RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors

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RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/8/2009 8:25:54 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

I don't tell lies. It's not hard to do. Sometimes it is something I'd rather not do, but the majority seem to go along to get alone. CD omg. I've been talked about and pulled apart to many folks on here, but I've never lied...

then again, I'll be going to bed by myself in a bit. So. What does that say?

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

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Post #: 61

RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/8/2009 8:37:22 PM

HarderToBreathe2

Posts: 181
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublace

quote:

How are things currently going with your situation??
HarderToBreathe2

quote:

Open mind and open heart at the moment.
Whiplashsmile4

{{{Whiplash & Harder}}} U 2 should hook up

LOL! Actually, we've been chatting all day and sharing notes.

(in reply to sublace)

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Post #: 62

RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/8/2009 9:07:50 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

I saw a demonstration that has uniquely impacted my life.
I was attending a mini seminar and a clinical pyschologist was attempting to get a point across. He asked us to wait as he gathered a blanket from another room close by.
He was twisting it around as he walked back and asked someone in the front row to take the other end.
He instructed her to pull..he pulled..she pulled...they pulled together...he asked, who has control?

If he had not made the demonstration it would not have made the impact it had.

I fight with myself for control over issues..should I do this or that. It's actually a lack of self discipline.
Leadership527 wrote in his blog:
"Self discipline is the ability to seek gain in the bigger picture at the expense of the little picture. It is what enables us to choose to lose the battle so that we might win the war. Or, perhaps, the ability to do that which is right as opposed to that which is easy,"
Lying and deception (including self deception) - overtly or covertly is dishonesty and the person employing these issues needs self discipline.

If this woman is having issues with dishonesty, lying, deception and coverup (personal watergate) this is the easy way out of telling the truth, being in control and taking responsiblity of her own destructive behaviour as well as letting go of her own self discipline...it's too damned hard.

If she is telling you (OP) the relationship cannot be repaired, is she letting go of her end of the blanket as an easy way out?

If its too damned hard to have self control and self discipline, stopping destructive behaviour, submitting to the easy way out is gonna be easier than submitting to you as her Dom and giving you control.

Just my thoughts as I think of my own unique set of issues.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

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Post #: 63

RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/8/2009 10:31:52 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

I saw a demonstration that has uniquely impacted my life.
I was attending a mini seminar and a clinical pyschologist was attempting to get a point across. He asked us to wait as he gathered a blanket from another room close by.
He was twisting it around as he walked back and asked someone in the front row to take the other end.
He instructed her to pull..he pulled..she pulled...they pulled together...he asked, who has control?

If he had not made the demonstration it would not have made the impact it had.

I fight with myself for control over issues..should I do this or that. It's actually a lack of self discipline.
Leadership527 wrote in his blog:
"Self discipline is the ability to seek gain in the bigger picture at the expense of the little picture. It is what enables us to choose to lose the battle so that we might win the war. Or, perhaps, the ability to do that which is right as opposed to that which is easy,"
Lying and deception (including self deception) - overtly or covertly is dishonesty and the person employing these issues needs self discipline.

If this woman is having issues with dishonesty, lying, deception and coverup (personal watergate) this is the easy way out of telling the truth, being in control and taking responsiblity of her own destructive behaviour as well as letting go of her own self discipline...it's too damned hard.

If she is telling you (OP) the relationship cannot be repaired, is she letting go of her end of the blanket as an easy way out?

If its too damned hard to have self control and self discipline, stopping destructive behaviour, submitting to the easy way out is gonna be easier than submitting to you as her Dom and giving you control.

Just my thoughts as I think of my own unique set of issues.

This is actually something I realized early on in things between her and I. I try to encourage her to hold onto her end of the blanket even if she is uncertain about it. I've see the easy way out too. I will continue to pass her the end of the blanket and encourage that she is worth it.

(in reply to RealSub58)

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Post #: 64

RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/9/2009 8:34:12 AM

sublace

Posts: 201
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Passes sublace a big bucket of buttered popcorn and an extra super sized soft drink.

thank you! mmm yum real butter. sugary root beer too, none of that diet junk. You two rock

sublace is blushing she was bratty last night

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

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Post #: 65

RE: Trust not the issue in stopping damaging behaviors - 8/9/2009 8:42:44 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

from one fellow musican to another only advice i can give here is Write about it I went through alot of the same things so I decided to do something about it write about it in some music i used it creativitly it made huge difference pretty soon i found i was not alone
there are truely messed up people in this world i have learnd from the last one no matter how much you want to trust someone once they go down the path of being deceptive and lying its like this is done wish you the best

(in reply to sublace)

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Post #: 66