Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Friendship among subs/slaves


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Friendship among subs/slaves Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 6:01:24 PM   
Mynxling


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		This is my first post here, so, hi, everyone!

I am currently in consideration for a collar from my Lady.  Among the tasks She has set me before She accepts me further is that She wants me to seek out another sub/slave to talk to.  She asked originally what my support network was, who I could talk to about things with Her and get honest feedback from.  I'm polyamorous, so I have two boyfriends, a girlfriend, and a semi-ex-girlfriend to talk to, but none of them is so much into the lifestyle, so I can't talk to them and expect them to understand in the same way.

So I am wondering: is there anyone else out there of the sub/slave persuasion, who might be interested in striking up a correspondence to discuss things of a sub-ly nature? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 7:02:40 PM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline 		If this is viewed as a personal ad it will be deleted soon by the moderator.

The best thing I can advise is participation in this board and correspondence on "the other side" (that means send c-mail) and see if you can strike up a friendship. I have met a fellow sub that I wonder if we were sisters in a past life, lol.  I find there are a lot of nice people here who are willing to give you a chance as long  as you don't rub them the wrong way. How do you rub them the wrong way? I can't tell you that, but should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY!

This board is a good source of information and can be a great way to meet people.

< Message edited by wineDineNtieMe -- 8/4/2009 7:03:52 PM >

_____________________________

When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive.
-Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 8:50:43 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I'll talk to you.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to wineDineNtieMe)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 9:51:38 PM   
Mynxling


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		Personal ad what now?  Just trying to do as I was asked...alright then.  For the record, I am also planning on lurking about and seeing if I find someone that's interesting and perhaps striking up a conversation.  I just figured it couldn't hurt to supplement it with something like this.  My apologies if I've overstepped somehow.

quote:

should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY!


So what you're saying is, uh, vocal bunch o' folks on this board? 

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 9:59:06 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		I do not see this as a personal ad. Let us discuss things that are of sub nature.

Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom?
Does submission equate to being a doormat?
What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned?
Does each dominant have a submissive side?
Does each submissive have a dominant side?
Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles?

These are all questions I would like to hear from my fellow subbie friends.
I will post my own feelings on the matter when I wake up tomorrow... or eventually. It will be tomorrow.

(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/4/2009 10:00:20 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Try going out to munches in your area?  

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 5:52:53 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		fr
Find some local munches and events and go out and meet people. You should be able to make all kinds of new friends there.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 7:55:27 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		welcome to the boards. i Had a similar request of my M'Lady when i first started. and munches and other party's. i am currently in Afghanistan serving the army. i would be happy to communicate with you. see my profile for this. further reading and commenting on the boards will help get acquainted with more of the lifestyle.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 9:01:27 AM   
TantaMount2Much


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Status: offline 		mynx, I condone the lady soldier. And pyroaquatic, becasue he appears to be a thinker.

I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature. I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss.

Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally.

Lady Masteryss

Angellika D

Very goode effort.

Masteryss

(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 9:57:01 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would suggest reading the boards and see who you resonate with. If you find yourself nodding your head at a certain poster's comments frequently, then write that person and ask if they would mind talking to you about things when you need help thinking them through.

Beyond that, find a local munch in your area, see if the people hosting it know of a sub support group, or if you feel drawn to any of the other subs in the munch.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to TantaMount2Much)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 10:19:53 AM   
KCalli


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

I do not see this as a personal ad. Let us discuss things that are of sub nature.

Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom?
Does submission equate to being a doormat?
What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned?
Does each dominant have a submissive side?
Does each submissive have a dominant side?
Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles?

These are all questions I would like to hear from my fellow subbie friends.
I will post my own feelings on the matter when I wake up tomorrow... or eventually. It will be tomorrow.



Good questions! I will take a shot at it.
My reason for submitting: Until I discovered the D/s relationship, I was incredibly scattered, and could say no to anyone (vanilla world). In my submission to Sir, I have felt a huge weight lifted and freedom given to focus on Sir, entirely. Sir is wonderful and encourages (within the parameters of respect, and when I need to discuss, I call a "vanilla moment" and we speak freely.) me to grow and learn. I am far from helpless, being a vet of 10 years service, ff/emt, and all that jazz, and he values intellegence and thinking.
Submitting is in no way being a doormat. If you feel like that, you might not have the proper Dom for you.
I dream of the day I am collared. I would wear it as a badge of honor. I can't think of any better way for all to see, for him to honor me (public viewing would be something that would not be noticed too much by the vanilla world).
I see no hint of submission in my Sir. He is probably kinder than some as he will take the time to explain things and be very clear about what he expects. He says that if I am understanding, than I can serve him more completely. He says when one is left to guess, it is bad for all.
I do have a small dominant urge (I wouldn't call it a side, as it is not all the time), I guess you would call it, and he recognized this when we spoke of fantasy play. He makes arrangements for me to have this fantasy on rare occasion when he sees the need for me to have this.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 11:54:35 AM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom?
I choose to submit because it gives me strength. It allows me to see far beyond my own eyes, to feel more than what my nervous system can tell. I submit out of love and that tingly feeling one gets when I am on my knees looking upwards in her eyes with a want. I submit because I am the one she wants.

