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Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 4:32:36 AM

Antheia

Posts: 66
Joined: 2/11/2009
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I have read , in several of the forums, that men are supposed to be strong. That if they show any weakness they just aren't " good enough". Ok my questions are these.
In your opinion

What makes a man weak? What makes him strong?
Is it alright for him to show emotions? To cry? At a sad movie or a sad song or watching his child achieve something?

Now in my own opinion we all have weaknesses. And yes they eventually show through to other people. And so what. No one is strong in every aspect of their lives. All the time.We all have chinks in our armor no matter how "superhuman" we think we are. Men too. I have seen men who watch a sad or happy ending movie and who shed a tear. Do I lose respect for those men? No. I see them as having a heart and not afraid to show it. I see them as not trying to hide certain aspects of themselves from everyone. I see them as just as strong as any of the self proclaimed "superhumans"

Ok enough of a rant. What are others opinions here?
Thank you
A.

Post #: 1

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 4:34:44 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
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I find if you are yourself no matter what others say or laugh about..you are strong.
Meaning a man cries when he needs it..no matter what others say.

< Message edited by TurboJugend -- 7/26/2009 4:35:51 AM >

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 2

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 4:51:53 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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The discussion of this subject could fuel yet another pissing contest. The very nature of people in general, let along the variety of people we have here posting will give you vastly different points of view.

Consider if you will, the possible answer of a dominant gorean male versus a dominant female. Even among the various dominant women you will have a broad scope of answers.

Personally, I don't think there is a generic answer. Like Turbo said, we all just have to be ourselves, our best selves. Whatever our INDIVIDUAL strengths, someone will find each of us perfect for them.

For myself, strength of character is far more important than physical strength. Being honest, keeping one's word. Admitting when we've been wrong, behaved wrongly, made fools of ourselves..........all takes far greater strength than strutting around bellowing like a mad food, threatening to kick the shit out of someone. Yet, many find greater value in a strutting cock and a strong set of arms. No different than the strutting cock looking for a pretty face and slender, curvy figure in a woman. They will overlook strength of character for a fine physical specimen. To each their own, shallow people are deserving of one another.

It has been my experience that the inner and outter strengths rarely match. Outter weakness often increases inner strengths. Give me the company of those often overlooked for shallow reasons, their inner strengths and other qualities will keep me enthralled long after the shallow pretties have faded away, leaving their brittle shells.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/26/2009 4:52:41 AM >

_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 3

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 4:53:20 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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I do not believe men have to be stronger than women, I believe that everyone should have self belief and courage in their convictions, that is the kind of strength I like to see. Flawlessness is nothing to do with the kind of strength I am attracted to, neither is physical strength.

I do not know which forums you are talking about to be honest, but the idea that men can't cry is insane, and I have never expected anyone to be superhuman (well apart from super heroes of course)

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 4

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 5:01:32 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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I don't have any problems showing my emotional sides, and I personally don't look at it as being either a strength nor a weakness. It's me being me. All emotions carry both strength and weakness.

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 5

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 5:10:55 AM

bobipanti

Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

A man that can cry and who is able to openly show his emotions is a strong human being.

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 6

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 5:12:38 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobipanti

A man that can cry and who is able to openly show his emotions is a strong human being.

Why?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to bobipanti)

Post #: 7

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 5:32:09 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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OP, I don't know why men are different than women here in your view...

I consider strength to be the ability to get back up when life knocks you down. The stronger the individuals, the more setback they can handle and the quicker they can get back up.

I don't consider crying to be a sign of weakness as a coping mechanism or a release. I consider the use of addictions such as drugs or drinking as coping mechanisms, to be a sign of weakness.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 8

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 6:30:21 AM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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I simply cannot generalize in this area, all I can to is evaluate how certain reactions or behaviors impact Me, match what I seek or support what I need--its an individual by individual situation.

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 9

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 6:56:53 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobipanti

A man that can cry and who is able to openly show his emotions is a strong human being.

Why?

I not think being able to show emotions is a good indicator of either strength nor weakness per se. It's just that somebody is able to express emotions.

You have to look at the whole person to figure out strength and weakness. Everybody has both strength and weakness.

Some people will cry over spilled milk, does that mean they are strong because they can cry?

Some people have learned to show emotions to gain attention and sympathy, as well. So thier expression of emotion is nothing more than learned behavior to get attention.

However, yes being able to show emotions when you are truely hurt, or your feelings in itself is not too bad.

Now, I will say this as well. There are times when I did not express emotions because I needed to be the anchor for those around me. In short, when everybody else is an emotional wreck they are looking for somebody to turn to. So yeah, I would feel the same thing as they did. However, I would let loose and cry in private at a later time. People do have control over when to grieve or not.

It actually takes strength to hold your own emotions in check and cry later on in private. So just somebody showing emotions is by no means an indicator of strength or weakness.

Just because somebody cries or shows emotions does not mean they are either strong nor weak in my book.

It's best not to judge if a person is strong or weak by the display of emotions alone. You have to look at the whole picture and the whole person.

Hope this gives something for people to think about.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 10

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 7:03:37 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It actually takes strength to hold your own emotions in check and cry later on in private. So just somebody showing emotions is by no means an indicator of strength or weakness.

