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RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 2:53:15 PM   
LyraLaLaurie


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		I am on fetlife and I think it has some of the best BDSM writing/discussions and very specific groups for different fetishes, types of play, etc. I really enjoy posting and reading there. Unfortunately 99% of the people who've contacted me aren't from anywhere near my area and I've met no one through it I've met in real life, or called a friend :( Well, it makes good reading...

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 3:58:40 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I enjoy the forums here, and go there to see a number of friends that are  no longer around CM.

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(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 5:18:37 PM   
nevergrowdup


Posts: 86
Joined: 12/1/2007
Status: offline 		You know, no one has mentioned the BDSM forum on Literotica.  I don't go there often, but when I do, I tend to learn a lot.  And it seems like the community there is very supportive.  Most seem to be female subs.  Wonder if that says something.  

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 5:23:35 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevergrowdup

You know, no one has mentioned the BDSM forum on Literotica.  I don't go there often, but when I do, I tend to learn a lot.  And it seems like the community there is very supportive.  Most seem to be female subs.  Wonder if that says something.  


Yes, that says that the D-types are having the s-types write lots of wank material.... do I? do I dare hit "OK" and post this. What the hell, I don't want to go through my life wishing I had done something *snortage* and not. weeeeeee


ETA: My SIR excluded of course

< Message edited by girlygurl -- 7/10/2009 5:35:52 PM >

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(in reply to nevergrowdup)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 8:15:17 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		*snort* 

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 9:24:46 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I don't know the reason for the imposition of the spam filter, nor its removal, nor how many url's were blocked (just fetlife, or more), but it seems to me that XI has made a clear statement on this thread.


Not in regards to the reason for why the filter was put up in the first place, which is the primary point of concern that I have seen expressed.

Again, if it was a direct response to spam, system abuse or cybervandalism, I think any reasonable human being should understand that filtering spam is a normal and practical site management decision.  If a statement was made to that effect, I suspect it would go a long way towards shutting up the detractors.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 9:13:12 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevergrowdup

You know, no one has mentioned the BDSM forum on Literotica.  I don't go there often, but when I do, I tend to learn a lot.  And it seems like the community there is very supportive.  Most seem to be female subs.  Wonder if that says something.  


It also strongly implies that male subs are non supportive, insensitive assholes?


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(in reply to nevergrowdup)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 10:19:08 AM   
dodedo


Posts: 48
Joined: 11/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm on both sites, and I like both sites.

I like the forum layout here, but I don't dislike that I can follow what my friends are doing and saying on Fetlife easily.

This site is better for the type of browsing that I'm in the mood for today, for instance.  Looking for subjects easily organized that interest ME.  But on Fetlife, I like watching the comments my friends post, the things they see.  I like seeing the pictures that they notice.

On CollarMe, I like seeing the random pictures that come up when I look at them.  I like the search feature of profiles on CollarMe, and the easy way to find people in my area.

On Fetlife, I like that I can list myself as a BOTTOM and not a "submissive" which clears a lot of stuff up for people.  I like that I can list who I'm dating and link to their profile.

I like both sites and although I have belonged to Fetlife for a year now, I haven't stopped coming to CollarMe just as regularly for different reasons.

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 5:02:39 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I am with Dodedo -

Plus...on CM the moderators became cumbersome in their moderation and censorship of opinions and ideas.

The moderators here have made it pretty clear that they do not care about people who complain about issues involved in this site. I and many other have been told we can take a hike if we do not like how we are treated and censored.

We did- and, we are all on Fetlife.

There, if you do not like the moderation in a group, you can form your own to moderate... If a moderator tells you "screw you" or has taken a personal disliking to you for an opinion which was contrary to theirs and decided you were not worth bothering about (despite the fact that we are the customers on the site), you can leave the individual group.

As you know- if you are upset - there are always more who have been disrespected in the same way.

I know a few people who have entirely stopped coming here and moved to Fetlife, formed their own groups and have had great luck finding intelligent and (when it is allowed in whatevergroupitis, even) heated discussions that allow everyone to express themselves like adults - rather than common censorship and denigration for the expression of opinions.

Plus - if someone expresses an opinion and IS a moderator, you know that... they are not hiding behind some anonymous moniker and using a position as a cudgel (for very long -as groups do die fairly ignominious deaths over there for such heavy handed silliness).

I like it being there.

And, Mod Eleven... You have your own thread!!

~J


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(in reply to dodedo)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 5:16:51 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		The thing that I don't like about F.L. are the threads in which the focus is trashing CM.

Not so much that people are trashing it or the mods, but that some of the same people who claim to not be here that much anymore because "CM has gone way down hill" or they feel picked on by the mods here, but that many of those people really haven't left the ship. It seems hypocritical to me and a bit tainted with mob mentality.

The solution was easy: I don't read them anymore.

