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RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:02:11 AM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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Then I'd say, get dressed sexy, go to a bar, flirt, have some fun, go home alone--same diff--except those guys haven't invested much time or emotion in a gamer--

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 21

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:05:21 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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OP, your fantasy has two elements - denial, followed by a forceful taking. Then it ends.

My first thought is that you might want to try a submissive man. They're abundant, and a lot have similar fantasies of denial. With the sort of fantasy that you have, you should try being a Domme and seeing how that role suits you.

The second part of your fantasy violates two people. You are obviously violated, but so is the Dom, who has lost one of a Dom's most valuable qualities - self-control.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 22

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:06:27 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

It's a screwy and silly way to behave if you are actually looking for a serious MUTUAL relationship.

It IS actually possible to *dom* without sexual intimacy and it occurs all the time.

And yes, I DO know others out there that do this ....we tend to describe them as *immature*, no matter what age they are. My teenage sons would have you pegged in a heartbeat and you'll reap the maturity level you sow, in your prospective *men/doms*.

Antipode is correct. If you can carry it off, you've been successful....at having fun and games with the least brightest crayons in the box.

agirl

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 23

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:20:57 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
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To the op...Then I would say that your relationships/dates doen't last much past the second one smile,for in theses days and time a man or woman doesn't do without sex for very long, of course some may just want thewir house cleaned or dinner cooked..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 24

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 5:31:08 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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I've been rereading your post and there are a number of things I see as just way too off.

Doms are still able to Dom when no sex or intimacy is involved. Would not take too much Rocket Science for somebody to figure out something was a little off or not right, and they would be asking questions and seeing through the excuses. As somebody else expressed don't believe that a Dom is going to be an idiot.

Just because you express a desire to have rough rape sex, does not mean you ain't gonna get the experience you are seeking. Just might happen, if your partner knows about this ahead of time and there's a Green Go ahead light. Some Doms require this before allowing themselves to be in the right head space to do this to you.

Also, how the hell do you plan on keeping your rape urges and fantasies secret for so long? Generally this stuff kind of slips out if you are comfortable with somebody. If you are not comfortable with somebody and on guard this will be sending out Red Flags to a Dominant that something is a little off.

There are a lot of things you are assuming that is a little unrealistic. Also the aspect or element of self control. Manipulating like this will push your Dom Partners own limits. Don't be suprise if you get that ANGRY reaction, only they won't be taking it out on you with rough sex. Angry words and hurt emotions along with storming out the door, kicking your ass out the door, or the quick ending of a Dinner.

Your manipulation tactics will provoke frustration and you are trying to bank on it turning sexual.

Hell, somebody might loose interest in you think you are just a nice girl who's a frigid bitch.. you are setting yourself up to become greatly misunderstood here.

Don't think a Dom won't be trying to get you to warm up. Making out. Engaging in kissing and telling you how to do it better or whatever. There will be sexual or advances to break that frigid ice princess persona you are putting on. Whatever lies you tell, will be assumed to be truth for awhile. The Dominant will go with those things and try working with you based upon the lies you tell them.

Sooner or later, the truth will come out. Let's say you get your fantasy fillfulled, then what after that? Sooner or later the truth will come out, and be prepared for possible relationship fallout. You'll be right back to square one. Sooner or later the Dominant will figure out, or you'll slip up and the truth will spill out.

Cock teasing is a perfectly good word to describe what you are up to.

Angry, Unforgiving sex? It's more likely to Lead to an Angry Unforgiving "Fuck Off" instead of sex.

So if you want to be totally misunderstood, have somebody investing time in trying to help you over come the false issues you are presenting, If you want somebody to get pissed off at you. You might find yourself being verbally humilated the real deal for your manipulation tactics.

You should spend some time in serious thought about this..

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 25

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 6:26:24 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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nicky,

If you choose carefully you may find someone who will lose it and take you by force, just as you designed.
It may sound hot but the reality may prove to be much different than you expect.

