Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis

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MHOO314 -> Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 4:50:06 AM)
Eons ago when I became avowed in this life--I often cringed at the thought of sadism. for it carried connotations of kittens in plastic bags--but as the life progressed, sadism took on different meanings (of course to each his own definition, but for the sake of the thread bear with Me)---and let's be honest, to chain someone down, ties his balls to the ceiling fan and whip his chest--takes a certain amount of sadism---<smiles>--( I love messing with the boy )--but today, I think some of us still cringe at the thought of "sadism"--I personally have finally found a home for Mine with the new boy--he craves it, thank goddess, because I've needed it for ages---a student that I mentor mentioned yesterday that her perspective Dom was not and never could be a sadist---hmmm I wonder--how do we define sadism? and what are our differing methods? Mine run from the 3A PST wake up call getting him begging then hanging up to My feared strap and beyond... when does sadism enter or leave the "field of play"?-- So I pose this out there for My esteemed Dominant colleagues, what is sadism to You? and submissives/slaves---what is it about sadism that you crave, need, want, or detest? (sits back, sips her coffee and waits for responses)

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 5:10:46 AM)
You know it's funny.....all those years ago, when I met and started playing with my first sub, I wouldn't hit or spank him or the like. (CBT, however....) It definately took a while to really release my "inner sadist" without guilt. At this point in my journey, I see my needs as a Sadist and a Dominant as two equally important entities, slightly separate but peacefully cohabitating with each other. Joint needs, per se, rather than fully intertwined. I can't feed one without making a nod to the other. The Sadist is easier to feed (lots of people willing to play); the Dominant slightly more difficult (needing that deep connection in an M/s situation).

MHOO314 -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 5:17:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood At this point in my journey, I see my needs as a Sadist and a Dominant as two equally important entities, slightly separate but peacefully cohabitating with each other. Joint needs, per se, rather than fully intertwined. I can't feed one without making a nod to the other. The Sadist is easier to feed (lots of people willing to play); the Dominant slightly more difficult (needing that deep connection in an M/s situation). ahhh an interesting slant and a good point--I kept the sadist at bay ( though I played hard)--caring for the Dominant--now I have the boy, the Dominant is at peace, well that started the flood of the sadist---LOL--

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 5:25:55 AM)
quote: ahhh an interesting slant and a good point--I kept the sadist at bay ( though I played hard)--caring for the Dominant--now I have the boy, the Dominant is at peace, well that started the flood of the sadist---LOL-- Well my point always has been that if I found someone to play with who was somewhat submissive but very masochisitic, I can enjoy myself with them. Likewise, if I found someone with whom there was great interaction and chemistry on an M/s level, but not masochistic, then I can definately see the value in pursuing a relationship with them. But in either case, I'd need the room to have those sadistic or dominant needs elsewhere. I think long term relationship wise, it's easier if I had the not-so-maso-but-very-sub as the "alpha" partner, and have a thump puppet on the side...thump puppets are just a lot easier to find.

Misstoyou -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 11:49:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO31 ...I kept the sadist at bay ( though I played hard)--caring for the Dominant--now I have the boy, the Dominant is at peace, well that started the flood of the sadist---LOL-- You know, I think this is exactly what happened to me with my submissive, as he likes to point out to me. lol You've phrased it perfectly. I've never felt as free to release my dark side before. There is such peace in holding that man in the palm of my hand, but more because of the man he is, than what he does for me, or what I do to him.

IrishMist -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 12:06:17 PM)
quote: and submissives/slaves---what is it about sadism that you crave, need, want, or detest? Nice question Mistress Hathor, and one that is not very easy to answer. Sadism can take on many different definitions and perspectives. Looking back through the years, if I was to meet my late husband right now, I would probably run from him very fast. He truly had a darkness within him that was not only cruel, but bordered on extreme violence. When I was first introduced to this wonderful life, I had no idea of the journey that I would be taken on, nor would I have ever thought that I would be the kind of person that I am today. I have a strong violent streak within myself that is let loose only during a time of interaction with a partner. I was fortunate that I had someone who knew how to counter it with his own. The more violent and cruel my partner is, the more I am able to express myself, and to reach that pinacle that I crave. His sadism fuels my own needs. The more sadistic, the more intense the cravings are. The more the cravings are met, the more peace I feel.

