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RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 4:08:45 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I thought dreamerdreaming's post was well-reasoned and intended to be helpful.  Your response is uncouth, to say the least.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 4:33:36 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		I agree with RedMagic1's assessment on both counts. 

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 5:22:30 PM   
VanityFix


Posts: 141
Joined: 7/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


you can be aggressive against air, yes. but an over aggressive attitude just makes you look like a loud fool, screaming at air.
i personally submit to the air wanting to occupy the chair i was in when i stand up.



(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 6:46:34 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanityFix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


you can be aggressive against air, yes. but an over aggressive attitude just makes you look like a loud fool, screaming at air.
i personally submit to the air wanting to occupy the chair i was in when i stand up.


That's good.  Oh, that's really good!  lmao

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to VanityFix)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 8:58:59 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I thought dreamerdreaming's post was well-reasoned and intended to be helpful.  Your response is uncouth, to say the least.


No, you! haha

I hereby announce that I don't give a damn about your notions of couth. Also, dd's post was neither well reasoned nor helpful, except for the verb bit.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 9:07:00 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanityFix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


you can be aggressive against air, yes. but an over aggressive attitude just makes you look like a loud fool, screaming at air.
i personally submit to the air wanting to occupy the chair i was in when i stand up.


That's good.  Oh, that's really good!  lmao


Hey, wow, you're reinventing words too! My trend is growing! I'm so proud...

Personally, I think it'd be great if every time you stood up you did so with a scream and a DBZ-style rage flex. I'd be highly entertained by that. Extra points for popping a blood vessel.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 9:40:33 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


Dominance to me has to do with leadership.

He leads and I follow.
I follow because he inspires me.
I follow because he has earned my trust.

No aggression was involved.

Aggression as you describe it would have not had a positive outcome; our equations are incongruous.

In my humble opinion it is poor form to aggress towards people who disagree with you (and it does not portray you in a dominant light).

In your realm you obviously see things differently.

edit: typo


< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/2/2009 10:08:03 PM >

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(in reply to VanityFix)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 9:45:10 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanityFix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


you can be aggressive against air, yes. but an over aggressive attitude just makes you look like a loud fool, screaming at air.
i personally submit to the air wanting to occupy the chair i was in when i stand up.


That's good.  Oh, that's really good!  lmao


Hey, wow, you're reinventing words too! My trend is growing! I'm so proud...

Personally, I think it'd be great if every time you stood up you did so with a scream and a DBZ-style rage flex. I'd be highly entertained by that. Extra points for popping a blood vessel.


hahaha  If you are talking to me, OP, I have no idea where you get the idea from that I'm enraged, because I'm not.  I just really think this whole thread has degenerated into judgmentalism and ridiculing, and you, sir, are at the root of it all.  That should really make you very proud of yourself.  

You said "I want to share my latest view on dominance and submission, and see what you guys think," but when others let you know what they think, if it doesn't perfectly agree with what your ideas are, you get all bent out of shape.  It appears to me that you never did want to know what anyone else thought because you were truly interested in their thoughts on this, you just wanted to stir up shit.  You even said, "May the flaming commence."   You've outright insulted people because their ideas differed from your own.  What ever happened to open-minded sharing of ideas and opinions?

As an advertisement said many years ago, "a mind is a terrible thing to waste."  It seems that you, sir, never learned the lesson of "waste not, want not."

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 9:49:21 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
And it can include what's inside as well as outside.  You said nothing about personality, just what's on the "outside." 


I said "And being a compelling sub/Dom generally takes a bit of effort; practicing, keeping in shape, testing your boundaries..." both keeping in shape AND testing your boundaries can mean inside, outside, or both. They did, in fact.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
hahahaha  You bet it happens sometimes!  The reason you don't see as many Dom/mes complaining is you're a Dom. 
 

Hey, projecting much? The reason could be that I read both d and s profiles, and the sub profiles had more mention of fakery, in context of people they'd met misrepresenting themselves. Of course, the sample group was mostly women, so this could turn into a guy vs. girl experience type of thing, but for the admittedly small sample space I saw more ups than downs crying fake. I didn't try to extrapolate from that, though, just tossed it out there. And wow, what a big response!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
"Fuck communication?"  That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard!  Without communication, what kind of relationship is there?  I would not be in a relationship where we didn't have good communication skills and use them.  It's absolutely essential. 


Yep. I stand by it. Too much hesistation loses the battle, and 'communication' can be an addictive substitute for manning up and actually Domming a sub. If I had not seen this end badly several times I wouldn't have said it. I have, so I did.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
And really, even just saying "Fuck communication and ACT," is communication of a sort, albeit one-sided.