Not always, sometimes people misread it hold emotions when actually it is far better for the person to actually express them, they hide them in an attempt to appear strong and actually look cold, heartless and uncaring. Also bottling emotions to appear strong can be catastrophic, I can hide my emotions increadably well around people, but then self destruct when alone, I do not consider that a strength.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 11

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 7:21:49 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It actually takes strength to hold your own emotions in check and cry later on in private. So just somebody showing emotions is by no means an indicator of strength or weakness.

Not always, sometimes people misread it hold emotions when actually it is far better for the person to actually express them, they hide them in an attempt to appear strong and actually look cold, heartless and uncaring. Also bottling emotions to appear strong can be catastrophic, I can hide my emotions increadably well around people, but then self destruct when alone, I do not consider that a strength.

That also holds true too. :-) Which is why I think it's best to look at the whole person.

You're right keeping things bottled up and exploding later is not healthy, neither is quickly reacting to things either. However, the emotion you are nailing (i believe) in your post is that of personal hurt which can lead to feelings of anger and resentment.

Okay, let's say for instance the family dog just got ran over by a car, and everybody is freaking out, crying hestical crazy and is upset. Somebody has to be calm and collected to attend to the dog, see how bad the injuries are. Make collected phone calls to get the animal to the vet. Sure, it's okay to shed a tear in the process. However, everybody around including the animal needs somebody to be emotionally grounded. This is the type of emotional control and check I was speaking about when I made my post.

I was trying to cover a lot of different situations, in the things I was writting about based upon my own life experiences without any single minded focus of projecting one particular thing.

It is not healthy to keep emotions bottled up.

In the case above, let's say the animal needs to put to sleep cause the injuries are so bad. Somebody needs to be able to drive everybody else back home and be in charge of shit. Allowing your emotions to get the best of your while driving is the same as driving drunk. Which can be another point to be made. There is a lot of positives that can be said for something called emotional control.

Emotional control verses keeping something bottled up are not one in the same.

I've been through things in life where I was the one everybody was counting on. Okay so later on I would allow or permit myself to loose it crying in the backyard down by the pond or some place.

So yes, at times being the Dominant one, or fearless leader does require the abilitity to be able to maintain level of emotional control, again not to be confused with keeping things bottled up until you reach a point of exploding.

I sort of rest my case, in regards to the original point I was attempting to make.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 12

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 7:30:09 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Antheia

I have read , in several of the forums, that men are supposed to be strong. That if they show any weakness they just aren't " good enough". Ok my questions are these.
In your opinion

What makes a man weak? What makes him strong?
Is it alright for him to show emotions? To cry? At a sad movie or a sad song or watching his child achieve something?

Now in my own opinion we all have weaknesses. And yes they eventually show through to other people. And so what. No one is strong in every aspect of their lives. All the time.We all have chinks in our armor no matter how "superhuman" we think we are. Men too. I have seen men who watch a sad or happy ending movie and who shed a tear. Do I lose respect for those men? No. I see them as having a heart and not afraid to show it. I see them as not trying to hide certain aspects of themselves from everyone. I see them as just as strong as any of the self proclaimed "superhumans"

Ok enough of a rant. What are others opinions here?
Thank you
A.

My opinion is that it's a free world (for which I am forever grateful). Men, women and transgendered persons can be anyway they want to be as far as I am concerned. So as you say weak, strong, emotional, good , bad etc.
It's not even a debate least of all a discussion IMO.

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(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 13

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 7:30:50 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

I agree (I wasn't picking honest)

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 14

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 7:48:36 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
I agree (I wasn't picking honest)

It's okay to pick you know. :-) Picking and pulling a subject apart like this is an awesome thing. Hell, look at what you just contributed to the thread.
Posting on a topic like this, is a bit like looking at water glass. Is it half full or half empty.
It can be very dangerous for somebody to keep emotions bottled up, without expressing it.
Some people however simply are not as emotional as other people as well.

I've known people that were not all that emotional about things, and they were not bottling anything up. It's just the fact they are not as emotionally driven as other people are.

Which is another facet to things. Personality types. Some people simply are very emotional and others are not. For some people they simply are more like Star Trek vulcans to begin with.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 15

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 8:19:32 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Agreed, there is a time and place.
But a man who can never feel any emotions, never express them in a safe place to someone who loves him isn't someone I want to be with.
Because totally bottled up emotions will come out in some form; most likely depression and/or anger. And neither of those are good things.

If I am to be able to feel safe being emotionally vulnerable to him, then I need him to be emotionally vulnerable to me.

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(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 16

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 9:11:18 AM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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Nope I don't like crying... I fight it with all my might...I like women crying even less...I feel helpless when they do.

I think crying is all hormones... and hormones are what separates us... but hormone levels change... I know the older I get the harder not to cry... Ever notice old men...they cry at the drop of a hat... hormones.

Butch

_____________________________

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(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 17

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 9:22:54 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
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crying is just an external expression of soemthing bothering inside you
you can stop the crying..but not the feeling inside.
( but hiding can be handy by times)

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 18

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 9:43:01 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Wow... any weakness at all? Holy crap it's a good thing I've already deluded Carol into thinking that I'm a great master because I have a ton of weaknesses and I'm not particularly shy about showing them.

A dear friend of mine gave me this definition for strenght: Strength is the ability to engage in legitimate suffering.

I kind of like that .

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 19

RE: Weak, strong, emotional, good , bad all that - 7/26/2009 9:59:31 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Antheia

What makes a man weak?

The fixation with needing to appear not to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Antheia
What makes him strong?

The self-honest ability to be weak.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to Antheia)

Post #: 20

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