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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:06:15 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rainfire

Never heard of a heated water trough? Saves on the booze bill, leaves more vodka for us!  
ever see the price of those suckers?

And the bovines got the cheap stuff (ripple)...saved the Absolut for us hoomins


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:06:30 AM   
mdr080480


Posts: 4646
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

I am a neat person, orderly,

i can vouch for him on that. Btw...notice when i slept in your room, i made my bed, unlike Tat *snickers as the rumors start*


Good times!



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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:21:36 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I have had good houseguests and bad houseguests. 

I had one that did the dishes, bought me a coffee everyday, drove me to class, and did not leave his things lying around. 

I had one that I Fabreezed. 

It is a sad sad thing when you have to make bathing daily a house rule. 

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:26:59 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		extremely unhygienic woman with skin problem = skid marks on sheets..stink and
a ring around the guest tub of ...yep..solid skin scales..solidified..I barfed
fuk..

GQ

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:41:11 AM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		when i was very young i had a Halloween Party , one  male guest stayed for a year, raided my botle of change every day  was lazy used to  leave he gas  fire on all night and the  television( back in the days the tv would shut down in the early hours and just send a tone)- i convinced him after cold shouldering him that my Master had the hots for him....and as such i was hugely jealous...one night when the tv was doing its DOOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOooo tone into the small  hours my Master crossly got up and went to turn it off and coudnt reach so straddled the other mans bed to turn off the tv *naked* and the young fella woke up with  my masters naked groin over his face and decided he was raped/dead/all of the above.....and screaming like a girl  had a complete fit and moved out  next day......

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 8:47:37 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

extremely unhygienic woman with skin problem = skid marks on sheets..stink and
a ring around the guest tub of ...yep..solid skin scales..solidified..I barfed
fuk..

GQ


We have a winner!

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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 9:26:58 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FlipFlip

Ok i was still in the middle of my couch surfing days, i like to think i was an ok house guest, cooking cleaning up (occasionally) and generally trying to stay out of everyone's way. When they have another unexpected guest. So my friends have 2 extra people in there 2 bedroom apartment, making the total 5. ( The people living there were a couple and a single dude) I start looking for other digs to give my mates some piece of mind, on the day before i move out i walk into the toilet to find the other guest had OD'd on heroin.


So. You didn't need to move out after all!


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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 9:57:03 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		do tenants count who almost manage to burn our house down???

Maybe not, as they are not guest as such...though they are guests to live there as tenants...either way, some years ago I just came back from Ireland (my first mistake to ever leave my country) and had a rest...the doorbell rang...and I took a moment to think about if I should open or not...(kind of, I just came back from abroad, so it can't be for me anyway, why should I bother to get up to open the door)...However, once I made my mind up and decided to open the door...there was nobody...BUT there was a police car in front of our house...in our road...hmmm...how likely is it now that this car is not for us, considering that this road has only 4 houses...25% chance to be the chosen one I guess...

however, a moment later a police officer came (who due to me taking my time to open the door already went to our tenant underneath to have a check if there is someone at home) and asked me where Miss XYZ is...so I was asking him "Which one" (my mum...or me?..thinking...I know I did not do anything, it can't be because of me)...

He then said the one who the other house belongs to...phew...thats for my mum. He then told me that there was a fire and asked about insurance details where I then called my mum at work and gave him the phone (I don't know such stuff from my parents...).

However to cut a long story short a 13 year old son from our tenants was asked to put the fire on in our chimney as his mum was tired after she came home from work...(nothing dangerous as such and something my brother and I got told to do all our lives)...however, he wasn't to pleased about that task and decided to experiment a bit...which then...yep, went out of control...

Now instead of letting his mum know about that she can intervene he decided to close our door from the hallway down to the cellar, kind of "when I shut the door behind me then nobody will know there is a fire...."

well, needless to say, that tactic didn't work for long for that boy and at some point his mum was wondered where that smell was coming from...and when she opened the door to the cellar...well, she knew

She then decided to join her son in the club of "VIP - very "intelligent" person" and decided to open the windows upstairs as one of her first actions...as if there would be no "chimney affect" at all with doing so...however as far as I remember she realised that this was not a good move and shut them before she went outside with her kids but once the fire crew came she pronounced once again to be a VIP as she lead the fireteam through the house down to the cellar (instead of using simply the cellar door from the outside of the house where they would be there in a split second, she preferred to send the firemen through half of the house).