Now you're on my wavelength.



quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
With Sir & I, unless I'm half-dead, I always find some way to satisfy.  Yet at the same time, Sir doesn't want me totally wiped out giving less-than-my-usually-fantastic lip service, or whatever, and since He's always tuned in to how I feel, I'm sure there are some times He's just never told me to. 

That's what I'm talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
Hmmm.  On the other hand, my Sir & I both realize that it's His right as Dominant to say "No" whenever He wishes to, and it's my place as His submissive to surrender to His wishes...and I do.

I'll use a bicycle analogy, and it will probably earn me fresh flames and lulz, but here goes. That bicycle is the ultimate sub, too submissive to be considered anything but a literal tool of my will. Wherever I steer it, that is where it goes. Period. No arguments. But I STILL HAVE TO PEDAL to get anywhere.

Another analogy: a car. I don't have to pedal, but I do have to keep my foot on the gas and my eyes on the road. Does that mean the car controls me? Am I my car's service top? Hah!


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
May the flaming commence.

lmao




I wasn't disappointed here ^_^


< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 8/2/2009 9:51:50 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 10:05:23 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
hahaha If you are talking to me, OP,


Nope. I was talking about the image of being a loud fool screaming at air. DBZ means 'Dragonball Z.' Look up 'over 9000' on youtube, you'll get it.
The misinterpretation was ludicrous, so I took it a step further. Because I enjoy ludicrous.

quote:


hahaha If you are talking to me, OP, I have no idea where you get the idea from that I'm enraged, because I'm not.


I still wasn't talking to you directly, but your next words belie this claim.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
I just really think this whole thread has degenerated into judgmentalism and ridiculing, and you, sir, are at the root of it all. That should really make you very proud of yourself.

Wow, I'm like a master of everybody who judged and ridiculed. Sweet!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub
You said "I want to share my latest view on dominance and submission, and see what you guys think," but when others let you know what they think, if it doesn't perfectly agree with what your ideas are, you get all bent out of shape.  It appears to me that you never did want to know what anyone else thought because you were truly interested in their thoughts on this, you just wanted to stir up shit. 


Well, that wasn't my original intent, but I know how the crowd in here operates. The first 4 or 5 responses (and within that, the post with the catchiest meme logic) will essentially determine the tone of the rest, almost independent of the original poster; so I was prepared for both a reasonable discussion and a flame war. This thread ended up a flame war, because the goofballs outshouted the nice kids. I'm not disappointed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub
As an advertisement said many years ago, "a mind is a terrible thing to waste."  It seems that you, sir, never learned the lesson of "waste not, want not."


Aww, are you trolling too? You are! That's so sweet. It was like getting slapped by a kitten, but kudos for getting in the spirit of things!

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 10:22:36 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

4) Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am...
.


Dominance to me has to do with...


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
Aggression happens when you stand up. You're committing aggression against displaced air. And MY dominance is more effective the more aggressive I am, to a certain point, at which it becomes less effective. Like a bell curve,...


Thanks for bolding that bit. It gave me the perfect opportunity to bold my own bit.

Aggressiveness is not a bad thing. My point was that it wasn't dominance, which is what you're trying to educate me on. This makes me lol.

quote:

In my humble opinion it is poor form to aggress towards people who disagree with you (and it does not portray you in a dominant light).


In my humble opinion you just aggressed because you found my opinion disagreeable. Or you could also have aggressively agreed with me, had you felt like doing so. But you find 'aggress' distasteful, and... what? What's your point?

It's a fact of life. Aggression happens, it's never not going to happen, and it's better to lay it on the table than suck it in and end up on a murder spree. Or dying of stress overload.

If someone disagrees with me, and upon review I disagree with them, I will strenuously and stridently and AGGRESSIVELY disagree right back at 'em. And enjoy every minute of it, especially when I finally hammer the point home but even when I don't. Don't like it, don't step to the plate.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 8/2/2009 10:29:04 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 10:46:09 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

As a Dom, it is my responsibility to hear her and understand where she's coming from.  If I then want to have sex, we will.  If for some reason I don't (it's 11 PM and I need to get my sleep and why for God's sake didn't she approach me sooner?). we won't.  I'm the Dom, I make the decisions.



This is pretty much 90% what I'm saying.

Now here's the other 10%. Most of the time, especially with a new s who doesn't know her boundaries, she won't outright say she's needing the old in-out. Or that she needs an affirmation of place, she needs to be topped. She'll make feeble noises along those lines but for the most part she'll try to act the way she thinks I want her to act, kind of like a well trained pet that needs to go for a walk but doesn't know how to tell you.

