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PeonForHer -> RE: They need to keep their stupid "gifts" (7/18/2009 6:45:43 PM)
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quote:
TheLadyIsADommeORIGINAL: I am glad you mentioned this, because I wanted to bring it up as a slightly different part of the same topic. What about when you are meeting someone for the first time, for a meal, let's say. Do you let the sub pay? Do you split the check? Or do you pay? Would you consider this a gift, if he paid?
Warmly,
LD
I've seen threads on this matter and for me, the short answer is that it's too easy to over-think the answer. One needs to go with one's intuition. Put another way, if you overthink how you should tie your tie, it'll go wrong, IMO.
In the vanilla world, I think most men will expect to split the bill, or they'll assume that on the first date he'll pay. I'd imagine it's not usually different in the D/s world. Me, I'm the latter - I'll pick up the tab - but I'll watch for signs that she's uneasy about it. If she gives the tiniest hint, then we'll split the bill. Or she'll pay, if that's what she really wants (a few do).
I think, from the male's point of view, that's about the best way to handle it. Correspondingly, if he's pushy about paying the entire bill himself, I'd say, be pushy back and demand that you split it.
But in the end, if he sees paying the bill as paying 'for services later', he's an arse, and you don't need to feel guilty by straightening him out or indeed ditching him outright.
All's said and done though - rule one is the best, for me: go with that intuition.
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