I do like the autonomy of the way groups are structured as well as the options available for setting up a profile.

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(in reply to LordODiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 6:16:59 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		have a profile there... enjoy the networking and profiles on fet life much more than on CM. However, I much prefer the Discussion forms format on CM much better than on Fetlife. Each have their pros and cons.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kinkylatinmaster)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: fetlife - 7/11/2009 7:09:22 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		I am on both sites and like them both.  I do have a different screen name there...gida

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Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
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(in reply to kinkylatinmaster)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: fetlife - 7/17/2009 10:02:54 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		I just joined FL under the same name. So far it's okay...I like the specific groups that adress certain kinks much more than CM...but I really like the philosophical messages/questions posted on the CM boards.

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: fetlife - 7/17/2009 12:42:23 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I'm in both places.  I like being able to see what my "friends" (on my list) are posting, and updates of what's going on with them (it shows on my home screen).  I think there is more to choose from, re: groups/forums to post to, but I've seen much more diverse and "less fluffy" discussions on CM.

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(in reply to Goddess2002)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: fetlife - 7/18/2009 8:00:05 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		meh. fetlife. Looked around. Impossible to search for others so makes it almost useless as a personals site. As far as I and, I expect ,other singles are concerned that's a big strke against it.

The tiny little groups with each group owner the king and ultimate dictator/censor thing has been done to death online over the decades. It generally results in far more small-minded and personally vindicative censorship, witchhunts, and unfair treatment, and stifling of free thought than does a large moderated forum, so independent thought and expression of interesting ideas are very stifled in such places. In a small, tightly enclosed space, the air is close and stale, it's hard to breath. Plus there's a huge, as in close to the size of the moon, amount of ignorance and misinformation being bandied about in such groups. I read a few that covered interests or fetishes of my own pretty carefully and found my jaw dropping in astomishment more than once. I read some of the clique groups too, the exiles from this place, that place, and the other place. I found the poltiics ugly and personally distateful. Finally, small groups each run by their little king or queen or tribunal start out with a vision of utopia but quickly become cliquish, toadying, brown-nosing stinking dens of personal politics all too often. People play out their personal "issues" far more frequently in such places, because often the king or queen of the group is an "enabler" of the emotional illnesses that most entertain them. Think of everything you hate about collarme chatrooms (or hated about yahoo chatrooms before they closed and all the exiles ran bleating to places like collarme). That's fetlife discussion groups in a nutshell. All of that drama supresses individual expression (the only expressions allowed without disapproval re those that fit in with the usually quite narrow group ethos or those made by people who are "royal favorites") and free exchange ideas. No, I haven't any personal experiences with these groups giving me an axe to grind. I intend to steer well clear of them, in fact. I've just seen that particular online social pattern repated over and over and over so many times, and it always results in the same ugly messes. Not feeling particularly bitter or cynical, and I don't have any special love of collarme, it's just... the fetlife small-insular-group-politics thing is old, old, old. And it doesn't work for those who want to expand or learn, it just lets people feel even more smug and insular and not fix minds that badly need an oil change. (shrug) But what do I know?

Kewl graphical design. the black background is easy on the eyes and the fonts are modern. Still, I'll take a blaring white background any day if the foreground has meaningful content.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: fetlife - 7/18/2009 8:08:44 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevergrowdup

You know, no one has mentioned the BDSM forum on Literotica.  I don't go there often, but when I do, I tend to learn a lot.  And it seems like the community there is very supportive.  Most seem to be female subs.  Wonder if that says something.  


That forum goes through phases. Three or four years ago there were a few very vocal (and quite funny!) male sub posters there keeping things lively. :)

I think someone in this thread mentioned that forum's tendency to have 10-12-year-old threads that people keep posting to, no matter how old they get? It's a nice feature, you get a sense of the history of the place and the changes its been through by reading those behemoths.

(in reply to nevergrowdup)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: fetlife - 7/18/2009 10:33:57 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Not in regards to the reason for why the filter was put up in the first place, which is the primary point of concern that I have seen expressed.  Again, if it was a direct response to spam, system abuse or cybervandalism, I think any reasonable human being should understand that filtering spam is a normal and practical site management decision.  If a statement was made to that effect, I suspect it would go a long way towards shutting up the detractors.



I asked way back when, and that was exactly the reason.  The spam reports shot up thru the roof, and the direct reason for the increase was some disgruntled types spamming with messages to leave CM and join fet.  If the people being spammed weren't complaining and reporting, then the filter wouldn't have been necessary.  In other words, it was USER driven, not management driven.

What I find amusing is people still complaining about things here that are no longer true (the fet filter being one).  And people are STILL complaining about not being able to put up the pics they want?  Since it's been at least three weeks since that changed, I thought everybody had switched over to complaining about seeing dick pics pop up on the main profile page. 

Cali


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(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 77
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