My lil' diatribe 'DO IT' is my commitment to not ignore these signs.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 8/2/2009 10:49:26 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 11:14:23 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Subbing to the sex drive of an 's' type - Wouldn't work for me, but whatever floats your boat.



I have a sex drive that's outrageous, especially in an M/s relationship. The sub will cry exhaustion long before I do, usually. (Not always, though. I love it when they can keep up...)

I'm really talking about paying attention to when a sub really needs to be topped and taking care of business, and using sex as an analogy. If my dog needs to pee at night, I'll take them out even if I'm tired, at least for a few minutes. Same concept. I have little rituals that don't take much time but are an effective means of getting my s in the right headspace, as I'm sure most successful M's do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTrubleSpeaking as an 's' type and only for myself, if Himself was doing something 'just' for me rather than because he truly wanted to for himself, that would bother me. Sorta of makes the whole dom/sub thing rather pointless. The 'd' side isn't in charge, the cock and cunt are. Interesting premise but not workable in my world.

Well in my world it's all a balance. No single part of life controls me unless I ignore the warning signs and let it get out of control. But then it CAN, so I take steps. Cock and cunt included.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/2/2009 11:54:45 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		OP, when I said "I just really think this whole thread has degenerated into judgmentalism and ridiculing, and you, sir, are at the root of it all," I was merely making the observation that you started the thread that had deteriorated into this.  Irritated?  Yes.  Enraged?  No.

"This thread ended up a flame war, because the goofballs outshouted the nice kids."  There you go again.  Are you saying that everyone who disagrees with your view on things is a goofball, or what?  If I'm wrong, let me know.  Nicely please.  I'd appreciate that & it would go a long way toward improving my opinion of you....although I'm pretty sure you don't care.

"Aww, are you trolling too? You are! That's so sweet. It was like getting slapped by a kitten."  Gee thanks.  I'm purring already.  :)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I'll use a bicycle analogy, and it will probably earn me fresh flames and lulz, but here goes. That bicycle is the ultimate sub, too submissive to be considered anything but a literal tool of my will. Wherever I steer it, that is where it goes. Period. No arguments. But I STILL HAVE TO PEDAL to get anywhere.

Another analogy: a car. I don't have to pedal, but I do have to keep my foot on the gas and my eyes on the road. Does that mean the car controls me? Am I my car's service top? Hah!

Now I'm not sure where that came from.  If you are saying an obedient sub is like a bicycle, well.....ahem.  Unlike a bicycle, a sub can definitely have a mind and will of her own.  I do, yet I'm still an obedient sub.  If a sub doesn't have a mind and will of her own, she is not surrendering and submitting anything, but merely being a doormat.  I can't speak for all s-types, but I much prefer being an obedient sub over being a doormat.   As for the car, of course the car does not control you.  The car goes where you want it to go, not the other way around.  The car has no control, it can't go anywhere by itself.  You control the car, just as the Dominant controls the sub.  Here is where you will say I'm making your point.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 12:14:51 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline 		Is it just me, or don't the rest of you think that the OP meant to enrage, rather than engage?

Thanks for your time!

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 12:19:59 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I want to share my latest view on dominance and submission, and see what you guys think.



Just an opinion from someone who is a lower life form than what you consider yourself to be, but BS.

Thanks for your time! I'm glad I no longer have to deal with a-holes like you!

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 12:29:03 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline 		Ya know what? Anyone who says: 'Lulz' has to be from 4chan. So how did you find your way here?

You're in over your head so just admit it. LULZ!

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 12:54:23 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox


I have a sex drive that's outrageous, especially in an M/s relationship. The sub will cry exhaustion long before I do, usually. (Not always, though. I love it when they can keep up...)




Wrong. In your world you came from 4chan and the 'lulz' you mingle into your posts is a clear indication of that. Dude, you don't have a clue as to the site you landed on. You're probably like 13 years old and lied about your age to gain access to this site.

Go back to 4chan and stop playing with adults since you're just another 4chan agitator.

Thanks for nothing!


< Message edited by Wyzardsgirl -- 8/3/2009 12:56:59 AM >

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 1:00:52 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline 		Why is it that idiots from 4chan (the most despicable site on the internet) think they can barge into a serious BDSM site and then post replies like 'LULZ'

You moron!

(in reply to Wyzardsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: New philosophy on dominance and submission - 8/3/2009 1:06:16 AM   
Wyzardsgirl


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I have a sex drive that's outrageous, especially in an M/s relationship. The sub will cry exhaustion long before I do, usually. (Not always, though. I love it when they can keep up...)



In YOUR world, the only reason a 'sub' would cry is that you bored the hell out of her with your 4chan 'Lulz".

You people from 4chan who invade serious forums. are beneath contempt. Get over yourself.



(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 40
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