RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/5/2009 10:20:03 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme

Hello All:
I've been thinking a bit about rules, rituals and protocols. Certain requirements of behavior at certain times and within certain agreed upon guidelines. Do you find that they make your submission more complete, more fulfilling to you? Does having that kind of structure help you be a "better" submissive or are such rules/protocols only effective as a means to let you know what the D wants from you?
Also, how do you mentally make the switch from alpha to beta (if you do)? Is there a mindset you develop or an emotional/mental place you go to? Does it require a word/look/gesture/command from your D?
I appreciate all responses, understanding my question may not be applicable to all.
Thanks!

Well, i used to think a long list of rituals and protocols was important. But since then i've come to realize that slaving is about Him, not me. Mostly i keep my mind focused on what is pleasing and obedient to Him. That's really all the ritual i "require". Require? interesting word. Actually i think the "requirements" of a sub or slave are what create alot of the struggles in a D/s relationship, if that's what You're referring to Ma'am. But then, i recognize there are ALL kinds of relationships here and i have only my own experience to reference.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.

"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

Owned by Chairman

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/5/2009 4:31:44 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme

Hello All:
I've been thinking a bit about rules, rituals and protocols. Certain requirements of behavior at certain times and within certain agreed upon guidelines. Do you find that they make your submission more complete, more fulfilling to you? Does having that kind of structure help you be a "better" submissive or are such rules/protocols only effective as a means to let you know what the D wants from you?
Also, how do you mentally make the switch from alpha to beta (if you do)? Is there a mindset you develop or an emotional/mental place you go to? Does it require a word/look/gesture/command from your D?
I appreciate all responses, understanding my question may not be applicable to all.
Thanks!

On the basis of my experience I would suggest that there are two variables here and that the first is how well you know you know your submissive and that the second is what you expect from your submissive and your relationship with them.

I feel that there is a lot of scope and opportunity for such things as rules, protocols and rituals especially in the command and service part of the relationship. Indeed there are relationships which are largely made up of rules, protocols, and rituals such as domestic service as an example. Some protocols and rituals may be seen as universal such as how to properly lay a table or order of serving but many, such as how you would expect a submissive or servant to conduct themselves during a preamble are largely individual.

In a service type relationship knowledge of such rituals, protocols and rules are necessary if I am to serve effectively, otherwise there's room for misunderstandings and I begin to feel 'lost'. Feeling lost will cause me to observe my own system of rituals, protocols and rules by default.

However I tend to take my time in getting to know a new dominant especially prior to any dynamic being introduced to the relationship and being an intuitive, empathic sort of person I tend to go by facial expression, body posture, tone of voice, knowledge of that person, and by paying attention to and picking up on emotional cues and signals.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/5/2009 10:50:30 PM

XYisInferior

Posts: 166
Joined: 2/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme
I've been thinking a bit about rules, rituals and protocols. Certain requirements of behavior at certain times and within certain agreed upon guidelines. Do you find that they make your submission more complete, more fulfilling to you? Does having that kind of structure help you be a "better" submissive or are such rules/protocols only effective as a means to let you know what the D wants from you?

Mantras work wonderfully if constructed well and enforced. They are just one example of the many elements of a structured lifestyle, aside of detailed rules authored by Mistress. I personally have found that structure—good structure—enriches and reinforces the submissive's immersion into service and worship.

_____________________________

S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

Do your own homework. Write your own stuff.

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/6/2009 4:40:28 AM

sogamale

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline

rules and structure enhance the submissive experience very much when they can be put into use!!

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/6/2009 7:48:58 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

As in most things, there is a perfect balance to be struck. I find a lot of protocols to be annoying and cumbersome. Really, is there a need to memorize fifty different slave positions? But it makes a slave feel more like a slave if there are some expectations that have been clearly stated and that have consequences if not followed.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/6/2009 7:50:43 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I love Rules and Nomic. I love Protocol.... love love love it.... I am a fairly ritualistic person (forgive me if I am a beast in the morning coffee ritual). I find that I am usually in beta mode all of the time. I have to kick myself in the ass to get into the Alpha mode(even then

).

I find perfecting my form and posture in positions highly erotic. Especially if to properly learn them I am stuck in it for fifteen-thirty minutes.

Bonus points for Neurolinguistic Programming!

oh god....

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/7/2009 7:26:02 AM

subdevra

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline

He has not much use for rules and protocols, but there are a few that have sort of developed over time. this girl finds comfort in some protocols. it is also a mind switch for this girl. for when she goes down on her knees before Him, she is no longer the single mom that has to keep everything together for her boys. she is His.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/7/2009 7:40:28 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

All relationships have certain rules or expectations, just generally they are called different things. I personally like clearly defined boundaries in my relationships, that doesn't mean I need a list of menial tasks I have to accomplish in order to have done my job, I don't view relationships in the same way that I do employment. I like to know where I stand and what I can and can't do, then things can be asked of me as and when, spontaneity is good.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to TheLadyIsADomme)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Rules, Rituals and Protocols - 8/7/2009 8:46:29 PM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

If I were handed a list, my brain would shut off. I am -far- better at learning from doing, and having gentle (or not so gentle, mwaha) reminders about my duties and what I am allowed and not allowed to do would go much further then being expected to memorize a bunch of things at once.

Also, gradually introducing rules and the like also is a much better procedure in my opinion. It just makes the process easier, and makes the taming, training, or breaking of the slave that much more enjoyable for both parties. Though I admit I don't have a lot of experience in this, it just seems to me like it's the best way to go about things.

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to littleone35)

Profile

Post #: 29