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RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 5:41:14 AM   
SirLost


Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline 		Well, if it was that easy to find a convenient partner in our environment without using internet, then CollarMe would be a site only for BDSM couples who had met in real time to discuss about BDSM and other things, not a place where people are seeking for their BDSM partners. I am not wrong, am I? Personally, I've got some disorders that makes it much harder for me to communicate people verbally, that's the main reason I choose online communication.

< Message edited by SirLost -- 7/27/2009 5:42:12 AM >

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 5:43:30 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i prefer talking online too, i freeze when i meet someone in person. darn self-confidence problems

_____________________________

your living nightmare

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 5:47:19 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLost

Well, if it was that easy to find a convenient partner in our environment without using internet, then CollarMe would be a site only for BDSM couples who had met in real time to discuss about BDSM and other things, not a place where people are seeking for their BDSM partners. I am not wrong, am I? Personally, I've got some disorders that makes it much harder for me to communicate people verbally, that's the main reason I choose online communication.


People seek online relationships because it's easier than actually getting out and getting to know someone. It's that fast food nation, instant gratification mentality. It has nothing to do with the actual ability of individuals to meet outside of the online medium. which is another discussion that comes in the field of psychology and sociology.

boi


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to SirLost)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 6:03:40 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

But Sir ResidentSadist the on-line master could surely suggest that his subject empties out a kitchen cupboard (dressed appropriately of course) and when said cupboard is empty and scrubbed clean she might fold herself inside it for a set period of time using an egg timer... would she not learn the same things as being locked in a cage by you?
If I had a sub, I would rather have my own kitchen cupboards cleaned out. She can clean her own kitchen on her off time.

Would you still not have the power for having her do as you suggest/order... would you not be entertained by reading her detailed report after she completed her task? 
If I wanted to read reports, I would take up teaching. I want to see the look on her face when she crawls in there with no idea when I might let her back out.

Is the idea of submitting or Dominating not always only in the mind?
Not sure what the question is here.


If you lock a real person in a real cage and she starts saying her 'safeword' would you not have to let her out?
Of course I would and thankfully I would be there in the room with her, so I could hear that safeword and not sitting at my keyboard waiting for her to email her report back to me.
 
who is the boss then?
I am



if you had a sub indeed you might be the boss if she'd let you

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 6:19:34 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I  really want ot understand the draw of Online training ?

I see so many , not all , are seeking  before meeting  they want to start  online. Is this  just a scam ? Do people really get to know someone that well online  and really meet eventually?  What is your reward for being involved in this  without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!!


quote:

I really want ot understand the draw of Online training ?

I see so many , not all , are seeking before meeting they want to start online. Is this just a scam ? Do people really get to know someone that well online and really meet eventually? What is your reward for being involved in this without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!!


open,

Yes it does work and effectively as a precursor to r/t.

CP

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 6:52:09 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I  really want ot understand the draw of Online training ?

I see so many , not all , are seeking  before meeting  they want to start  online. Is this  just a scam ? Do people really get to know someone that well online  and really meet eventually?  What is your reward for being involved in this  without meeting the other person first? I would really liek to hear others feelings and experiences on this !!!


Do you mean on line only? or beginning on line and taking it off line.

you can get to know someone on line. conversations are informative.. to a point.

BoiJen made this comment...

quote:

As for the OP, the online "relationship" is a scam. There's a reason that your body physically creates different chemicals when you physically interact with an individual as opposed to the lack of that chemical production when you're just typing away at a screen. And lets look at the stereotypes. "RT" relationships often end up with people living together or having some sort of no-n kink based intertwining. This cannot happen in "online only" relationships. Thus the actual repercussions of being an asshole aren't real. Turn off your computer and it's done. Period. Kick your partner out, crash their car, not buy groceries, end or damage the relationship in one way or another and shit happens.


I disagree with the bolded part. you can have physical reactions, no different than that phone call you may get from someone you have come to know and care about. yes, women can get wet, men can get hard, the physical draw it was starts the desire to meet. without those, and other, reactions, whats the point of meeting at all? for me, no point what so ever. that doesnt mean i wont meet someone i have luke warm feelings for. not every man who made me hot on line managed to produce that came feeling off line. a rare few were able to produce those on line feelings into off line hungers, and beyond.

just because you dont "get it" "understand it" "feel it" ect, doesnt mean it wont work. it just doesnt work for you

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 6:54:49 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLost

Well, if it was that easy to find a convenient partner in our environment without using internet, then CollarMe would be a site only for BDSM couples who had met in real time to discuss about BDSM and other things, not a place where people are seeking for their BDSM partners. I am not wrong, am I? Personally, I've got some disorders that makes it much harder for me to communicate people verbally, that's the main reason I choose online communication.