According to her she thought the house will be ashes as she could see smoke coming out from everywhere (so I don't know maybe she hadn't closed the windows upstairs after all) and the damage was pretty high and our lovely party room is not really the one anymore which we used over two decades at home...It is still there but I have never seen the end product, how now builders did it,whereas when I was young my dad and his friends did it (the walls were plastered with wood) and this room was simply always our room for every birthday and new year celebrations...and now with having it done by some neutral folks...its just not the same anymore. The son of our tenants had luck that he was not 14, because in Germany he so got away with it without being chased by the insurance company to pay back...damn law should start at 12...

I have one more story about a class mate who drove me up the wall...but need some time to re-capture this as this is quite a while back...gosh she got on my nerves. Will post it in the next days.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 10:46:15 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: immoral

when i was very young i had a Halloween Party , one  male guest stayed for a year, raided my botle of change every day  was lazy used to  leave he gas  fire on all night and the  television( back in the days the tv would shut down in the early hours and just send a tone)- i convinced him after cold shouldering him that my Master had the hots for him....and as such i was hugely jealous...one night when the tv was doing its DOOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOooo tone into the small  hours my Master crossly got up and went to turn it off and coudnt reach so straddled the other mans bed to turn off the tv *naked* and the young fella woke up with  my masters naked groin over his face and decided he was raped/dead/all of the above.....and screaming like a girl  had a complete fit and moved out  next day......



Oh nice! The old "balls in the face" trick eh?
Up in Boston in my younger days things like this ended up with the miscreant's stuff thrown out on the front lawn or sidewalk and two or three rugged guys "suggesting" that he, "better fuckin' leave right now if he knows what's good for him."
"The Bum's Rush." Due to those people's,...."associations" the cops were *never* called.
This is why I donate money to homeless shelters, so people like that will have a place to go when they need it.
I have too many firearms in the place to be taking in strangers. Unless it's a female who I'm romantically involved with I don't do "roomates."
A lot of the people who do that kind of stuff are mentally ill or borderline. Do you want someone in your home like that? You never know what they're going to do.
I haven't been asked but if I am I'll just tell them that there's some nice bridges off of rt 544 where they could camp out or give them directions to the Coastal Rescue Mission. Ha, ha, I can just see them singing hymns with a scoul on their faces before they get their bowl of gruel! "Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep..."
"Now brother smells real bad, tell us how you got here!"
Don't do it! People like that will take advantage of you and probably steal from you too.
And yes, everyone got a big kick out of GreedyT's story last year! I remember her telling me that the guy's best friend was her couch and that he didn't move too fast! lol

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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 3:44:22 PM   
FlipFlip


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

Story ends.
i'm sorry....could you repeat that story??? i totally missed it. Something about your abs, innit?
~objectifying tulip


actually it was about my beach ball, have you seen it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD5O0TYeaqQ&feature=related

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 3:59:34 PM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FlipFlip

Ok i was still in the middle of my couch surfing days, i like to think i was an ok house guest, cooking cleaning up (occasionally) and generally trying to stay out of everyone's way. When they have another unexpected guest. So my friends have 2 extra people in there 2 bedroom apartment, making the total 5. ( The people living there were a couple and a single dude) I start looking for other digs to give my mates some piece of mind, on the day before i move out i walk into the toilet to find the other guest had OD'd on heroin.
Story ends.




Soo.. uhh.. dude. Did that free up a spot so you could stay?

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 4:12:36 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Soo.. uhh.. dude. Did that free up a spot so you could stay?

Dark cloud, silver lining type aren't You SP?

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 4:45:48 PM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		My own story goes back some 20 years. A friend of my now ex-wife, single mother, 7 year old boy, 9 year old girl, no idea where their father is, lost her job (not her fault, of course) evicted, the whole nine yards. The little girl was an angel, much more help around the house than her mother was. The little boy made Dennis the Menace and Bart Simpson look like Boy Scouts.

