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RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/20/2006 11:05:22 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

Okay, at the risk of being called a fake and a poser, I have a question for the other sub/slaves here.
For many reasons, I'm unable to participate at this time, and maybe never in a real time relationship. I do have a cyber dom, who generally enjoys giving me orders on line, which I definitely enjoy following.
But then there are days like today, where I feel he completely ignores me. He says its to give me a day off, but I don't want a day off. When he plays with me, it's great, but these long days with no contact suck. Am I being too needy? I mean, I understand he has his own life and family, as do I. But I miss having my daily instructions. Should I look for someone else, since my needs arent being met. Or accept his dictates on when he wants to play, and when I must suffer being ignored?

slaveladyj....

Few years back.. for a few different reasons... I couldn't get involved in realtime relationships and had a full time on line Master. Now he was married, kids, work, life of his own. As so did I.. (except spouse). Anyways.. he knew there were times he wouldn't.. couldn't.. always be "available". Now luckily we talked about this... I know some other on line submissives that just simply do this....

If you have no intentions.... AT ALL.. of becoming real time... with THIS Dom... (for what ever reasons)... find another one. Hell... I had 3 at one time. 2 knew of each other. Thing of it is.. this is the internet... no one really knows what the other does or does not do.. unless they are tell alls.

I enjoyed my little times with each one of them.. when it was conveinant for each one of them.... on those days it seems more than one was available for a change.... I just decided what one I wanted to chat with more than the other. What one I had more fun with per say.. or who came on line first and got my attention leting me know they wanted mine first. Went invisible to all others then.

It's all in what your intentions are. If you're experimenting on line first.. before real time... just like normal dating.. looking around... is the norm.. (unless you agreed to an on line collaring.. ugh.. not my cup of tea... but to each their own)

Enjoy yourself.. while you're looking around... no ne has to be the wiser as to what you're doing.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/20/2006 11:06:53 PM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to slaveladyj)

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Post #: 21

RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/21/2006 3:59:47 AM

slaveladyj

Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
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TheRose4u, when I said I had too much time on my hands, I did not mean to sound like I sat around waiting for his instructions. I have a home to manage, a day job, I'm a writer, so I spend hours each day writing. I publish an ezine, which takes hours reading, and editing the writing of other writers. My actually time is really quite filled up, but there is nothing to say some of that time can't be directed in interesting ways, that still let me do what I need to do.
But I do thank you, and all the others for your words of advice and guidance.

(in reply to theRose4U)

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Post #: 22

RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/21/2006 6:25:27 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I know how you feel when my late Master had to go away for a few weeks to visit family i was at a loss, but he made sure we got in touch by phone or online every day until he returned. if you have way too much free time maybe you should get involved in something to take up the time when your Master says he needs a break. On line would never work for me i need the actual physical contact but it seems to work for you so good for you. Did you talk to him about how you feel whan he takes a break? I think that would be a good idea.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 23

RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/23/2006 11:58:07 AM

pleasingsub

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

find another one. Hell... I had 3 at one time. 2 knew of each other. Thing of it is.. this is the internet... no one really knows what the other does or does not do.. unless they are tell alls.

very well put.

(in reply to littleone35)

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Post #: 24

RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/23/2006 12:23:51 PM

MIstressCyn127

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

I do basically zero online "relationships" myself either, although i do use the internet to communicate assignments, link things ive read and such. I just cant think of any sort of service a sub could provide online. Since as a sub you are probably craving direction and discipline, ways to serve in addition to wanting attention, maybe you could be proactive in finding some service type thing to do that could be done in your spare time. Something that may benefit your real time relationship in the future, and your dom could manage and monitor your progress. Depending on what he likes, maybe you will want to learn massage. or cooking or yoga ( being flexible rules) and doing these things daily can be part of your "training" so to speak. I have my boi do a few different sorts of assignments daily and report to me via email. He is a r/t relationship, but he is only in my home 2 days a week, the other 5 he is at his house, but we are in contact every day, there are a number of little rituals/assignments I have set up to remind him he's owned even when im not next to him

M. Cyn

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Post #: 25

RE: Feeling Neglected - 2/24/2006 12:28:41 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
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one believes that you could find an online relationship that gave you what you needed. That is not selfish, that is not being a fake or a player. you are not Owned, and you have the right to have your needs met. your relationship should be mutually satisfying. Now if you were Owned? lol that could be differrent.

(in reply to slaveladyj)

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Post #: 26