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do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 4:02:52 AM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

I would please like to ask Masters/Dominants or subs who have had experience of this if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world...For example,do you object to any invitation from a sub... prefering meetings and any arrangements made to be intiated by you?. Are you put off by a sub asking 'would you like to visit tonight?'. Or... 'would you like to come with me on the weekend away i have organised?'

is there any other little more minor things like this that Dominants tend not to like?

Thanks

Post #: 1

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 4:17:11 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

In my experience vanilla and d.s aint that different. If I was with a person who got worried when I invited them over or arranged a day out for them then I think I would start questioning how well we fit as a couple. This is a bit where to me d.s becomes fantasy, I like to be able to make suggestions and have an opinion he doesn't have to do anything I suggest or come if I invite him over but again that is no different from what we call vanilla.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 2

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 5:10:21 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

It matters not who initiated what as long as propriety and protocol is maintained and especially some semblance of good manners and a modicum of respect. I like a girl who is not afraid to ask for something or to suggest things, it in my book shows a proactive interest in the dynamic rather than a passive one.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 3

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 5:12:56 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Ain't no "one size fits all". To give an example, I've read of some Doms who make their subs expose themselves in semi-public, while I would be angry if a sub did something that showed a lack of class in public.

I'd appreciate a submissive who initiated things. Others might not.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 4

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 5:15:57 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

So old chap we stay from the WalMart sub/slaves then as they are "one size fits all"??

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 6:17:26 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

If you want Chinese and underage subs/slaves, you get them at Wal-Mart... The more rugged, outdoorsy ones are at Lands End.

(I just had a vision of old, tired subs/slaves at Sears...)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 6

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 6:57:04 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Ok gentlemen, I just had a picture of where I might be 'purchased'. At the book store (intellectual slaves anyone!) I suppose. Or the art supply store...tools (aka slaves) to satisfy your creative desires

But enough of the thread hijacking....

I tend to be a supportive sub who views my relationships as a partnership. This has always gone over very well with the men I've known. I figure I should contribute any and all information pertinant to the subject at hand but then it's my guy's ultimate decision as to what the end result is.

It's kind of flattering to show someone that you desire their company enough to organize a way to spend time with them....right? Also, I tend to ask a lot of questions and have been told by my past Doms that they liked that, that it showed interest on my part and it was flattering as well that I wanted to know more about them.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 7:04:32 AM

Apocalypso

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline

The opposite. I expect to have the final decision. I don't expect or want to be with someone who's entirely colourless. Personally, I don't like micromanagment either. Seriously, have what you want for breakfast. I don't care.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 8

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 7:22:07 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

The opposite. I expect to have the final decision. I don't expect or want to be with someone who's entirely colourless.

Hehehe

(sorry my ears always prick up when I see that word)

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Apocalypso)

Post #: 9

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 9:29:28 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Compatibility.

If you are happier with a man who enjoys being invited along, then pick that sort of person.
No use you not being happy and him being grumpy that you're doing things without him when he didn't care to accompany you.

If I was at a Harry Potter movie marathon, he would decline. Other things he would accept. Depends on what they are.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 10

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 10:41:22 AM

Commisar

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/22/2009
From: Oxford, UK
Status: offline

I like my slave to have her own interests, opinions and desires. If she wanted to spend a night with me, I'd be happy to oblige. What I wouldn't tolerate is a command from her such as "Come round tonight and fuck me." Behaviour like that breaks the bond of d/s and I wouldn't tolerate it.

"Please, master, I want you to use me tonight" however is something much more... enticing and acceptable ;)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 1:28:32 PM

Drakontos

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world

Questions. I will not and do not tolerate zaphira asking questions when she should be following orders.

_____________________________

Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 12

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 2:41:06 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

i've had "vanilla" partners who were more controlling in some ways than any Dom/me i've been around. The difference was that these people were unanalytical of their own behavior, lacked communication skills, and usually their controlling behavior came from a fearfulness or lack of self-esteem rather than enjoyment. All of which resulted in inconsistent directions and an unhappy, confused monkey.

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 13

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 3:17:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

If I never invited Master anywhere, never asked when/if he wanted to visit, we'd find it awfully hard to see each other and he'd find it a little harder to figure out the things I like and enjoy.

(in reply to petmonkey)

Post #: 14

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 3:46:37 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakontos

quote:

if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world

Questions. I will not and do not tolerate zaphira asking questions when she should be following orders.

What if the question is to clarify what you have asked of her?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Drakontos)

Post #: 15

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 3:52:07 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa
is there any other little more minor things like this that Dominants tend not to like?

I'm not sure how representative I am of "dominants" but I pretty much expect people to act like people. Even for Carol, she behaves pretty much like she always did. The only difference from before and after the collar is that now if I say something, she does it.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 16

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 4:06:41 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

I would please like to ask Masters/Dominants or subs who have had experience of this if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world...For example,do you object to any invitation from a sub... prefering meetings and any arrangements made to be intiated by you?. Are you put off by a sub asking 'would you like to visit tonight?'. Or... 'would you like to come with me on the weekend away i have organised?'

is there any other little more minor things like this that Dominants tend not to like?

Thanks

Personally, I like initiation from a submissive. Just because I control her sexuality doesn't mean that I am flattered by the fact that she is always ready for sex whenever I say I am but never seems to want me enough to tell me so. It is still my perogative to say yes or no to her.

I like her wanting us to do something together and being interested in sharing something with me. Again, it is always my choice as to whether or not I say yes or no.

Little things I don't like? The one that bothers me the most is something I spoke of on another thread...when I ask a question, no matter how simple or no matter how much it would seem "natural" for silence at that point to mean agreement or acceptance, I expect an answer and when I don't get one, it bugs me.

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 17

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 6:49:03 PM

Drakontos

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakontos

quote:

if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world

Questions. I will not and do not tolerate zaphira asking questions when she should be following orders.

What if the question is to clarify what you have asked of her?

There is no need for HER to clarify anything; therefore, no need for questions. End of story.

_____________________________

Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 18

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 7:04:45 PM

Roselaure

Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakontos

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakontos

quote:

if there any behaviours that a Dominant does not like from a submissive that would be deemed acceptable in the Vanilla world

Questions. I will not and do not tolerate zaphira asking questions when she should be following orders.

What if the question is to clarify what you have asked of her?

There is no need for HER to clarify anything; therefore, no need for questions. End of story.

Let's say for the sake of discussion that your slave in unclear about what you have asked her to do. Are you saying that you would prefer her to attempt to obey and be wrong and then have you correct her, rather than ask a question to clarify what you meant?

_____________________________

Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to Drakontos)

Post #: 19

RE: do you diskike these behaviours? - 7/30/2009 7:09:15 PM

Drakontos

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Let's say for the sake of discussion that your slave in unclear about what you have asked her to do. Are you saying that you would prefer her to attempt to obey and be wrong and then have you correct her, rather than ask a question to clarify what you meant?

No. Let's not; for the sake of satisfying YOUR own inability to understand; pretend that the scenario is anything other than what was asked. It's not my place, nor my caring, to force others to understand what happens between my property and I; nor do I care to play the 'what if ' game that so many seem to enjoy here.

Both my answers stand

_____________________________

Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

(in reply to Roselaure)

Post #: 20

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