You may find that the realised rape fantasy that you crave (which could be achievable with planning and negotiation) is far different from the reality of sex against your will...is far different than actual rape.
The reality is that if he loses it and rapes you it will likely hurt alot; he will likely injure you.
What happens if while this is happening he loses complete control and accidently kills you?

I don't think you really want a D/s relationship.
I think you see men as weak and pathetic and what appeals to you is seeing a man _try_ to dominate you.

Good luck finding your Rhett.
(He is in the library under fiction.)

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 26

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 6:48:28 AM

rednicky

Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
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Well I won't say I wasn't expecting this. I knew I was wrong. I was just hoping I wasn't really alone and that this was a common fantasy for at least quite a few women. But I guess I'm alone in this. I've never brought such a thing to fruition because I wanted to talk about it first with people who know more about D/s than I probably ever will. Though I'm surprised that so many would discover my motives so soon, were I to end up in such a relationship. I dunno why but taking away some power from a man who feels he has all the power really interests me. Of course this wouldn't last forever and, in the end, I would genuinely want him to be my dominant that I serve. But not before watching all of what I described take place.

I hadn't pegged that sex would be just that to so many people: sex. I understand those who say they'd say "fuck it" and find someone else. I don't understand those who'd keep me but have someone around specifically designed for sexual pleasure. Amongst many conversations I've had with my father, he's said that eventually men lose interest in just having sex and want someone special and close to their heart to have sex with. Especially when they get older. Empty sex that is only built for pleasure gets stale after a while. At least that's what he said. Perhaps there was some mistake. But what he said is partly why I expect the guy in my hypothetical example to, sort of, stick it out. Imagine a girl who is the greatest thing to be around but simply said she wants to hold off on the intimacy and sex talk until she's more comfortable. Sure, it may take a while but I hadn't expected so many of you to take that as a warning and get out of the relationship. I mean, what if I was serious in wanting to take things slow? How could you tell the difference between someone who seriously wants to take things slow and someone who is manipulating?

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 27

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 6:51:47 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
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quote:

I mean, what if I was serious in wanting to take things slow? How could you tell the difference between someone who seriously wants to take things slow and someone who is manipulating?

She has other life values, behaviors, actions that support the taking it slow approach--a manipulator IMHO can't live that lie for that long.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 28

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 6:58:24 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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rednicky the flaw in your scenario is that you are not honest... you are lying to your man...who is not really your Dom but your victim...
so instead of falling in love or feeling mutual desire you are setting about to twirl him around your little finger...which is really not what you want anyway... you are allready becoming a casualty of your own dishonesty... finally you wish to drive him to rape you which will only result in both your trust being totally damaged... now there is no more chance of a good relationship and most likely you will both feel totally hurt.... I mean honesty where is the fun in this? Love has to be fun for it to work...didn't your father tell you that too?

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 29

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:10:49 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I don't understand those who'd keep me but have someone around specifically designed for sexual pleasure. Amongst many conversations I've had with my father, he's said that eventually men lose interest in just having sex and want someone special and close to their heart to have sex with. Especially when they get older. Empty sex that is only built for pleasure gets stale after a while. At least that's what he said.

This may be true... for some.

What you arent seeing is that this sex toy is real and honest with her emotions, giving him what he needs and craves. eventually, she may just capture his heart, leaving the manipulative bitch out in the cold.

what i forsee in your future is a man you actually will grown to care for deeply.. who manipulates better than you do. you play that game, you get raped, and he walks out the door never to return. and we will all have to put up with the posts about that from you about how you were wronged.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 30

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:11:37 AM

rednicky

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Well I'm not necessarily trying to turn being with me into a chore. We'd have lots of fun and hopefully a love would blossom. Just without sex until I was ready. You're right angel. I like watching a man 'try' to dominate me. But I would love to find one who would Dominate me 'without' trying, thus dominating me anyway! confusing I know. And as far as I can tell, men like that only exist in books. What I'd find even MORE tantalizing than the scheme I presented earlier is him beating me at my own game. Let's say I am in a relationship with a guy and let him know I want to take things slow. And let's say he goes along with it and doesn't even let the word 'sex' leave his lips. This would cause 'my' frustration of his lack of frustration, leading me to probably crack after a few months and tearfully letting him know how much I want him. A confession which is followed by the best sex ever.