People seek online relationships because it's easier than actually getting out and getting to know someone. It's that fast food nation, instant gratification mentality. It has nothing to do with the actual ability of individuals to meet outside of the online medium. which is another discussion that comes in the field of psychology and sociology.

boi



thats your view, and you are entitled too it, no matter how wrong it may be for others. i really hate generalizations like this, especially when i look around and see so many couples who started out on line and managed to keep that intact and move off line and have it survive for many, many years.


< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 7/27/2009 6:57:25 AM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 8:48:23 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I disagree with the bolded part. you can have physical reactions, no different than that phone call you may get from someone you have come to know and care about. yes, women can get wet, men can get hard, the physical draw it was starts the desire to meet. without those, and other, reactions, whats the point of meeting at all? for me, no point what so ever. that doesnt mean i wont meet someone i have luke warm feelings for. not every man who made me hot on line managed to produce that came feeling off line. a rare few were able to produce those on line feelings into off line hungers, and beyond.

just because you dont "get it" "understand it" "feel it" ect, doesnt mean it wont work. it just doesnt work for you


You can disagree with the bolded part all you want, it's physiological fact. Your brain does NOT create the same chemicals as it does for you when on the phone or online as it does when you physically interact with someone. Your brain does not create the same chemicals in your body from on the phone as it does online. It's why online is "addictive", the chemicals produced from that interaction are lacking in sustainability as opposed to the other chemicals that are produced from physical contact or actually hearing someone's voice. This is covered in two of the studies I mentioned.

I hate that because some people feel differently about something that they want to argue with proven scientific facts. There is no study contradicting the appearance the types of endorphins that occur based on the type of interaction that occurs. None. You won't find fact based, peer reviewed scientifically accepted information on it...no matter how strongly your feel that it may be wrong.

What I've stated so far as my opinion comes from understanding the physiological and psychological processes as they have been explained to me and thousands of other psychology students across the country...please feel free to argue with the facts already presented in studies that I've sited. I'd LOVE to see how well your feelings hold up to the APA and other sociological organizations who also site the lack of individuals moving toward healthy "RT relationships as a symptom of the fast food society that we live in.

Facts be damned...I feel differently!

boi


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 9:17:35 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I hate that because some people feel differently about something that they want to argue with proven scientific facts. There is no study contradicting the appearance the types of endorphins that occur based on the type of interaction that occurs. None. You won't find fact based, peer reviewed scientifically accepted information on it...no matter how strongly your feel that it may be wrong.

Thank you.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 9:30:20 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Does it really matter how different the chemicals are? if it feels good and both players have fun, then what exactly is the problem with on-line BoiJen?

I suppose the chemicals released when fucking a blow up doll are different than the chemicals released when watching a porn movie with or without 'friends' or the chemicals released when a piercing is done sexual or otherwise, or the chemicals released when beating somebody up... or being beaten up or reading a sexy novel or visiting somebodies birthday party, or the chemicals released while writing a letter to a friend about watching a sexy movie at someones birthday party and the whole evening ending with everybody beating each other up with blowup dolls which eventually got pierced.

And also real-life sexual partners can experience an addiction to each other... addiction is not by any means limited to cyber.

Also a lot of real-time sexual relations resemble a fast-food kinda pattern as far as i can see... the wham bam thank you maam type is not exactly an in depth and healthy approach for a lot of people either but then again some thrive on it... or at least like it better than nothing or maybe just for a while.

A lot of people do studies and come up with the latest reports and figures only for the whole lot to be disputed at some later date by different researchers...

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 9:38:27 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I disagree with the bolded part. you can have physical reactions, no different than that phone call you may get from someone you have come to know and care about. yes, women can get wet, men can get hard, the physical draw it was starts the desire to meet. without those, and other, reactions, whats the point of meeting at all? for me, no point what so ever. that doesnt mean i wont meet someone i have luke warm feelings for. not every man who made me hot on line managed to produce that came feeling off line. a rare few were able to produce those on line feelings into off line hungers, and beyond.

just because you dont "get it" "understand it" "feel it" ect, doesnt mean it wont work. it just doesnt work for you


You can disagree with the bolded part all you want, it's physiological fact. Your brain does NOT create the same chemicals as it does for you when on the phone or online as it does when you physically interact with someone. Your brain does not create the same chemicals in your body from on the phone as it does online. It's why online is "addictive", the chemicals produced from that interaction are lacking in sustainability as opposed to the other chemicals that are produced from physical contact or actually hearing someone's voice. This is covered in two of the studies I mentioned.

I hate that because some people feel differently about something that they want to argue with proven scientific facts. There is no study contradicting the appearance the types of endorphins that occur based on the type of interaction that occurs. None. You won't find fact based, peer reviewed scientifically accepted information on it...no matter how strongly your feel that it may be wrong.

