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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 12:09:22 AM

Sunnyfey

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and snot and blood and tears all running down your face :D

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 12:11:53 AM

LadyPact

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Maybe not the snot so much, but the blood and tears?

Now you're just trying to turn Me on.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 12:27:03 AM

Sunnyfey

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oh, LadyPact, one of these days darlin, you and me are gonna have some fun :P

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 12:37:53 AM

NihilusZero

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Bring it up to the members of your group. As in, discuss the topic in as passive and neutral a manner, voicing concern of their best interest and give them a chance to weigh in on the subject. Community members will always relish the chance at feeling involved and being considered part of the group...it'll make them feel personally empowered and like their individual investment into the group is important to you and your sister (the effective admin).

The difficult part will be doing numerous rough drafts as far as deciding how much information to disclose and in what sort of tone, because you want to avoid the appearance of airing dirty laundry and drenching words with bias while still making it clear you are dealing with the situation from a business standpoint (as well as a member of the community).

Try getting a rough pre-post message written up with you sister and run it by one or two of your more trusted group friends who are either not involved in the drama or as impartial as possible and have them critique it for you. Then, open up the discussion to the public and take their input into consideration as you figure out your next move(s).

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 7/10/2009 12:39:57 AM >

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 12:57:36 AM

Sunnyfey

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*nods* pretty sure thats what we are going to do at the next meeting. I just hate having to do things like this, it's like, why cant they act like adults?

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 1:05:49 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

*nods* pretty sure thats what we are going to do at the next meeting. I just hate having to do things like this, it's like, why cant they act like adults?

Just pretend you hired them to create for you the most annoying possible situation of immature undesirables in your group so you could get the experience of knowing how to deal with problems of that type currently and later on. After this is done, potentially dealing with other harassing personalities in the future will seem like a walk in the park.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 7/10/2009 1:08:10 AM >

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 1:10:41 AM

Sunnyfey

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Oh thats a good point!!!! And i can happily visualize their heads explodeing!

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 1:11:57 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

oh, LadyPact, one of these days darlin, you and me are gonna have some fun :P

I'm looking forward to it.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:02:23 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
They are throwing personal attacks into the groups, that no one but me or my Sister would understand. So i cant really prove they are being childish and drama queens.

and

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

The only thing it's doing really is, leaving my members feeling attacked.

I can't follow. If the others can't understand the attacks, why do they feel the effects?

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:08:25 AM

Sunnyfey

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My memebers feel attacked, for the fact that someone they dont know is coming into our group and telling their leaders that they are wrong, the groups of the rules are wrong, we make a mockery of what TNG is ect....

All the while adding in malicious, machivellian comments about "hypothetical" relationship values, inside situations between me and my ex ect....

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:09:17 AM

CatdeMedici

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You expect these people to behave any differently than Congress?

Maintain your dignity, end of story.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:10:53 AM

Sunnyfey

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I know Cat, I sometimes think I maybe entierly too naive

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:22:14 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

My memebers feel attacked, for the fact that someone they dont know is coming into our group and telling their leaders that they are wrong, the groups of the rules are wrong, we make a mockery of what TNG is ect....

All the while adding in malicious, machivellian comments about "hypothetical" relationship values, inside situations between me and my ex ect....

Tell them specifically which rules of conduct they're violating. If there aren't any, make reasonable ones protecting individuals (not just group leaders) from personal attacks. Tell them to shape up or get banned.

They probably won't. From what you have said, their egos are on the line that the ones who used to sub to them have succeeded where they failed.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:32:54 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

My memebers feel attacked, for the fact that someone they dont know is coming into our group and telling their leaders that they are wrong, the groups of the rules are wrong, we make a mockery of what TNG is ect....

All the while adding in malicious, machivellian comments about "hypothetical" relationship values, inside situations between me and my ex ect....

did you ever think you are showing favoritism to your ex? Ask yourself what you would do if this behavior were from someone else, then act accordingly.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 3:35:56 AM

Sunnyfey

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*ponders* You have a very good point, if it was another member I'd tell them if they dident like it, they could leave. And If there were machivellian personal attacks in the group, and one could offer proof of some fashion, or could explain the situation and why it's upsetting them I'd remove the offending member for at least a probationary time frame.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 5:48:48 AM

SnareMage85

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I was thinking more of a headbutt to the face....much more staisfiing ....in my view anyway, but I'm a little warped

Ohhhhhh what movie was that....

"No one wins with a headbutt!"

I'd say drop them. If they can't act like adults they don't belong in the group.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 6:35:46 AM

DesFIP

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Announce that because of recent improper posts, you are posting the rules required to belong to the group.
Then next time they do this again, simply email them that because they violated rule 3b (or whatever), they are banned.

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 6:39:31 AM

dreamerdreaming

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They won't go away because you're letting them stay. And because you're letting them get to you.

Stop doing one or both of those things, and voila- problem solved.

That will be five cents, please.

Next!

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 6:55:17 AM

windchymes

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Chances are, at least some of your members see it for what it is and have just not said anything. If the troublemakers are just ignored and business carries on as usual, they'll get tired of it eventually and leave. As long as you keep running things on the up-and-up as you have been, your members will respect you and understand. The ex and his partner will look like the asses, not you.

Every group has a troublemaker, so people are used to that. Like I said, they almost always get bored with their own stupidity if they don't get the desired reactions and will leave.

Also, I think if you moderate YOUR group in a professional, unbiased and unemotional manner, your members will respect you.....they expect it, actually, IMO. By NOT doing something about them, you might be calling attention to the situation. You don't have to give any explanations, don't make a big deal about it, just delete or block or ban or whatever next time it happens, and then post a generic message about how negativity will not be tolerated and then drop it. Be prepared, though, for them to make up new ID's and come roaring back in, unless you can block them at the ISP level....and even then, they can make up new ID's at different computer locations.

Good luck! (Isn't it amazing how childish some adults can be???)

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RE: Why wont they go away? - 7/10/2009 6:59:12 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I honestly just want to get on the bord and tell them to shut the fuck up, and leave us alone.

And that is exactly what they want you to do. They are throwing the bait and waiting for a bite.... don't take the bait but just continue being nice.
I had a similar thing whilst running a particular club in London. My members didn't understand why certain people seemed intent on being insulting and at times vindictive (moles from other promotions). What they did get though, is that I remained polite the whole way through, never bit back, never retaliated and that won me respect and if anything propelled my club forward.
People are not stupid. They have probably already worked out there's something underhand going on and they will be watching you for a reaction. Stay sweet and remain the popular one. Believe me it pays dividends. good luck.

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