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Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 6:34:51 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?

Having said that I played with a particular Dominant I was asked if he was well hung. When I said that I had no idea the girl I was speaking with replied with "Well but you just said you have played with him". Personally, when I say play...I mean exactly that and don't mean to imply that we had sex. I've had many play partners...but very few sex partners.

I'm not meaning to imply that it can't include sex or that it is wrong if you do. Just wondering if people in general assume that play means sex.

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 7:06:56 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I think that anyone asking about the umm "physical make-up" of anyone elses Dom or play partner is TACKY.

Sex or not well as most things go some do and some don't. I have and I haven't depends on the partner.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 7:15:13 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Generally, I reserve bonking for Lady Neets and any kajira in my collar. The BDSM Play is not part of my Gorean Lifestyle but is is an additive. For this reason untill I have a girl in a collar, I'm open to finding suitable play partners in order to gain as much experience in a few areas which interest me such as shibari and needle play. Would sex be involved? Not necessarily and never without it being discussed first. Effectiovely sex is not in my top activities I live for. I value it with the right people far to much to devalue it by poking "Big Hairy" in every available oriface.

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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 7:49:08 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I don't make an assumption either way. Most of the times I've had a play partner it has involved sex but some haven't been.

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 7:50:15 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?


Play is play. It's what I do when I bring out the whips and chains. It may or may not include sexual penetration, depending on the individual with whom I'm playing. To date, I've had no interest in sexual contact with anyone other than Master, although it's certainly not out of the question, so if someone were to ask me about playing with someone else, odds are there will not have been penetration involved.

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Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 8:05:45 AM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Masters friend loves to flog me and i consider that "play". Ther is no sex involved whatsoever. Not even any sexual touching by Her hands. She just beats me with the flogger and thats it. Master , however, does the tightening of the nipple clamps (under my bikini top)



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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 8:19:27 AM   
sweetnessforsir


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		this is an interesting question, and i have encountered the same misunderstanding. for me, playing is playing and if there is an understanding sex can be added to the mix. and while i prefer to have intimate play that includes sex, but i have agreed to platonic play in the past.

i agree with theRose4U about it being tacky to ask about the performance of bed partners--in any community. the solution to that is simply to invite the inquirer to find out for her or himself. that will usually quiet them down.

s

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 8:20:31 AM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Play is a fairly amgibuous word for me. It can mean a lot of different things. I think for a lot of us, "play" is the polite word we use to be more discreet than to say something like "fuck" or "torture." Both of those words carry a lot more weight psychologically.

For me, play does have a sexual connotation. But then, SM is a sexual thing for me. I don't automatically include intercourse or oral sex every time I "play" with someone, but more often than not, I do. Even if we don't include penetration, there is almost always some kind sexual stimulation, and fairly often one or more of us get a sexual release. I like making girls cum. I also like teasing them and NOT letting them cum. Of course, with this, I believe it's often a good idea to give a girl her reward and let her finally have an orgasm after I've teased her and kept her on the brink of one for several hours or more. If I don't, I may have one unhappy girl on my hands, and a happy girl is better company than an unhappy one.

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Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:18:29 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		No I have to agree with Mist here... most (Not all) assume play means sex. I "play" with Master daily.. we don't have sex daily.



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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:25:08 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

No I have to agree with Mist here... most (Not all) assume play means sex. I "play" with Master daily.. we don't have sex daily.





I make a distinction with the terms (its My OCD I guess)--I "play" with the boy--I scene with strangers or partners meaning toys, techniques, NO SEX, NO Intimate touch--that keeps it clear IMHO--(others will disagree but that has worked well for Me in the past)



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Mistress Hathor


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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:36:03 AM   
dedicated2her


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline 		I would agree with most people that "play" doesnt always have to imply that sex is involved. For me, I have "played" with many Dommes, but have only been intimate with one. I guess on the internet there will always be people with different definitions for certain expressions.

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:38:08 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He enters, dips His lid to all...........

A special smiling, smuggy bow to IronBear's terminology, an extra Lid dip.