What I've stated so far as my opinion comes from understanding the physiological and psychological processes as they have been explained to me and thousands of other psychology students across the country...please feel free to argue with the facts already presented in studies that I've sited. I'd LOVE to see how well your feelings hold up to the APA and other sociological organizations who also site the lack of individuals moving toward healthy "RT relationships as a symptom of the fast food society that we live in.

Facts be damned...I feel differently!

boi




and we all know how often sociological and psychological studies never change.. right. they are, of course, never wrong.

Freud's penis envy comes quickly to mind.

again, just because YOU dont feel any anything, doesnt mean someone else wont. again.. generalizations are silly. its like using the words... always and never. im sure you have been warned about those too.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 9:55:44 AM   
SirLost


Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline 		I think the chemicals inside the brain do matter, because they are just what controls major things like happiness, feelings, depression, etc. I wouldn't call something insignificant if it is what gives life a meaning.

Having sex with a prostitute or a blow doll can feel good, and so does spending a fantastic time with the person we love. Who would replace that fantastic time with a $30 prostitute just because they both feel good? What I mean is, the effects of biochemical reactions and which are happening are really important, the reason why I like online relationships is because its feeling is the closest thing to real life ones (yes, I have a chance to compare these).

It's true that scientific reports can be changed, discovered to be incorrect, we know the example of spinach. But this doesn't mean many scientific facts aren'y really working today, we see the miracles of engineery and medicine (and many other fields) today based on those scientific facts. The best way to deny a scientific reports is to research for a new one, which can still be found out to be incorrect.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 5:26:48 PM   
autoRelease


Posts: 69
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		I'm confused... Are we talking about with a web cam or without here?

(in reply to SirLost)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/27/2009 7:22:42 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		doesnt matter. you wont feel anything either way, according to the "experts"

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to autoRelease)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 7:33:44 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		People that are into the whole online thing, exclusive of any sort of real time, remind me of  some sort of cult follower.

Regardless of the facts, regardless of whatever proof you put in front of them, their zealousness will always override.

If it is completely satisfactory and that is all a person needs to feel they are involved in a happy D/s or M/s relationship, more power to them. I wish it was that easy for me. But it isn't. I live in a world that involves all senses and that is what I want involved in my relationships.

The reality is that they are not the same, they will never be the same. Anyone that imagines an online relationship is the same as one that involves spending actual physical time together, is fooling themself. But again, whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 9:14:18 AM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline 		Online as a starting point... why not?

Forever... may work for some, but it's not for me.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 9:49:26 AM   
lustycat


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/15/2007
Status: offline 		Hello everyone, i have read most of the reply's here. Very interesting to say the least. I can give You a personal experience with this very subject.

I met my ex-Master online. I will say this, and i know many will dissagree. Online relationships in this lifestyle are very real if YOU LET THEM. i lived with my Master online for almost two (2) years. We had a very real relationship. He was in California and i in Ohio. We were perfect together. Here is one thing that will make it or break if for an online relationship... taking it seriously. Do not ACT as if You are doing what is told. DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD! If you live this online as if it is reallife then You will get what You need of this lifestyle.

Once He and i had been together for quite a long time we moved to realtime together. That was one hell of a step for us. One we regreted greatly. i was so use to the online life and still habing control of my life here somewhat, that when He moved here and tried to help me by taking some of the burdons off of me as He should have, i didn't like it. He taught me independance because i had to learn i was raising a family by myself.

That is where our problem came in, we were perfect online, and i mean perfect. We went to real time and begged for the phone to be at our ear again. it was what we were use too.

So yes online is very real, so much can be learned from online if you let it.

rose

(in reply to wineDineNtieMe)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 1:05:31 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		LustyCat,

Thank you for proving my point.

In Leather,
MsKitty's boi, Jen


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to lustycat)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 1:13:52 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		Real life or online(going to reallife). The last years as see both as much succeed as fail.
I like a hug instead of a sad face online..but sometimes you fall in love or just like soemone..and you do what feels good aslong as it works.
No garantees in life

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Explain to me online training ? - 7/28/2009 1:46:07 PM   
lustycat


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/15/2007
Status: offline 		smiles, i do agree they are different. very much different. When we were online it was almost like being real time. We used our webcams, voice on the computer, phones, and our messengers. We used as many tools as possible to be as close as possible.

I remember after we physically were together and we were in a play session i was frustrated because my body did not react with the same feelings as it use too. I made the comment that he needed to go in the other room and we could turn our webcams on and have a session with the phone. It was better that way.

So i totally agree online in some ways can be so much more intense and more of a connection than real life ever could be due to the communication is all you have with each other. You find when you are physically together, You really dont have to talk much anymore. That is what destroys a relationship, no communication, no life together.

rose

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 40
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