RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (Full Version)

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candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/21/2006 8:52:07 PM)

quote:

What is wrong with asking for advice?

Perhaps you mean your legal skills, I just found the "never" a strong word, for how is a Dom to fulfill no 10 if he doesn't ask for advice?

Oumae


Again, this could have been written better. i help ALL my friends as i can; and some are Doms and Masters. But there have been Men so legally entangled They needed a full-time lawyer. Barring unsual circumstances, this is a sign of not having Your life under control and needs to be a paying arrangement.

candystripper




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/21/2006 8:56:37 PM)

quote:

The only thing I find surprizing about this thread is that some seem to think it is asking for too much?

Take out a few words, like 'always' and 'never' so as to allow for the fact that Doms are human and humans don't always get things right ALL the time and I really don't think it is a lot to ask for.

Might take a while to find but there are a number of such people out there. There are examples on this very board, Ironbear for one, John Warren for another! and if you extend it to Dommes as well then Hathor and Phoenix are but two who spring to mind. They are out there to be found


You are right; i am so glad people reacted and improved it.

candystripper




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/21/2006 9:00:45 PM)

quote:

I will admit candy, you make Me at times walk away and reflect---as I read this, I smile, for I believe they are not words for Doms...



but words for humanity.

MHOO314


i wondered after i wrote it, what about women? About slaves and submissives and Dommes? And submissive men? What are our standards? Once again, are we a self-declared bunch or is there a standard to be met; or that we should aspire to? i have myself felt that it was necessary to be ethical and kind, but is that all that is expected of us? What do You think, Ma'am?

candystripper




IronBear -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 12:40:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

However I suspect that the majority of Doms/Masters wouldn't score highly on that list.

IronBear


Apart from temporary set-backs and other unusual circumstances, would You, Sir, consider a Man a Dom or Master if He failed to possess these qualities? Is a Man a Dom or Master merely because He likes submissive women? i guess the real debate is whether "Domliness and Masterfulness" is achieved or self-awarded. And the tangent then becomes who decides, which is endless and without resolve. So all i can say is this is what "Domliness and Masterfulness" mean to me.

candystripper



Initially the Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will. Life can and usually develop this especially in his area of occupation. If he is involved it team sports his dominance will further develope or be honed too. All of this tends to showcase him as a natural leader. If he never becomes a member of the lifestyle (includig Gorean) he is still a dominant man. I would look for such things such as strength of character, being a man of his word, standing the line in matters which he deems importand and being prepared to rish life and limb for them. let's assume that he enters the liofe style or is a current member. the two areas which will judge him the best and by which he can be judged are his peers and his sub/slave. The lil ones are honestly the best judge of a man for they will often enough see him beforehe showeres, scrubbs fangs and shaves and usually when he has just arisen and has nad no coffee..... He may be a grumpy olf man but is he in control?

Just the thougfhts of one who isreally like a hungry grizzly just out of hibernation before he has had his three coffee's in the morning.


"Ya gota play the game. It's all about the game and how you play it!"




RavenMuse -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 6:04:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
The lil ones are honestly the best judge of a man for they will often enough see him beforehe showeres, scrubbs fangs and shaves and usually when he has just arisen and has nad no coffee..... He may be a grumpy olf man but is he in control?


[:D]Oh yes, the uncaffinated Raven is a very controled and focused being indeed. Focused on but one thought... "Want coffee NOW!"[:D]




Kiaban -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 6:34:09 AM)

lol




Mercnbeth -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 9:14:00 AM)

this slave agrees with Mistress Hathor--this sounds like a list that isn't just exclusive to Doms and Masters, but to all of humanity, subs, slaves, etc.

and for you, Candystripper, this slave would like to add Master's words to your list:

#12 (after Penelope's #11) "He(or she) has gone through the self-assessment process, KNOWS what he(or she)seeks, more importantly WHY he(or she) seeks them, and doesn't compromise."




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 10:15:02 AM)

quote:

i do think that as you are, as you say, very new, it bears repeating, as wonderful as a man may be - mine included - he is still a human.

newflowers


i agree..bears repeating. Must be human. LOL. (sorry, i know you're serious.)

i'm delighted by what you & true wrote...congrats, ladies.

candystripper




amayos -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 10:18:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

...Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will.


Well said.




ProtagonistLily -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 9:06:15 PM)

Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie




LaMspeach -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/22/2006 11:59:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"Domliness and Masterfulness"

i am VERY new to BDSM and yet i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.

candystripper



I thought of Master when i read this.




KnightofMists -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/23/2006 6:14:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

...Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will.


Well said.


*** holding up a cloak *** aaaaaaaaaawwwww man..... mmmmmmmm I wonder if I can get my money back




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/23/2006 6:37:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie


it's mine, though i 1st posted it on another board. If You re-post, i'd take what people have said into consideration cuz it could have been better. i epsecially like that "Domliness is a character trait" from IB.

candystripper




JoeBlack -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/23/2006 6:57:08 PM)

I would add courage and compassion to the list,those are both traits that make a man who he is,Dom or not.




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/26/2006 10:56:52 AM)

TY Joe..You're right.

candystripper




Sunshine119 -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/26/2006 11:11:55 AM)

Candy, are You in Love? Very nice list. His Highness rates high on all of these things as well (excepting the addition of #11...lol). But, then again, I'm in love as well.




IronBear -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/26/2006 11:47:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie



Was in chats last night and someone came up with Holy Fuck.. Now a Catholic Priest friend of mine in his broad Irish Brogue explained that if you have sex on Sunday it is a Holy Fuck, sooooooooooooooooooooo I just figure that a Holy Shit is when you use the dunny on Sunday and leave a sizable deposit you have had ............................................. Hmmmm [:-]




Wildfleurs -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/26/2006 12:24:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"Domliness and Masterfulness"

i am VERY new to BDSM and yet i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.

candystripper



I think this is a great list for what you personally look for in a dominant. I would not consider many of the things you listed ways to identify a dominant in general though.

C~




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/28/2006 9:59:47 AM)

quote:

Was in chats last night and someone came up with Holy Fuck.. Now a Catholic Priest friend of mine in his broad Irish Brogue explained that if you have sex on Sunday it is a Holy Fuck, sooooooooooooooooooooo I just figure that a Holy Shit is when you use the dunny on Sunday and leave a sizable deposit you have had ............................................. Hmmmm

IronBear


Lady Neets?????? IronBear has got into the mead again...LOL.

candystripper




candystripper -> RE: Domliness and Masterfulness (2/28/2006 10:02:08 AM)

i'm curious; which item is not part of Domination or Mastering IYO? Not disagreeing that i wrote from my heart, yes.

candystripper




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