Hemorrhoids (sp?).....

Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/3/2009 6:57:21 PM)
I just discovered I have them...not a pretty sight (okay...let's not go there)...I'm fairly sure they were caused by my ex wife (I expelled her 10 years ago....but I've had this annoying itch for at least as long)....lemme tell you.... It's not fun. If I've gone on a date with you in the last 12 months, please let me apologize....you may have thought I wasn't focused on you.... I've recently discovered you may have been (unbelievably) correct. I wanted to think about you...I really tried to think about you....and for the record...every time I scratched my butt....I was thinking about you....(hoping you weren't thinking about the last guy you went out with....praying he'd show up momentarily...asking you if you'd like to go out for a drink....while I scratched my butt)...but....I promise (honest)....I used the other hand to hand you the popcorn. (No, really...I did). (Okay....not always). It was a good movie though....wasn't it?

purepleasure -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 4:22:57 AM)
lookie... have you been drinking the koolaid?

sirsholly -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 4:24:38 AM)
<-----hands Lookie a thong Here....let us know how this feels[:)]

CatdeMedici -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 5:34:39 AM)
ok hemorrhoids are caused by a number of things: 1. Pregnancy 2. Child birth 3. Excess weight 4. Dry hard stools 5. Anal sex I am going to venture that 1 and 2 are not options, however 3,4 and 5 are serious possibilities Get some tucks pads, put them in the freezer, yes freezer, use them 2-4 times when the inflammation starts, will freeze them back to normal. Drink more water, I am going to wager that your stools are hard most of the time.[8\|]

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 9:21:52 AM)
EXCELLENT advice !!!!! (And....#5 isn't a possibility) :)

Rainfire -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 9:34:03 AM)
Get the largest bottle of witch hazel you can find and start applying compresses soaked in it as often as you can. Works wonders and it's the active ingredient in Tucks, just a whole lot cheaper to do it yourself. Keep the compresses on as long as possible. (The things you learn birthing babies.....)

thornhappy -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 3:41:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici ok hemorrhoids are caused by a number of things: 1. Pregnancy 2. Child birth 3. Excess weight Also from being a devotee of reading on the toilet, and for me, many visits to the bathroom in one day (and not to pee).

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 3:47:04 PM)
Dude. TMI. But rockin advice re the witch hazel compresses. You can afford the Tucks, though. Stock up. Helpful Hib

SilverMark -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 3:59:09 PM)
Why is it I saw the title hemorrhoids and am not surprised that the author is lookie?.... (takes a note...if I ever meet lookie....NO HANDSHAKE)

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 5:25:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilverMark Why is it I saw the title hemorrhoids and am not surprised that the author is lookie?.... (takes a note...if I ever meet lookie....NO HANDSHAKE) (I am not feeling the love here AT all!!!!)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 7:03:14 PM)
Hey! Just because your fetish is not my fetish doesn't mean I don't LOVE you! Sheesh.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/4/2009 7:51:07 PM)
I just did a list of all my fetishes. Except for one involving milk bottles and a steering wheel lock, and another with a thing to do with the sound a cat makes when you brush its hair backwards.....I think I'm into 'em all. It's not easy being me.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 9:22:34 AM)
Versatility is a fine, fine quality. Now, where's that milk bottle?

DesFIP -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 10:04:11 AM)
Milk in bottles? Plastic jugs, yes. Paper cartons, yes. But no glass bottles since I was a kid.

tammystarm -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 10:09:40 AM)
wow im that pathetically bored that i read this....... sad

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 10:15:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Milk in bottles? Plastic jugs, yes. Paper cartons, yes. But no glass bottles since I was a kid. I was in a fancy-schmancy organic place that had it in glass bottles! Not the cool little paper stoppers, though. I would have actually bought the stuff if it had that!!

fluffypet61 -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 12:13:17 PM)
My local chain grocery store has quart glass bottles of milk - it's organic or something. i'll look to see if the little disk is there next time i go by.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 5:24:54 PM)
By the way....just tried the witch hazel stuff..... You're all fucking sadists!!!!!

Level -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 5:33:36 PM)
Guess I shouldn't try to get you to give the Icy Hot a shot then, LNN? [8D]

Level -> RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... (8/5/2009 5:37:46 PM)
Okay, I know they suck. Had'em bad years ago, and once woke up in a pool of my own blood, as one burst during the night (and you CAN bleed to death, depending on the kind of 'roid). Just don't sit on the commode too long, don't get constipated, and do not strain. And don't let Cat near them.

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