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Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/23/2009 9:53:24 PM

StoneFox

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
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Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored.

Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going.

Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?!

Post #: 1

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/23/2009 10:12:55 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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I've never done that, and don't understand it. Frankly, I think you're so hot that I can't conceive of backing out on a possibility with you without one helluva good reason.

I can only guess. He may have gotten cold feet, and wimped out when things got close to really happening. He may have been just an online player, and never really intended to follow through. He may have been the subject of a long investigation, and the FBI suddenly burst in and arrested him, just as he was about to email you.

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 2

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/23/2009 10:48:07 PM

caelestis

Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
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Once due to real life circumstances, it happened. Granted I wasn't online trying to pick up other people. It simply came to real life became too much, and things sort of drifted apart.

But thats been fixed.

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(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 3

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 12:22:53 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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I think there are many reasons why someone would suddenly stop contact but I think the main one is possibly because they really do have other commitments in their life that they haven't been straight about and are realistically (without telling you) looking for online only affairs. Those people have no choice but to back out when you up the anti about meeting up.

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(in reply to caelestis)

Post #: 4

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 12:29:17 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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or... they've just lost interest, and didnt feel it worthwhile to say so. People are people....

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Post #: 5

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 5:08:51 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored.

Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going.

Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?!

Fear of actually having what he so desires and finding it's closer to being a reality opposed to a fantasy?

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(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 6

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 5:57:57 AM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

Yes of course, I have, many times, without explanation abruptly stopped both dialogues and dating a dominant.
In fact, there have been times where at dinner I excused myself, paid the check and left cab fare with the restaurant owner for her to get home.
At the first sign of misrepresentation, deceit, hidden agenda or disingenuousness its time to move on and there is nothing more to talk about.

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 7

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 6:16:11 AM

serverbob

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/5/2009
Status: offline

The answer is probably that he had other commitments and didn't dare talk about them with you. It was easier to let the thing drop than to tell you and watch his fantasy fall apart. He was a time waster. Dommes sometimes do the same thing... especially if they seem too good to be true. The ones who come on strong when its just email are always suspicious to me.

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 8

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 7:37:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Something you said was a red flag for him and he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
His wife found out.
He's lost his job and feels too ashamed to admit it.
He's developed a dangerous illness and can't really come see you.

Pick one

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Post #: 9

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 5:41:28 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arillis

Yes of course, I have, many times, without explanation abruptly stopped both dialogues and dating a dominant.
In fact, there have been times where at dinner I excused myself, paid the check and left cab fare with the restaurant owner for her to get home.
At the first sign of misrepresentation, deceit, hidden agenda or disingenuousness its time to move on and there is nothing more to talk about.

Wow...your "style" leaves little chance for a misunderstood signal, or a "miss" when humor was intended. It's great thst you do the gentleman thing and make sure her dinner and her ride home is covered, but would you be better served to discuss the issue rather than vanish mid face to face? Just a thought/

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(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 10

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 6:10:52 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

I did it once with my current master. We were still long distance at the time, and I was having some anxiety about that issue. I didn't call him or answer his calls for about a week. I needed some time to think.

Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there. We talked things through, and now almost 3 years later our relationship is on very solid footing.

I really regret handling it the way I did, it wasn't the most mature thing I ever did.

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(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 11

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/24/2009 8:31:15 PM

StoneFox

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there.

That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol.

I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 12

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/25/2009 6:23:51 AM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

Life has been extremely kind to me, fate has smiled on me at every turn of events and I attribute that to self honesty and honesty with others. When honesty becomes in question, there is no question, neither is there explanation or excuse.

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 13

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/25/2009 11:22:25 AM

Eivarden

Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there.

That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol.

I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work.

I'll admit it, I've tried to get the attention of girls before, who have been called stalkers before.

But I also admit, I was cautious, and I didn't trust them from the start. Just in case they were psychos <.<;

But I oddly get attracted to psychos as well. ^^;

One day it's gonna get me killed. >.>;

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 14

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/25/2009 1:32:28 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?!

You've been had, it happens. Move on. There is nothing anybody can say here that will help you understand why this particular person did what he did. In 99% of all cases, IMO, it is because the person is in a relationship, and leads an imaginary life on the interwebthingie. It is very frustrating, and they are so good at it, you get taken.

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 15

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/25/2009 7:23:10 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

Luckily for me he wasn't willing to give up on me, he found my work number and called me there.

That was a risky bet on his part. I think if I dug up someone's work number when they were avoding me they would think I was some crazy stalker, lol.

I'm glad his bet paid off and congrats to both of you for making it work.

Well by that time, I had known him for more than a year, I wasn't worried that he was a stalker. He had my work phone # because I had given it to him previously, he didn't have to dig very deeply for it.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 16

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/25/2009 8:39:57 PM

Mistressbinature

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

Recently I've been communicating with a sub who I really liked and he really liked me. He was interested in serving and we exchanged emails and spoke on the phone. Then one day the communications stop...even though I can see he's active online. Requests to explain what's going on go ignored.

Now, thankfully this is happening early on. Someone who doesn't have the guts to even explain why they don't want to talk anymore isn't for me. But it's still frustrating, especially when we had a nice connection going.

Have any of you subs (esp. the guys) ever done this...dropped out of touch without saying why? And why did you do that?!

He, no doubt, was not as connected to you as you were to him
Yes this is the way people say goodbye. they hate confrontation maybe felt you would sent him nasty little emails that might hurt his feelings or whinny replies asking for an explanation he was unwilling to give. And yes, it sucks, but what do you expect ?

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 17

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/26/2009 12:19:40 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

The ones who do this sort of thing, of course, aren't going to cop to it. They do it because they got what they were seeking, and they never had any intentions of doing any actual work in a relationship. Sometimes, they're great eye candy, and they use that to get their little desires met. Quite often, the sincere ones are ignored because they seem too easy, which never ceases to amaze me.

::shrugs::

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(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 18

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/26/2009 1:09:23 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

It could be anything to be honest. I think it happens to all of us, especially via the Internet when it goes from online to real time and they either figure that they have issues with follow through or commitment, they are scared of the reality of what they want, or even that the truth is going to come out, or even that they were also talking to five others besides you and went for one of the other five.

This is something I don't understand, never have and probably never will.

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(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 19

RE: Rant! Explain it to Me?! - 7/26/2009 1:10:25 AM

StoneFox

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

For some reason your post reminds me of silly joke...this guy with 3 girlfriends trying to figure out which one to marry. So he gives them each $5k and watches how they spend it to help with his decision. Long story short...they all use the money to express their love in their individual way. So he says "fuck it, this it too hard" and just picks the one with the biigest tits.

In the event that doesn't translate...I blame the wine! :hic:

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 20

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