DemonKia
Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007 From: Chico, Nor-Cali Status: offline
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FR, after read thru Huh. I don't generally think about 'honor', in large part because that particular word has a lot of baggage attached to it. 'Honor duels', for instance, have kinda degraded it, for me (& long before the current silliness here on CM) . . . . . . I tend to think of it's component parts far more than this more, to me, abstract notion of honor. I went & looked it up, tho', just to be a little more sure about my thinking in this: honor, noun: 1 high respect; esteem -- a person or thing that brings credit -- adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct. & 2 a privilege -- an exalted position -- a thing conferred as a distinction, esp. an official award for bravery or achievement & 3 [dated] a woman's chastity or her reputation for this . . . . Yeah, that last is one of the significant reasons I'm not terribly impressed with the word 'honor' as a specifier of something, cuz it's got this gender asymmetrical baggage attached that takes on a new flavor of weirdness, for me, in this forum. Now, as for 'respect', that's a term I can wrap my head around: respect, noun: 1 a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements -- due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of . . . . I like to be respected, especially with regard to that last definition of respect, & I cannot stay in intimate relationship with people I don't have quite a bit of respect for, from experience . . . . . . But it's an ongoing process, rather than some goal-state one attains & can then rest on one's laurels over ... . . . & a significant chunk of what I respect, outside of that 'due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of' part, is a rather wholistic & enormous honesty . . . . . & fairness, however ambiguous & difficult that might be to ascertain for an individual or a social group, is an ideal I find very important . . . . . & education, formal or self-taught, is also a significant concern for me, one that touches strongly on all the rest. It's tough to respect ignorance, & insult is pretty regularly given out of thoughtless ignorance . ... . . & frankly, compassion & empathy probably rank up way higher on my meter than a lot of 'tougher' standards . . . . . .. As for the 'standing up for one's honor' part, well, I have this thing about effectiveness, especially with regards to communication. If I think people are talking shite & that my stating non-shite might effectively be understood & received, I'll probably speak up. Otherwise, I'll probably just remove myself from the situation . . .. . If the totalitarians with guns, of whatever stripe, show up at my door, I'll turn my competence to neither cooperating with them nor allowing them to kill me, to whatever degree that's possible. & I've always quite liked Heinlein's notion that the truly free cannot be enslaved, they can merely be killed. That, & Obi-Wan Kanobi's idea that in death, there is more, & if I am struck down it may only make me more rather than less, but that's a serious digression there . .. . . . Suffice to say that death is neither something I particularly fear, nor something I work at seeking out . . ... But then, I'm not really thinking that totalitarians with guns showing up at doors en masse is a terribly likely proposition, despite the dire prophecies of all kinds of people all of my adult life; I used to be way more into survivalist kinds of thinking in my dissolute youth, but I finally gave it up for the betterment of my mental health, it was a very anxious & depressing mind-space for me to be in . . . . . . & contrarily, I value 'sense of humor' up there with 'respect', while noting that they can be oppositional entities. Humor is frequently disrespectful, & I appreciate those who can laugh at themselves, which carries with it a certain eau d'disrespect for self . ... . . (I'd hazard to say that that intrinsic dilemma of self-deprecating humor is part of why some excessively serious & self-respecting persons cannot seem to laugh at themselves . . . . . ) Part of what sets my teeth on edge with the concept of honor is that it implies, to me, a kind of hard-edged rigidity, an either-or, get in this box or that one flavor to it that I have a hard time with. I'm way too middle-of-the-mess, grey-amorpous-ambivalent about so many things that I can't relate to that more hard-core perspective that seems packed into the idea of 'fighting for the honor of _________' . . . . .
< Message edited by DemonKia -- 7/27/2009 3:52:24 PM >
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Snarko ergo sum. The Verbossinator
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