in this group. I am a strong proponent of free speech and have nothing but contempt for unjustified censorship. I do fully understand the practical issues of moderating a site so that it remains usable, eg, not overrun with Nigerian spammers or trolls. If the original reason for censoring the word "fetlife" was that somebody from there was spamming over here, I am in sympathy with a practical and reasonable site management decision. If that was not the reason, then my opinion of such an act should, I trust, be quite clear.

Prinsexx -> RE: fetlife (7/10/2009 10:47:40 AM)
STILL haven't figured out how to find a thread or post (where's the word post OR thread on the home page?). I'm not much interested in groups either as i only play privately. I can be anywhere in the UK in an hour's flight or maxi mum three hours drive and anywhere in europe maximum thrre hours flight. Maybe it's distance that makes US want to hook into groups?

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