RE: *sigh* another dilemma

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purepleasure -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 10:57:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop that makes two of us, Tulip... actually... three of us... and counting

sirsholly -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 11:15:10 AM)
four...

calamitysandra -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 12:00:11 PM)
... five ... Now, lets start the lists of all the things that need to be done, bought, cleaned, and packed. [:D]

kdsub -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 12:51:54 PM)
Who entered her in the program?... They don't just arbitrarily say you have been chosen. What are the particulars of the program...what information do you have on the hosting family....what area will she be staying...Is the area safe...Can you afford to check the family out?...Can you visit... can you remove her from the program without consequences? Is your daughter mature?... Think about, don't answer off the top of your head. Can she be trusted with this new freedom?... Will she be a problem for the hosting family following rules...will she become homesick and depressed? Will this affect her grades?....many many things to think of. If I did not enter her in this program and could not afford to send her... I would be raising hell. Butch

pahunkboy -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 1:05:30 PM)
I knew a guy that hosted a student from Germany. He was then on a crusade. Writing letters to the newspaper. His complaint was the facilitator of the program. That is was improperly or sloppily run.

MsMillgrove -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 1:09:57 PM)
OH gosh this is so exciting for you. (tho nervous and anxious-making) I went off at barely 19 to live five years overseas, in Asia and Europe. Those experiences changed my paradigm forever- I see the world differently--having been a stranger in a strange land. As my children grew up I often shared my experiences, and dressed my girls up in the kimono that I brought home from Japan .. for their school reports. A couple months ago I went to Japan to see my daughter married there. She lives with her husband who she met here in CA and knew for several years before getting engaged. The cherry trees were in bloom. The young couple lives only two blocks from his parents home in Tokyo. She is so happy and excited, she said it was always her dream to follow in my footsteps, to live in foreign country when she was young. Japan is a fascinating place--a culture of the past and future mixed in strange ways. I can't tell you how much your daughter will learn so quickly.. espcially living in a Japanese home. I did a lot of research on customs in Japan before I made this trip to the wedding, read reams of websites, I have seen that many young students feel that living with a host family allows them to be part of everyday life in a way that is impossible for the average visitor. This really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you can't let your fears hold her back. You must be strong and capable and help her get ready with a smile on your face. Now I know how hard it must have been for my mother to see her only child and only living relative.. go off to foreign countries, I remember her standing in the airport in early Dec. as she put me on the plane with my newborn baby to go to Germany to be with my husband for Christmas. She was so brave. I admire her now, know how much courage it took to let her new grandbaby and only daughter go off for adventures far away. I felt the same ache in my heart when I left my daughter at the airport in Tokyo this spring.. I know it will be a long time before I see her again. Your daughter will someday look back and be so proud of you! As proud as you must be of her today...Yippy. post all news please telling us how everything goes!

mnottertail -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 1:11:29 PM)
They chose her....they recognized the skills, so don't be calling her sport or tiger or nothin like that........... OK, kiddo---------you know how you are always telling her to be mature and adult? Put on your big girl panties and let her do it.....she's gonna find out about the letter sooner rather than later. Certainly, let her know how you will miss her.............your strength today, may be the reason she will come and visit you when she is in her 40's more often than every six months. You don't allow her this opportunity, due to your selfish desires, and she will hate your ass for the rest of your miserable scummy little life.......... You can do this kid, I know you can!!!!!!!! Even if it means you guys are glued to the tits for another six months after she returns. Ron

LookieNoNookie -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 5:57:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my daughters high school informing us that she was one of the students selected to participate in a cultural exchange with students from other countries. I have not shown her the letter yet because once I do, she will be so excited that I won't be able to calm her down. I guess you could say that this is her dream come true...not so much to be part of the program, but to go to the country that they selected. Japan. Her dream is to one day, go to Japan. I am struggling here. Not because of the cost, that's not important as far as I am concerned; but because well...she's my baby dayumit. I know I know...I can't keep her my baby forever..but...this program is pushing it faster than I want to let it happen. So, here I sit, thinking about that letter, knowing that I HAVE to show it to her and knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop her from going on this 6 month dream of a lifetime. Dayumit. Fuck. Life sure does suck right now. Come on parents, help me out here...I have been trying to build up enthusiasm for her and I just can't find it. If she even gets a hint that I am not happy about this, she will back out...and I know that I can't let that happen. Reverse it...looking back, had you had this opportunity...would you have been (with time as the mirror) been bummed had you not grabbed the brass ring? If so...(and even if not)...give her the doc. (And then regardless....insist she goes). But you already knew this :)