This is a very topical question for me at present. I have identified as a Lifestyle Dom for the last 16 months. Play at this stage has consistantly constituted sex inclusion. This has meant that whenever I or others referred to 'play' that It included sex however;
I am going to clubs in the absence of my Precious Ones (distance) and being invited by others to partake in numerous activities including the obvious play of spanking to the more voyeurestic.
http://www.collarchat.com/Wild_Kinky_Adventures_%7E_Come_Play_with_Me%21/m_269730/tm.htm
Now even the above, is play with sexual behaviour even if it is indirect and did not sexually arouse me.... I could flogg a woman in public club play and if she becomes wet or orgasmic from the pain stimulation- is that also sexual play?

So now 'play' to me in explanation from others and self is just that- play without penetrative or stimulative sexual behaviour unless I or the other state the sex inclusion.
To Mis- I can only imagine the person who misunderstood you was someone what did not go to clubs or bdsm play parties and has not learnt the difference as I have.

I know that I would be able to play without penetrative/insertive, or genitive stimulation but question why should I? if I dont have the pleasure of seeing, sensing the climatic ending and re-runnings (the re-runnings are cool!) what pleasure am I really obtaining and why should I lessen the connection I have with my Precious Collared Ones!

I realize that in time with added learning that as a Master I would do 'instructive' play which may or may not involve the more obvious sexual behaviour but am content to further explore the deepening dynamic I have with my collareds.

Obviously if I was subless (hangs head) I would play irrespective of sex inclusion.
Warm regards to all.


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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:39:12 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?




My Dragon and I usually refer to "play" as strictly bondage/whip type of activity. If we are discussing sex for some reason.. we say sex. You play with toys.. our toys are floggers, whips and restraintents. My Dragon plays with me.. and that usually does not include sex. If we do have sex, it is usually well after, during the after care period.

Just my 2 cents...


1st Girl Phoenix

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 9:58:36 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

I could flogg a woman in public club play and if she becomes wet or orgasmic from the pain stimulation- is that also sexual play?




Good question Driver... but then again I don't know. Because as I stated.. I play with Master daily.. but play to U/us doesn't enclude any type of sexual gratification. I guess our definition of play.. differs from others... but daily I submit to him in some way shape or form. Neither of us get any "sexual pleasure" from this. We get mental and emotional gratifications from this. sexual gratification is just and added bonus.. when it leads to that.. and gets there.. if that's where he wants it to go. (Or if I give him a little nudge in that direction... smiles)

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/19/2006 9:59:19 AM >

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 10:50:16 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Still trying to recover from the "Big" Hairy" comment (thanks for the laugh Iron Bear"}

For us "play" almost always leads to sexual activity. We are both very sexual and become highly aroused in the course of things. Personally I have normally been involved in sex during play, but then again I never usually played with people I didn't have some level of relationship with

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 2/19/2006 10:51:18 AM >

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 10:51:30 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?


Not necessarily. For me, sex is just an added bonus, but it's not necessary.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 12:54:38 PM   
MasterOwnskitty


Posts: 97
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		With my slave, "play" often leads to sex but that doesn't mean that play has to always include sex.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 1:07:56 PM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?


Not necessarily. For me, sex is just an added bonus, but it's not necessary.

I would have to agree play is just that "play" and sex is up to the people who are "playing"....

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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 1:27:45 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

When you say that you have played with someone or express a desire to play with someone...what does that mean to you? Does that include sex in your definition?


Not necessarily. For me, sex is just an added bonus, but it's not necessary.



I agree with IrishMist.

I'll add that for me most play is sensual or sexual. Usually a good pain play session will have a high sexual tension. For me playing is more than swinging a few toys around and hitting someone with something that extends from me. I use floggers, paddles, canes, etc.. but I more importantly I use my hands, arms, nails, teeth, breath, voice, feet and legs. It's rare that I walk away from a play session dry.

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Play?...what does that mean to you? - 2/19/2006 4:57:38 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Play means exactly that... You played! What specifics you did in the Play could be anything... from a sensual massage to sex to bondage to roleplay to SM to god only knows what..... It means that anything was possible... but only some things were actaully done... I don't have a clue what they would specifically be unless you specifically tell me.



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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