Kindred2Evil -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 1:55:17 PM)
I think that in many cases sadism still sticks in their heads as being too extreme, conjuring up visions of someone being flayed to the point of stiches or having pieces of them removed or any other gruesome thing you can think of. I was pretty lucky when I discovered that sadistic streak the person with whom I was with at the time loved it. I learned alot from him. He taught me that it was okay to let out my (his words here) Inner Bitch from Hell. She's an okay kinda chick, quite evil minded at times especially when it comes to mind games and knives. I also think that some D/s people look at the sadist and wonder what's wrong with them. It's only been in recent years that I discovered the Domme in me and have found that both can be treated to delightful and fulfilling moments. I understand and accept my wants and needs, which has brought me a long way from the guilt of "being mean" to someone. Rather hard to feel guilty when the boy you've got cuffed to the wall is screaming and begging for more. To me that's the biggest thing, acceptance of onesself, of your needs, wants and desires. There's nothing wrong with glueing a boys penis to his stomach and getting off on watching him struggle with it, as long as consent remains in place I say let that wicked bitch loose lol

yourMissTress -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 3:04:48 PM)
quote: So I pose this out there for My esteemed Dominant colleagues, what is sadism to You? and submissives/slaves---what is it about sadism that you crave, need, want, or detest? Fabulous question MH. Something that I am wrestling with in my own mind. I have been thinking all day about recent events at play parties I have attended as well as private sessions with subs and wondering where and when I "changed". I posted some time ago about my inner sadist and how that part of me is coming closer to the surface. And I will be starting another thread on the General Board regarding this issue soon. Sadism to me is the enjoyment of and desire to create pain for another human being. I know what pain does to a person that enjoys it, I understand the chemical reactions in the brain and I would not under normal circumstances enjoy creating and causing pain for someone that wasn't a masochist. I believe it has something to do with the power that I have to create this chemical reaction. Create the rush and control it, orchestrate it much like the power I realized when I came to understand my sexuality and the power that I held as a sexual being and as a woman. Just as the realization of that sexual power developed in me a sexual lust, I have developed almost a bloodlust. When I see the imprint of my hand begin to bruise, raised welts forming from my nails scratching, or the skin being laid open by my dragon's tail, I get very excited and want to dig in deeper, make more marks, see the blood flow. Before I found the love of my life, who is not my sub, I was more nurturing, loving, and focused primarily on the emotional/romantic aspects of relationships with subs. Now that those feelings are being fulfilled, the sadist is out to play.

Submotive -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 5:19:48 PM)
quote: kittens in plastic bags Oh my, GASP!. Unless of course You're talking about bondage ~sly grin~. quote: I love messing with the boy LOL, How well i know. Yikes, just realized You're helping to train my Master.[:o] quote: what is it about sadism that you crave, need, want, or detest i crave/need/want the unknown, unsuspected. It says to me He is really paying attention to who i am, and that He's loving the dance as much, or more than i. i love the psychological play. i love to be pushed further than what i think i can go to show Him how deep my devotion and commitment to Him are. Detest? Hmmm. The only thing i could detest is sadism without respect and care and thought.

fastlane -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 6:29:27 PM)
I have never admitted my sadism....."hello, I am Kevin and I'm a sadist." the first step is admitting. I love to beat, or have Impact play, with women. I can be as gentile as they wish, or pray for a pain slut and watch her become incoherent, only to know, despite the pain my love is two fold. fuck that halo, I lost that a long time ago. Kevin

IrishMist -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 7:12:24 PM)
quote: I also think that some D/s people look at the sadist and wonder what's wrong with them. This is very true not only when looking at the sadist but also when looking at the masochist who enjoys such a dynamic. I have had quite a few ask 'what is wrong with you' and also had some ask me 'how could you be with someone who treats you in such a way'. How I wish there was a simple way of explaining it [:o]

ShadeDiva -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/19/2006 10:15:29 PM)
Where is our dear thread jerker? I know this has been asked before - and I wasn't successful in pulling up the threads durn it. See I'm just lazy and not wanting to rewrite my posts LOL. Shhhhhhh. Don't tell.

KatyLied -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 6:27:00 AM)
I think with someone I can trust, I could go into some mental/emotional sadistic play, and enjoy being touched mentally and emotionally where it would hurt, and give me deep pause. But I shirk away from intense physical pain, it does nothing for me on any level. I try not to judge those people who crave it as it feeds a need they have. And as far as a sadist/maso goes....when they find each other I'm sure it is awesome, just as it would be finding the other person, in more general terms, who can feed you what you need.