GreedyTop -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 9:44:14 PM)
um, guys.. she's already given the letter to her kidlet :)

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 10:05:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist She came over to me and sat on my lap. I am a tall person; 5'9...but her...she's 6'2 now...and she sat on my lap and curled into me like she was 5 instead of 15; put her arms around my neck and whispered that she knew and understood. Dayum if that take all. That make you feel any more reassured about whether she's mature enough to handle this? Because it sure suggests a lot to me about how growed up she is. I don't know everything that's inside your heart and mind, but from where I sit, that sounds like she's way, wa-a-a-a-y ready to take a step like this. Congratulations for doing the right thing. These few weeks and months may hurt, but for the rest of your life, you're going to be very happy you did this.

DDraigeuraid -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/5/2009 10:34:15 PM)
Irish. When my youngest daughter got an opportunity to go to Europe, I siezed it for all I was worth. She was then at the end of her 8th grade year She is now a cultured, beautiful, lady (and now mother of my grandaughter). I know it is hard to let go, but be happy she is streching her wings. Another thing to consider is the family who will have the opportunity to have your daughter in their life. My family hosted a wonderful young man from Sao Paulo. It was one of the happiest years of our lives. And I have a grandaughter with him as well. Be happy with her. Dragon

scarlethiney -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/6/2009 9:00:10 AM)
How exciting! How scary for you mom. Take a deep breath and think of all the wonderful things she will get from this adventure and how lucky she is to have this opportunity. I have an only child. It was extremely hard to let him go to Europe. He went with a class to Paris, Germany and England and that was only for 3weeks. I worried about him the entire time he was gone. He surprised me by being more responsible than I imagined. He called me every couple days because he was so excited he could not wait to tell me about everything he saw and experienced. He will be twenty six Sat. and still says that was one of the best experiences of his life. I am so grateful he had the opportunity. Good luck and congrats to your daughter!

windchymes -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/6/2009 1:35:57 PM)
Well???? When does she leave???? [:)]

IrishMist -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 5:19:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomKen Have they changed the program since I was in high school? Back then when my friend went to France for 6 months his family took in a girl from New Zealand. It gave his mother a brand new teen ager to worry about. It depends on who sponsors the program. We COULD take in a student, but because of the work that I do, it's not a smart move. I offered, but they have final say if they send someone or not. quote: Now, lets start the lists of all the things that need to be done, bought, cleaned, and packed. LOL In the last couple days she has already started a list of what she needs, and of what needs to be done before she leaves. Last time I peeked, it was going on 6 pages. She is nothing if not resourceful and organized lol [&:] quote: Who entered her in the program?... They don't just arbitrarily say you have been chosen. No they don't. Our school system here gives the packets to all honor students who THEY feel might benefit. The packets are given in 7th grade and for those interested, must be turned in by the time the student begins 8th grade. quote: What are the particulars of the program...what information do you have on the hosting family....what area will she be staying...Is the area safe...Can you afford to check the family out?...Can you visit... can you remove her from the program without consequences It's a good program. It's sponsored by Rotary International. We have an appointment with the local school administration, the county board, the state board and the sponsors this coming Monday. We will receive all the rest of the information that we need then, including that of the host family etc. quote: Is your daughter mature?... Think about, don't answer off the top of your head. Can she be trusted with this new freedom?... Will she be a problem for the hosting family following rules...will she become homesick and depressed? Yes, she's pretty mature for her age; yet at the same time, she IS still a teenager. I don't think she will be a problem for the host family. LOL. Hell, there are times that I sometimes ( only sometimes ) wish that she would break out of her shell and actually ACT LIKE AND BE a teenager. [:o] As for being homesick and depressed. She may become homesick, but I think she's going to be too busy to focus on it for too long lol. quote: Will this affect her grades?.... I don't think it will. She does very well in all her classes. I can only think that this experience will increase that. She speaks Spanish Fluently; and can speak and read Japanese well enough to understand and communicate. This will obviously give her a fluent third language. Her math, while being good at, is the one subject that she actually struggles in. She has already done some research and SHE thinks that this will help her with that area. I am inclined to agree. In the long run though, even I can see that this is going to be a huge learning experience for her; both academically, and mentally/emotionally in regards to maturity. quote: When does she leave???? I will know for sure on Monday, but I THINK that she is going to be leaving in December. Hopefully it will be AFTER her birthday lol. [:(]