Now I can't explain that. One minute I want him to suffer, the next I want him to conquer me in every way without 'my' knowing it. And it's left me confused. I know I want a Dominant man. I just don't know how to go about it. Maybe I should just jump in and see. But I want to be as prepared as possible. And I don't know quite what to do with these fantasies.

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 31

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:17:03 AM

rednicky

Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
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I just realized a connection in pretty much every fantasy I've had. I like to play the victim. That I 'really' can't explain. I'm a true troll on the inside and out. But what can I do about that? Sure I can 'stop' pretending I am the victim and that the world is against me. But I feel that would lead me down the road of asexuality and unhappiness. I dunno know what to do about that.

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 32

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:17:20 AM

tazzygirl

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Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Well I'm not necessarily trying to turn being with me into a chore. We'd have lots of fun and hopefully a love would blossom. Just without sex until I was ready. You're right angel. I like watching a man 'try' to dominate me. But I would love to find one who would Dominate me 'without' trying, thus dominating me anyway! confusing I know. And as far as I can tell, men like that only exist in books. What I'd find even MORE tantalizing than the scheme I presented earlier is him beating me at my own game. Let's say I am in a relationship with a guy and let him know I want to take things slow. And let's say he goes along with it and doesn't even let the word 'sex' leave his lips. This would cause 'my' frustration of his lack of frustration, leading me to probably crack after a few months and tearfully letting him know how much I want him. A confession which is followed by the best sex ever.

Now I can't explain that. One minute I want him to suffer, the next I want him to conquer me in every way without 'my' knowing it. And it's left me confused. I know I want a Dominant man. I just don't know how to go about it. Maybe I should just jump in and see. But I want to be as prepared as possible. And I don't know quite what to do with these fantasies.

i can tell you what to do with those fantasies. stop reading whatever books you have that are putting them into your head. D/s, M/s ect.. isnt a fantasy. Two (or more for that poly set ) is about real people, real emotions. it isnt a game, even when games are being played. you sound more like a switch than submissive. and thats not a dig. i want no sexual control. i adore giving up control. and, yes, i met that man who didnt allow sex to cross his lips, and he kept me crawling after him for years. but i never played games.

you are coming across as if you believe you are the best thing to walk into his life. remember, you may be hot, you may be fun, you may be sweet..... dominant men tend to look for more than just the superficial.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 33

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:23:33 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

nicky, go out and just try stuff. Some of your fantasies have you with the control, and some with the man having control. Just get together with Doms, subs, and switches and see how your interactions play out.

I suspect that you;re really a switch who's trying to get all your fantasies filled by one guy. Try out the fantasies and see how you react, and you'll know which ones you like and which ones you don't. And what kind of man meets your needs.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 34

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:24:35 AM

FawneTwo

Posts: 98
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
How could you tell the difference between someone who seriously wants to take things slow and someone who is manipulating?

That's actually is a really good question. Are you sure you aren't asking how to take things slowly - without manipulation?

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 35

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:31:50 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

A lot of your posts are about manipulating other people and playing games within "your" relationships. You may want to sit down and examine that.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to FawneTwo)

Post #: 36

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 7:33:57 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

Oh boy . . .

I agree, I don' think the OP's scenario is viable; as has been pointed out, only an idiot could fail to see how manipulative she is. It has been my experience that people this manipulative are like that in more ways than you can name, and tend not to be aware of it themselves.

And am I the only one offended by the assumption that if a male wants you badly enough, eventually he will rape you?

IMO the OP has some deep emotional issues and needs to see a therapist. If those issues don't get resolved, she's going to attract someone with equally deep issues and the results will be the stuff we read about on the news.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 37

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 8:10:44 AM

rednicky

Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FawneTwo

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
How could you tell the difference between someone who seriously wants to take things slow and someone who is manipulating?