This kid never met a roll of toilet paper he liked. Instead he used my hand towels to wipe his ass. Fortunately, I tend to look before I leap and I have an excellent sense of smell, thus I never got doodie all over myself when all I wanted to do was dry my hands or face.

The young lad also had this habit of denying any wrong doing by blaming "the bad me". So .. now there were two of him, not just one.

Despite my protestations, my wife insisted we help out someone who was only going to be there a few weeks.

They blessed my home for about 2 months. One day, after a rather bad day at work, I came home to find that my own little angel, all of 4 years old, had drawn all over her bedroom walls with Crayon. When I asked her why she would commit such a heinous act, she replied: "I didn't do it, daddy. It was 'the bad me'."

I went insane. My wife hadn't noticed the lovely art work that now adorned our angel's bedroom. I told her what our daughter had said, and FINALLY she joined me a massive meltdown.

Our guest and her children weren't there at the time, so we packed all her things and sat them on the curb. When she arrived, we allowed her to use our phone, from the front porch, to call someone, anyone to pick her up.

About an hour later a friend of her's, from her new job, arrives and loads up her truck. The house guest had been spending a lot of time with this new friend, she and the kids would leave Friday and come back Sunday. This went on for a few weeks, probably in anticipation of what was about to happen.

After getting things loaded, the new friend has the nerve to chastise us for throwing this helpless woman and her children out on the street! She also said we should be ashamed of how we treated someone who was less fortunate than we were. By the way, we put the oke in broke. It turns out the house guest had been telling her new friend how we took her entire paycheck and how I savagely beat her son. The truth? Aside from an occasional $20 donation we never saw any attempt to really help with bills. As for beating her son, God knows I would have enjoyed that more than I should probably admit, but alas, I denied myself such pleasures.

I told her to get the hell off of my property and that in one month, if she still felt the way she did, she could come back, yell at me some more, and I'd gladly write her a $10,000 check. Okay .. I didn't have $500 to my name, but I wanted to make a point.

Three weeks later, the good samaritan came back. She apologized for everything she said the first time she met us. I couldn't resist. I said, "oh, got a face full of shit, did ya?" She turned several shades of green. I had my answer.

< Message edited by SoulPiercer -- 7/28/2009 4:47:43 PM >

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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 4:56:30 PM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

Soo.. uhh.. dude. Did that free up a spot so you could stay?

Dark cloud, silver lining type aren't You SP?


Come on, nikki. That's one of the math problems on the Amy Winehouse version of the SAT.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 4:59:12 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

My boss (an idiot) was staying here for a short time until his new house was ready.

We were having one of the coldest winters i can remember, the temp were well below freezing. He kindly filled the watering trough for the cattle and horses. I asked him to add a half cup of vodka to the water to keep it from freezing. In his farming experience (none) he just KNEW a half cup was not enough so he added enough to get the cows drunk.

MOOOOOOOoooooohicooooooooo........



I guess that gives a new meaning to the term of "Happy Cows." My apologies to the California Cheese Board.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 5:27:44 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Holly----How does one know a cow is drunk? 

