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stella41b -> RE: Collarme Profiles and Messages (8/8/2009 7:58:52 AM)
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I'm not sure that the spammers and scammers are the real problem, but just part of the real issue. I think it's a combination of the widespread expansion of the Internet, social changes over the past twenty or so years and mass misconception fuelled by the aggressive promotion of the free market economy together with the generally dumbing down in the media and culture in general.
People are pretty much the same as they've always been, especially if you scratch the surface, but I feel that a lot of them take this trend of neoconsumerism way too far. Sometimes I get the overall impression that such things as commitment, personal integrity and effort have gone out of fashion and that a frighteningly large number of people are unable to really comprehend anything not directly related to their genitalia, finances or having a good time.
There seems to be a hardcore minority who haven't succumbed to either blanket scepticism or an almost childlike gullibility when it comes to meeting other people off the Internet or using advanced technology as part of their social network and there are those who feel that they can get what they want without any display or development of realistic social skills.
Today you can do almost anything online - manage a bank account, pay bills, do your shopping, book flights, and I find some people adopt pretty much the same strategies when it comes to meeting people.
I think some people would be happy if this site was revamped into TrolleyMe - the online Sex and Kink Superstore where products would be just like products on a shelf with the appropriate labelling - 'Extra Kinky', 'Fitbin', 'slimline', '30% extra free', 'genuine', and all profiles arranged into neat aisles 'dommes', 'male doms', 'trannies', 'couples', 'sissy maids', 'subbies', 'slaves' where you could just log in, go to the relevant section, find the relevant profile, read it through, make comparisons and voila, without much effort or time spent you have your relationship and can wear your 'decent and successful member of society' badge with pride.
I guess in a way you could call it the 'punter mentality', you know, just like a normal punter, with details of what they want, their kinks, their needs, their tick box checklists of desires who are only interested in getting what they want without bothering to get to know you or even finding out what you are seeking or indeed have to offer. It's all about them.
And these are precisely the reason why we have scammers, spammers, the phenomenon of the 'online tribute' and so on because such people see others as stupid, gullible, easy prey and very much in the same way as a spider builds a web or a hunter builds a trap they set out their bait and lures hoping to catch the gullible, the stupid, and the selfish.
And it would appear that collectively at least there's quite a market of such people out there for the taking.
Now you can blame the spammers and scammers all you like but that isn't going to get you very far. It's kind of like blaming someone for being unemployed or homeless or for that matter for being poor. You can ban and exclude them from websites such as this, but they're just going to keep on coming back. Why? Because their potential prey is still here.
It's a bit like fighting crime, drug dealing, even terrorism, you remove the opportunities and the reasons which motivate people to do such things. But you can't because who is to say who is being gullible, stupid or selfish? We can only make such judgments based on our own experiences and observations, assumptions and suppositions, but collectively we're never really going to achieve a set standard which can be applied unversally.
It is unfortunately the trend of 'I'm alright Jack' and 'every man for himself' and this is about all you can do. I know, it's not much comfort if you're spending night after night looking, putting in effort to have a decent profile, good photos and are sending messages. It's like playing a lottery, betting at the race track, most times you lose but sometimes you win and when you're winning it's good.
My own strategy has been to give up looking, and not to take things too seriously, at least not until there's a realistic chance of meeting in real time and then even holding back until it does become real time. I'm open but realistic, will correspond or reply to people who write relevant things and just ignore them if they don't.
But sometimes I will succumb to the urge and write back. Like recently I had a domme write me and tell me 'your profile is way too long. you need to shut the f*ck up and understand your position. Wanna chat? Go to a freakin Tupperware party. Be careful what you ask for.'
I simply wrote back, 'Thanks for your reply and unsolicited opinion. My profile is there to get attention and cause someone to write to me. You replied. It works.'
I'm largely unaffected by the fakes, flakes, scammers, spammers, HNGs, drama queens, but you know I don't get upset by them because often they make damn good entertainment. Much better than television.
And you don't need a TV licence either.
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