That's actually is a really good question. Are you sure you aren't asking how to take things slowly - without manipulation?

Well what I want is the end result and I feel manipulation is my only want to get it. I hear so many (true) stories about how a man who has pretty much everything and could get anyone lusts after the girl who is friendly and sweet but not attracted (or at least she lets on so). Or maybe the man lusts after a house maid or a co-worker. A person who is seemingly off limits, though she's kind and likable enough. And his desire for her grows as the days pass. Especially when all of his intentions go unnoticed. Then his passion finally erupts and he does something like steal a kiss when alone. It's Happened to my friends. It happened in high school with others. It's happened to co workers in the past (very romantic story to tell btw). I want it to happen to me. But I don't know how unless I'm already in a relationship where I 'know' his intentions. what I want is suppose to happen by chance like everyone I've known it to happen to. But it's not working out that way. So what's left? manipulation.

With me, it's not about taking things slowly. I'm just not interested in sex unless it happens like this.

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to FawneTwo)

Post #: 38

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 8:14:20 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Well I won't say I wasn't expecting this. I knew I was wrong. I was just hoping I wasn't really alone and that this was a common fantasy for at least quite a few women. But I guess I'm alone in this. I've never brought such a thing to fruition because I wanted to talk about it first with people who know more about D/s than I probably ever will. Though I'm surprised that so many would discover my motives so soon, were I to end up in such a relationship. I dunno why but taking away some power from a man who feels he has all the power really interests me. Of course this wouldn't last forever and, in the end, I would genuinely want him to be my dominant that I serve. But not before watching all of what I described take place.

I chose to answer here rather than your first post as those who've answered that one have pegged it correctly---manipulation, deceit, brattiness, cock-teasing, bitterness. Now, as to what you've said above. Why would you want him to be your dominant only after all that you described had taken place? Because he would NOT be the brightest crayon in the bunch and by then, you would have definitely set his insecurities into full swing. Plus, after the "rape", you'd also have his guilt working in your favor. So now, I believe the answer to your unstated inquiry...why would you want him to be your dominant...is clear. Because he is now the dominant that you dominate. You can bet his domination of you would be in any manner you chose, simply to keep the "gift" of your sexuality and your "submission".

quote:

I hadn't pegged that sex would be just that to so many people: sex. I understand those who say they'd say "fuck it" and find someone else. I don't understand those who'd keep me but have someone around specifically designed for sexual pleasure. Amongst many conversations I've had with my father, he's said that eventually men lose interest in just having sex and want someone special and close to their heart to have sex with. Especially when they get older. Empty sex that is only built for pleasure gets stale after a while. At least that's what he said. Perhaps there was some mistake. But what he said is partly why I expect the guy in my hypothetical example to, sort of, stick it out. Imagine a girl who is the greatest thing to be around but simply said she wants to hold off on the intimacy and sex talk until she's more comfortable. Sure, it may take a while but I hadn't expected so many of you to take that as a warning and get out of the relationship. I mean, what if I was serious in wanting to take things slow? How could you tell the difference between someone who seriously wants to take things slow and someone who is manipulating?

There is a difference between slow that is a comfortable level for both partners and slow in the way that one partner only...and especially the submissive partner...dictates. There is also a difference in the intent behind the slowness...if you want to make sure that you really mean something to him before you give it up, I hate to disillusion you but there are those guys out there who will play your "game"...and believe me, they will spot it as a game...and then, once they've convinced you they care and they've gotten the "goodie", they'll be gone...laughing over another pathetic manipulative bitch who could not be honest about all of her intentions because you see, for you...it is not just about caring. That has been said to possibly alleviate some of the knocks you've taken. For you, it is indeed about power and where it lies.

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 39

RE: sexual deprivation - 7/27/2009 9:39:04 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Here's a link to something I found interesting regarding manipulation.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14680-eliminating-manipulation/

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 40

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