Rant! Explain it to Me?!

Rant! Explain it to Me?! (Full Version)

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StoneFox -> Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/23/2009 9:53:24 PM)
Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored. Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going. Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?!

hardbodysub -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/23/2009 10:12:55 PM)
I've never done that, and don't understand it. Frankly, I think you're so hot that I can't conceive of backing out on a possibility with you without one helluva good reason. I can only guess. He may have gotten cold feet, and wimped out when things got close to really happening. He may have been just an online player, and never really intended to follow through. He may have been the subject of a long investigation, and the FBI suddenly burst in and arrested him, just as he was about to email you.

caelestis -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/23/2009 10:48:07 PM)
Once due to real life circumstances, it happened. Granted I wasn't online trying to pick up other people. It simply came to real life became too much, and things sort of drifted apart. But thats been fixed. [:)]

allthatjaz -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 12:22:53 AM)
I think there are many reasons why someone would suddenly stop contact but I think the main one is possibly because they really do have other commitments in their life that they haven't been straight about and are realistically (without telling you) looking for online only affairs. Those people have no choice but to back out when you up the anti about meeting up.

GreedyTop -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 12:29:17 AM)
or... they've just lost interest, and didnt feel it worthwhile to say so. People are people....

beargonewild -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 5:08:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StoneFox Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored. Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going. Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?! Fear of actually having what he so desires and finding it's closer to being a reality opposed to a fantasy?

Arillis -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 5:57:57 AM)
Yes of course, I have, many times, without explanation abruptly stopped both dialogues and dating a dominant. In fact, there have been times where at dinner I excused myself, paid the check and left cab fare with the restaurant owner for her to get home. At the first sign of misrepresentation, deceit, hidden agenda or disingenuousness its time to move on and there is nothing more to talk about.

serverbob -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 6:16:11 AM)
The answer is probably that he had other commitments and didn't dare talk about them with you. It was easier to let the thing drop than to tell you and watch his fantasy fall apart. He was a time waster. Dommes sometimes do the same thing... especially if they seem too good to be true. The ones who come on strong when its just email are always suspicious to me.

DesFIP -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 7:37:26 AM)
Something you said was a red flag for him and he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. His wife found out. He's lost his job and feels too ashamed to admit it. He's developed a dangerous illness and can't really come see you. Pick one

Cloudz -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 5:41:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arillis Yes of course, I have, many times, without explanation abruptly stopped both dialogues and dating a dominant. In fact, there have been times where at dinner I excused myself, paid the check and left cab fare with the restaurant owner for her to get home. At the first sign of misrepresentation, deceit, hidden agenda or disingenuousness its time to move on and there is nothing more to talk about. Wow...your "style" leaves little chance for a misunderstood signal, or a "miss" when humor was intended. It's great thst you do the gentleman thing and make sure her dinner and her ride home is covered, but would you be better served to discuss the issue rather than vanish mid face to face? Just a thought/

whiteslavebitch -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 6:10:52 PM)
I did it once with my current master. We were still long distance at the time, and I was having some anxiety about that issue. I didn't call him or answer his calls for about a week. I needed some time to think. Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there. We talked things through, and now almost 3 years later our relationship is on very solid footing. I really regret handling it the way I did, it wasn't the most mature thing I ever did.

StoneFox -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/24/2009 8:31:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there. That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol. I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work.

Arillis -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/25/2009 6:23:51 AM)
Life has been extremely kind to me, fate has smiled on me at every turn of events and I attribute that to self honesty and honesty with others. When honesty becomes in question, there is no question, neither is there explanation or excuse.

Eivarden -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/25/2009 11:22:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StoneFox quote: ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there. That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol. I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work. I'll admit it, I've tried to get the attention of girls before, who have been called stalkers before. But I also admit, I was cautious, and I didn't trust them from the start. Just in case they were psychos <.<; But I oddly get attracted to psychos as well. ^^; One day it's gonna get me killed. >.>;

antipode -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/25/2009 1:32:28 PM)
quote: Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?! You've been had, it happens. Move on. There is nothing anybody can say here that will help you understand why this particular person did what he did. In 99% of all cases, IMO, it is because the person is in a relationship, and leads an imaginary life on the interwebthingie. It is very frustrating, and they are so good at it, you get taken.

whiteslavebitch -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/25/2009 7:23:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StoneFox quote: ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there. That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol. I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work. Well by that time, I had known him for more than a year, I wasn't worried that he was a stalker. He had my work phone # because I had given it to him previously, he didn't have to dig very deeply for it.[:D]

Mistressbinature -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/25/2009 8:39:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StoneFox Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored. Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going. Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?! He, no doubt, was not as connected to you as you were to him Yes this is the way people say goodbye. they hate confrontation maybe felt you would sent him nasty little emails that might hurt his feelings or whinny replies asking for an explanation he was unwilling to give. And yes, it sucks, but what do you expect ?

littlesarbonn -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/26/2009 12:19:40 AM)
The ones who do this sort of thing, of course, aren't going to cop to it. They do it because they got what they were seeking, and they never had any intentions of doing any actual work in a relationship. Sometimes, they're great eye candy, and they use that to get their little desires met. Quite often, the sincere ones are ignored because they seem too easy, which never ceases to amaze me. ::shrugs::

stella41b -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/26/2009 1:09:23 AM)
It could be anything to be honest. I think it happens to all of us, especially via the Internet when it goes from online to real time and they either figure that they have issues with follow through or commitment, they are scared of the reality of what they want, or even that the truth is going to come out, or even that they were also talking to five others besides you and went for one of the other five. This is something I don't understand, never have and probably never will.

StoneFox -> RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! (7/26/2009 1:10:25 AM)
For some reason your post reminds me of silly joke...this guy with 3 girlfriends trying to figure out which one to marry. So he gives them each $5k and watches how they spend it to help with his decision. Long story short...they all use the money to express their love in their individual way. So he says "fuck it, this it too hard" and just picks the one with the biigest tits. In the event that doesn't translate...I blame the wine! :hic:

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