OrionTheWolf -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 5:27:44 AM)
That is so awesome!!!! You must be extremely proud of your daughter, and the opportunity will be something that she will carry her entire life. It will hurt some and you will miss her dearly, but if for that small price in comparrisson to what she will gain, I wish I could give it to my son. I hope the pride and love of another parent will assist you. You have done a great job girl, it is time to be proud and allow life to unfold. quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my daughters high school informing us that she was one of the students selected to participate in a cultural exchange with students from other countries. I have not shown her the letter yet because once I do, she will be so excited that I won't be able to calm her down. I guess you could say that this is her dream come true...not so much to be part of the program, but to go to the country that they selected. Japan. Her dream is to one day, go to Japan. I am struggling here. Not because of the cost, that's not important as far as I am concerned; but because well...she's my baby dayumit. I know I know...I can't keep her my baby forever..but...this program is pushing it faster than I want to let it happen. So, here I sit, thinking about that letter, knowing that I HAVE to show it to her and knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop her from going on this 6 month dream of a lifetime. Dayumit. Fuck. Life sure does suck right now. Come on parents, help me out here...I have been trying to build up enthusiasm for her and I just can't find it. If she even gets a hint that I am not happy about this, she will back out...and I know that I can't let that happen.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 5:43:35 AM)
Just out of curiousity - have ya started the paperwork yet to get her Passport???

IrishMist -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 5:46:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach Just out of curiousity - have ya started the paperwork yet to get her Passport??? LOL Actually, she already had one; it just needs to be updated and such. I took her to Ireland and Italy a couple times to meet some extended family on both sides.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 5:49:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach Just out of curiousity - have ya started the paperwork yet to get her Passport??? LOL Actually, she already had one; it just needs to be updated and such. I took her to Ireland and Italy a couple times to meet some extended family on both sides. Then the hard part is already dealt with, of the plethora of stuff that has to be finished between now and when she leaves.....

windchymes -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/8/2009 7:30:36 AM)
That sounds like one awesome kid you got there, Mom. [:)]

Acer49 -> RE: sigh* another dilemma* (8/9/2009 5:34:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my daughters high school informing us that she was one of the students selected to participate in a cultural exchange with students from other countries. I have not shown her the letter yet because once I do, she will be so excited that I won't be able to calm her down. I guess you could say that this is her dream come true...not so much to be part of the program, but to go to the country that they selected. Japan. Her dream is to one day, go to Japan. I am struggling here. Not because of the cost, that's not important as far as I am concerned; but because well...she's my baby dayumit. I know I know...I can't keep her my baby forever..but...this program is pushing it faster than I want to let it happen. So, here I sit, thinking about that letter, knowing that I HAVE to show it to her and knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop her from going on this 6 month dream of a lifetime. Dayumit. Fuck. Life sure does suck right now. Come on parents, help me out here...I have been trying to build up enthusiasm for her and I just can't find it. If she even gets a hint that I am not happy about this, she will back out...and I know that I can't let that happen. Well All I can say is that my sister sayed her money something like 3k to go over seas to Norway for hers and she really loved it. I am sure that if you had not believed your daughter was prepared for what she may face, you would have never agreed to it in the first place. I also would have to believe that the sponsoring committees have many safegards in place to deal with anything that may come up

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