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validation.... - 2/17/2006 10:48:57 AM   
LadyElizabeth


Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


< Message edited by LadyElizabeth -- 2/17/2006 11:18:01 AM >

_____________________________

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I do have a profile, for some reason you have to actually search my name from cm's main page. I have no idea why, that's just the way it is. lol.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 10:59:51 AM   
jimej6


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		i think every one does in one form or another we are socal animals after all. RP

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:18:22 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?


No.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:22:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Support and perspective? Absolutely, that's what friends and loved ones are all about.

Validation? No.

For many people however, the answer is yes. Just see how many posts we get on asking "I do this...does anyone else do this? I want to make sure I'm not the only one"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 12:33:41 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..


No. I've found over the years that I have very little in common with most other subs and/or slaves, and NO need to seek their advice or approval.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:07:38 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



Yes all the time in both areas. However, like L.A. states that alot want validation. "I do this...does anyone else do this? I want to make sure I'm not the only one" i do want validation but i think not to do what they say is ok or acceptable but to more use it as a way to get me to think. i think it makes me reflect on my actions more than anything. i dunno, am i making any sense here? LOL!!!

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:09:51 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		No i dont look to other subs/slaves for validation..but i know i do look to Master for it.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:10:58 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



As LA stated, for support yes, but validation...absolutly not.


_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:42:12 PM   
sweetnessforsir


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		yes for support.

yes for validation . . . . but not blindly because they are submissive. those who become supportive friends, and this is not different than the friends made on the playground in fifth grade when boys were beginning to become less yucky, they often see things clearly that i miss. i think friends generally do validate me in come way or another.

s

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 2:12:44 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

No i dont look to other subs/slaves for validation..but i know i do look to Master for it.



Me too. I have some wonderful submissive friends that I get support from and I value that more then I can say. But, validation is something I want from my Sir. I know who I am and it's his opinion that matters to me.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 2:38:55 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


I enjoy knowing that others have the same thoughts, emotions and kinks that I do, and i enjoy talking about them. Not sure if that would be considered validation or support, but it does help keep me sane.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 3:21:04 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Support for sure but validation no i don't need that from others i get that within myself.

Matt's littleone


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 4:10:36 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		ya know what i'm thinking, is maybe the ones that seek validation (not for the reasons that i do) is because they're newbies and may not have a Master or they just dont know what to do period.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 4:22:59 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

ya know what i'm thinking, is maybe the ones that seek validation (not for the reasons that i do) is because they're newbies and may not have a Master or they just dont know what to do period.


Yes, but would that not be more for acceptance.

I would think that if someone is looking for validation...then they are looking to have someone say outright 'what you are doing is right, keep on doing it', where as support would fall more in the area of 'I understand what you are doing and it's ok to keep doing it if that is what you want"

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 6:57:42 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



he has sought and he has known...
he has sought and he has known...
he found Me and now he knows...
his validation is Me and what W/we have

a submissive without a Dominant is nothing more than a person seeking--as a Dominant is nothing more without a submissive than a person seeking---to seek validation from other subs is IMHO like asking "does this make me look fat?"


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 7:55:15 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		validation?...Hell, I'm looking for consumation...stop confusing me.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 9:47:11 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:


Newbie




Posts: 53
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


Hummmm...I am starting to want to bargain for 10%.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:34:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		No. i turn to a couple very close friends to bounce thoughts and feelings off of from time to time. It helps me process.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: validation.... - 2/18/2006 2:27:07 AM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


in reply LadyElizabeth, there appears to be a variety of opinion. Maybe it's nice to know that we can all be individuals, but when we associate with others, at a munch or a play party, there is a sense of belonging. As one other girl posted, she gets her validation from her Master, and surely that is all that matters. I know I enjoy the companionship and friendship of others, locally, but I do not seek their approval or validation. Just merely acceptance and reciprocated friendship.

I am wondering why you asked this question.

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 19
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