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cpK69 -> RE: Forgetting to be a human being (7/28/2009 6:14:38 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence
Maybe because this isn't something we "learned" from general society? When you are growing up as a woman, you have lots of role models to observe- your own mother, grandmothers, women friends of your parents etc. You have television, magazines, books, and other avenues where different types of women are shown, and you use it form some kind of "image" of what being a woman is. Society presents a much wider viewpoint on that today, but not so when most of us were growing up. However, I don't recall one single image of woman enjoying pain or bondage (if they were in bondage...it was always a bad thing) in anything I saw as I child. I only had my own instincts of what felt right to me, and I thought I was "weird." So, of course I asked lots of questions when I first found other people sort of like me-I needed to come to terms with the idea that this is just another way of being ( a woman, a submissive, a slave, a human) that other people share. So, the questions don't seem so odd to me. Heck..people in non-BDSM relationships ask some of those same things, too. "he said he would call, but he hasn't called for three days...what do you think that means? "He acts like he likes me when we are alone, but around his friends he ignores me, does he really like me or not?" That's the reason relationship books sell so well! Relationships are challenging anyway, and throw in a mix of BDSM, and you reduce the number of people to whom you can address your concerns. I think most people have a sense of wanting to belong, and if what you feel as a Dominant, submissive, switch, etc puts you outside your "normal" group, you want to find a "new normal." I suppose there is a need for some sort of validation if what you've observed from the rest of society doesn't seem to fit your particular situation.
Very much how it was for me, with a twist of "Alice In Wonderland".
Kim
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