MHOO314 -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 6:38:04 AM)
Interesting that so many people equate sadism with physical pain, yet isn't humiliation a form of sadism? I am sadistic with the boy often when we talk on the phone, yet I have not issued one element of physical pain.

IrishMist -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 6:46:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 Interesting that so many people equate sadism with physical pain, yet isn't humiliation a form of sadism? I am sadistic with the boy often when we talk on the phone, yet I have not issued one element of physical pain. I associate sadism with not only physical pain, but also mental. My late husband often used the 'I am going to share you tonight', simply because he knew that I in no way wanted to be shared. It's humilating, and degrading to be passed around, and yet, he also knew that the thought of the possibility ever happening raised my arousal levels, while at the same time sending me into a panic of fear. I was constantly wondering if 'this would be the time that it happened'.

yourMissTress -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 9:16:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 Interesting that so many people equate sadism with physical pain, yet isn't humiliation a form of sadism? I am sadistic with the boy often when we talk on the phone, yet I have not issued one element of physical pain. Oh yes, MH, humiliation mmmmmmmm yes. True ability to humiliate comes with time and knowledge of your prey. The mind is the most wonderful playground. I love to get in there and move things around. Find out what's hidden inside and use it against them. There's a certain activity that one of my boys is terribly scared of, enemas. I have this really big obnoxious enema bag that's more of a prop for medical scenes than it is for play. (I usually use the disposable enemas when doing one.) So I will put that big red unmistakable prop in plain sight for him on occasion. Or when we are on the phone and he's at work, I will squeeze air through it and he knows quite well what the sound is he hears. It's just one example, but the most recent one that comes to mind.

MHOO314 -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 9:48:09 AM)
You are a gem MissTress!

LadyTantalize -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 10:01:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva Where is our dear thread jerker? I know this has been asked before - and I wasn't successful in pulling up the threads durn it. See I'm just lazy and not wanting to rewrite my posts LOL. Shhhhhhh. Don't tell. Me too! I'm lazy so some of My sentiments can be found in the "Women Sadists Throughout History" thread!!! http://www.collarchat.com/m_258800/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm sa·dism (sā'dĭz'əm, săd'ĭz'-) n. The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty. Extreme cruelty. Yes, deriving pleasure from pain, physical as well as psychological, is defined as sadism. I'm more of a Physical Sadist in that I prefer to inflict harm to the body rather than to the mind or the psyche. I also consider Myself an "Empathetic Sadist" in that I have extreme compassion for those upon whom I unleash the full force of My sadism, even to the point of experiencing some guilt afterward. Hey, Dommes need aftercare too. So, I am an Empathetic, Physical Sadist! g

Smythe -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/20/2006 7:08:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyTantalize I also consider Myself an "Empathetic Sadist" in that I have extreme compassion for those upon whom I unleash the full force of My sadism, even to the point of experiencing some guilt afterward. Hey, Dommes need aftercare too. So, I am an Empathetic, Physical Sadist! g I don't think I would characterize myself as a sadist, although I can certainly be and feel sadistic. I think of a true sadist as one who simply enjoys inflicting pain, with pain being the main issue. For me, pain is never the central issue and I don't want to hurt just anyone. Rather, my boy, suffering for me, is the main issue. I don't want to hurt a body, I want to hurt him, because of all the things that says about our intimacy and knowledge of each other. Also, at first I chuckled at the idea of the broken and bleeding sub crawling over to the Domme to offer aftercare (exaggeration here, for humor) but actually, I know what you're talking about. I don't actually need aftercare, but when he kisses my hand after a punishment all's right in my world. Smythe

LadyTantalize -> RE: Sadism, disspell the rumors of the Marquis (2/21/2006 6:31:37 AM)
quote: Also, at first I chuckled at the idea of the broken and bleeding sub crawling over to the Domme to offer aftercare (exaggeration here, for humor) but actually, I know what you're talking about. I don't actually need aftercare, but when he kisses my hand after a punishment all's right in my world. Umm, possibly not such an exaggeration! g Actually, in scenes with Me, aftercare for the submissive occurs immediately after the scene but the aftercare given to Me and reaffirmation that all is well and good with the submissive usually occurs, preferably, within forty-eight hours after the scene. Although a "broken and bleeding sub" crawling over to comfort Me is lovely thought to Me! more g But hey, like I said, I do have empathy so I shall refrain from being that self-absorbed and demanding! even more g

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