Does submission equate to being a doormat?
While being a doormat is painful and can lead to being heavily used I will only be a door mat for My Lady. I ask of her to watch out for the kidneys because I need those to serve her...

What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned?
I cannot be shaken-whatsoever-by anything except for who the one who put it on my neck. I feel safe, secure... and dare I say it relaxed. My muscles soften as they are always tense. I am hyper vigilant of my form the body takes but supple.

Does each dominant have a submissive side?
I feel each dominant submits time and energy into the submissive, but only so that the dominant can be better served.

Does each submissive have a dominant side?
If the dominant refuses to go to the doctor it would be disobeying the "submissive takes care of the dominant" part of my programming. I would demand-respectfully-for the dominant to go to the doctors. I am dominant to other people.... at least neutral.

Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles?
Yes, see the above 2 questions and answers.


Well that was fun. Any more questions to add to this?

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/5/2009 12:39:29 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'd also recommend just going to some munches in your area. I can't tell you how many sub friends I've made at munches over the years. And these are the real people, not the posturing people you find on message boards (not to say everyone here is posturing, of course), but you really get to know people when you meet them in person. I've had a few close female sub friends who have gone to bdsm clubs with me, and we have a great time, cause sometimes we're both looking for the same thing, and it kind of freaks out the dominants when there is a sub couple looking for something and acting pretty discriminating about it as well.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/7/2009 9:46:10 PM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wineDineNtieMe

If this is viewed as a personal ad it will be deleted soon by the moderator.

The best thing I can advise is participation in this board and correspondence on "the other side" (that means send c-mail) and see if you can strike up a friendship. I have met a fellow sub that I wonder if we were sisters in a past life, lol.  I find there are a lot of nice people here who are willing to give you a chance as long  as you don't rub them the wrong way. How do you rub them the wrong way? I can't tell you that, but should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY!

This board is a good source of information and can be a great way to meet people.


Hello Sister from another Mister!! Where you beens, I misses your emails!!


_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West



(in reply to wineDineNtieMe)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/8/2009 2:11:16 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TantaMount2Much

I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature.


Actually munches can be about what ever you like them to be about. Many munches are almost exclusively couples. Sometimes it is far better to have the 'real life' connections to have discussions rather than online alone.

quote:


I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss.


This is the best thing to do, you don't really make friends by asking for them it just happens over time.

quote:


Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally.


I doubt that would be taken too kindly on here, seems a bit ego massaging, I think point number two is the best.

OP, It really is just about getting involved, using the main boards to talk about issues and the polls and random stupidity to have more casual chats and getting to know people.


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to TantaMount2Much)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/8/2009 4:40:00 AM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

OP, I am more than willing to help you.  I remember how hard it was when I first started on my journey (I had no support whatsoever).  Just cmail me.

well wishes,

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/8/2009 9:58:40 AM   
pleasuredancer


Posts: 39
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TantaMount2Much

I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature. I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss.

Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally.


Wow. The only thing here that I can agree with is the comment on smilinguy.

When I first entered the scene, I was fairly quickly collared and owned. I knew that I would need some women around me who I could turn to for support, just like your lady has told you to do. I am not a terribly social person, but I started going to munches to meet people, and focused on meeting other sub women. From there, I was invited to a women's group that met monthly. Those women formed the basis of my social circle for some time.

This is what munches are for-- to connect with people. The ones I have attended are not intended for trolling for new partners, but rather focused on interacting with people to broaden and deepen one's base of friendships. Though I am on the forums a lot, that isn't where I get my needs taken care of for interacting with other women-- for that, I need to see them in person.

I would develop a broad base of connections, both online and in real life.

(in reply to TantaMount2Much)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Friendship among subs/slaves - 8/10/2009 3:57:17 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I am game (but don't shoot me). I love to write and get e-mails, so contact me if you like.

Lurking too, sub BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Mynxling)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Friendship among subs/slaves Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094