Hmmmm, houseguest horror story.  A friend from when my ex- was in the Marine Corps, his 2nd wife, and her kid needed a place to stay.  They'd FUBAR'ed their finances and decided to give the fabulous East Coast a whirl and left California. 
Now, I'd seen their place in California and the female had mold growing various places in the kitchen (She was a SAHM, so household stuff was her responsibility) and the place was otherwise a pig-stye.  So, there was a no cooking in my (Yes, I am a territorial female with females I don't like) kitchen clause to the offer of a place to stay to get on their feet again.  I bought all of the special food she requested for the kid (Puzzled as to why a 2 year old should be eating so much processed food but inexperienced with kids at that time) and made hearty, home-cooked meals that all they needed to do was nuke. 
Light colored carpet, so asked that the child not drink outside of the kitchen (Even sippy cups drip).  Bought a booster seat for the kid, yadda, yadda, yadda. 
Despite these accommodations and requests, I noticed the house getting in disarray (She wasn't working and he was barely) and the meat was disappearing form the freezer. 
Came home several times to screaming fights betwen the two of them where doors were bieng slammed, the child was howlling in terror, fun stuff like that. 
My ex- and I wound up sitting at the end of our bed one day looking at each other and finally I said, "F*&k this!  This doesn't happen in our house."  And, I went upstairs and asked our friend to come out of their room and have a word with me. 
Oh, a pleasant aside, used diapers on my antique bedroom furniture in the room they were using. 
I told him that, first and foremost, what they were doing in fornt of the kid wasn't okay, that she was terrified and they needed to cut it out.  I also told them that the door slamming sh!t was going to stop and that if one of our catshad been walking through at the time, he or she would have been seriously injured or killed.  I told him that if I heard another door slam, they were out. 
I gave her the same schpiel, adding that if they wanted specific meals, let me know but that the kitchen was not to be used other than for nuking things and feeding the kid. 
They stayed awhile, her sneaking in my kitchen and blowing the food budget all asunder.  And, they never offered a cent to help with bills...in fact, we loaned them money before they moved out from California to settle their rent.  His first paycheck, I recall their going to WalMart and buying over $50 in junk food.  Not a dime offered to us. 
I came home from work one evening after she'd cooked in my kitchen yet again and she'd gotten some miraculous urge to clean the counter tops and dragged a piece of tile across the counter-tops, scratching it.  I was so angry that my ears were rining.  I told my ex- I needed to go out for a bit lest I become abusive. 
So, I went for a drive and thought about how ludicrous it was that I left my own house because of those people. 
My displeasure was conveyed to them, apparently, as the female had arranged, through her parents, plane tickets for her and the kid back to California and the guy was gone soon after. 
Damage to our house, money owed and never seen but boy, were we glad to see them gone: with the exception of the 2 year old.  My ex-, who hated kids, got misty at the thought of her leaving; I think he felt genuinely bad for the little one. 
  Davan

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RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 5:44:42 PM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer
Three weeks later, the good samaritan came back. She apologized for everything she said the first time she met us. I couldn't resist. I said, "oh, got a face full of shit, did ya?" She turned several shades of green. I had my answer.


<---- Literally. I was LOUD with my laughter at that one.


But serious, man you are a better person than I. Were they my handtowels, the little shit (no pun intended) would be wearing them around his neck.


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'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 7:35:12 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		........i have a lodger right now...shes leaving any day........... will i  offer my home again?....nope.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 7:43:11 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		I don't have any horror stories about house guests... Either I'm too much of a bitch to offer up my spare room or I just know better.

However, I will direct them to the local hotel heck, I'd even get the phone number for them.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Houseguest Horror Stories - 7/28/2009 7:59:39 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		OK, my story:

Back when I was still married the first time, my now ex was a gamer, and it wasnt unusual for his gamer friends to crash on our couch for a day or two, especially before and after tournaments so we could carpool there and back. It was often said I was the best wife ever since I never complained about them being there as long as they knew to stay out of the bedroom, that was my space. They had free run of the place otherwise.

We had a stretch of 3 or 4 weekend tournaments in a row, and one of my ex's buddies was up from FL stayng in OH with us. He was, as usual, crashing on the couch during the week (he was a student and out of school for the holiday break which was why we were able to have so many tourneys in so short a time) and then splitting the driving with us come tournament time. He didnt help with food, but he did do dishes so I wasnt too annoyed. He was a sweet guy, quick witha  compliment about how I looked or how great my cooking was. My ex wasnt the jealous type, so no red flags. Just an appreciative guy. The way the other SOs acted, I was a goddess to them. I was even staff at their events, so this guys lavishing attention wasnt odd.

So, all was great until I run home from work one lunch break because I left my credit card home. I come in, and the door to my bedroom is open. He is laying on our bed, naked, and jerking off into my panties. He has a pair of my used ones from the laundry over his face, and he is so involved with what he is doing he doesnt even know I am there. I yelled "What the HELL do you think you are doing?" I called my ex, while this guy followed me around the apartment bawling that he couldnt help himself and he thinks he is in love with me...

Needless to say, the common practice of crashing at our house came to a rather abrupt end.

DV


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10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

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(in reply to Rainfire)
Profile   Post #: 40
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