Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (Full Version)

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slaveboyforyou -> Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 10:55:11 PM)

I am allowing my incarcerated pal to parole out to me in January. I've already agree to it throught the Department of Community Corrections. According to them, I need to have space for a seperate bedroom (got that). I need furniture (bedroom suite for her....working on that; it will take me a month at least), need a wholesome environment (I drink like a sailor, so I have to rid myself of all the booze. But other than that, I'm cool. She will be on the bus route, she will be within walking distance of local stores and shops. Her children will have sleeping space to visit (her youngest son will have a place to sleep in the living room, her daughter will be able to sleep with her. (good enough to me.). So all of you social workers.....Am I cool? I don't do dope. I don't allow dope in my home. I work full time. I have things planned for my friends' kids (softball, basketball, camping, etc.) I am working on all of that. Am I cool?



frazzle -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:02:06 PM)

What are you looking for. a gold star!!!

You are either helping out a friend, because you think its the right thing to do, and they are really a friend.

or you're doing it to earn brownie points and make yourself look good.

Why does your post sound like the second option.!!!!!!!



TheHeretic -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:02:27 PM)

Check your local listing, Slaveboy.  Things vary widely from state to state.  You may be giving away your rights against warrantless searches, you might have issues over firearms in the home.  I would speak with a good criminal lawyer to understand the potential worst-case, and how to protect yourself.



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:11:44 PM)

quote:

Check your local listing, Slaveboy. Things vary widely from state to state. You may be giving away your rights against warrantless searches, you might have issues over firearms in the home. I would speak with a good criminal lawyer to understand the potential worst-case, and how to protect yourself.


Done it Heretic. I took all of my firearms over to my parents to avoid problems. I took all knives over to the parol office to make surf.



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:14:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

quote:

Check your local listing, Slaveboy. Things vary widely from state to state. You may be giving away your rights against warrantless searches, you might have issues over firearms in the home. I would speak with a good criminal lawyer to understand the potential worst-case, and how to protect yourself.


Done it Heretic. I took all of my firearms over to my parents to avoid problems. I took all knives over to the parol office to make surf.





GreedyTop -> RE: R (8/6/2009 11:20:01 PM)

YIKEs.. having problems, hon??



lazarus1983 -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:25:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

What are you looking for. a gold star!!!

You are either helping out a friend, because you think its the right thing to do, and they are really a friend.

or you're doing it to earn brownie points and make yourself look good.

Why does your post sound like the second option.!!!!!!!


Seems pretty obvious that he's asking legitimate questions. I highly doubt slaveboyforyou has any interest in earning brownie points from strangers on a message board.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



CountrySong -> RE: R (8/6/2009 11:42:11 PM)

My 2 Cents
Lock up and/or get rid of any lifestyle stuff you might have. If the young ones find any of it or she decides to mess with you. (Say claim that you where forcing her to do things or her young ones to do things. Remember the courts might very well veiw you as having a position of undue influence since you are providing housing.) Then you are totally screwed as in jail time. Not to mention she could very likely lose her young ones. (One thing people learn in prison is how to be very manipulative to survive. Don't give her ammo to do that with until you have several months of experience with her.)

Remember if anything happens then you could get unexpected visits from the police and be required to let them search your entire home and computers. Clear your hard drives of anything that could get you into issues in your state.



stella41b -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:43:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

Am I cool?



Yes. Not sure about hip, but cool yes.




ElectraGlide -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/6/2009 11:47:54 PM)

Make a rule, that everything gets put back where it was in the first place. When my teens grew up and moved out, I never had to search for anything again, lol. I did not mind anything getting used, but when I needed it, it was easier to just drive to the Dollar Store nearby and buy it for the 5th time. When you need your finger nail clippers or scissors, you need them.



LadyPact -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 12:49:31 AM)

Quick semi hijack. 

I'm proud of you for being willing to do this.



calamitysandra -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 3:12:56 AM)

Yes, you are cool.

Take a look at Craigslist for the stuff you need.


And that was all the wisdom I have to offer at the moment. My sprogs are thankfully not yet teens, and I work very hard at fogetting most of my own teen years.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 4:34:06 AM)

It is not the physical trappings that make a house a home, but the commitment, dedication and devotion of the occupants.



barelynangel -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 5:06:55 AM)

You are doing a good thing, i also second the HOUSE RULES concept for when kids come over, know your curfew laws in your area etc.  Also, find out where teens hang out, join the Y (if you have one close so you may be able to get the kids involved with other kids in the area).  Maybe get to know some of the parents around you so you can ask about what kids do in your area etc.  

Also, you need to get straight with her what discpline you will be allowed with the kids (not in a bad way but it is your home).  So the house rules and the consequences for breaking same will go a long way to alleviate any misunderstandings or power plays the kids try and make between you and her.  Also, be very clear to her that you are not her keeper -- she knows as a parolee what rules she has and you will NOT protect her if she breaks them and people question you.  Tell her its her responsibility to do what she needs to.  Also i would SERIOUSLY have her sign a contract with you as to rent or utiliities.  BE HER LANDLORD -- not simply her friend.  This will also give her some security of knowing what HER responsibilities will be to you instead of you guys having it vague.  Put things like parental controls on your computer ESPECIALLY YOUR PRIVATE INFORMATION and TV. 

Also, work with HER on what things to do with her kids -- your plans sound great but make sure you involve her in all this.  Send her a letter with what you are planning, what changes you have made etc, get her input so she feels a part of this instead of a visitor if that makes sense.

Contact whomever has the kids now and ask them how they made their home teen ready and what the kids will need etc.

Good luck, teens are never easy lol. 

angel 



servantforuse -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 6:47:39 AM)

If you trust her to be in your home, why would you have to get rid of the booze ? If she wants to drink, she will get it somewhere else. If even you can't trust her, maybe I would rethink having her move in..



sirsholly -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 7:05:31 AM)

Two teenagers huh?
If it's edible, it's gone.



DarkSteven -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 7:07:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

If you trust her to be in your home, why would you have to get rid of the booze ? If she wants to drink, she will get it somewhere else. If even you can't trust her, maybe I would rethink having her move in..


My impression that was the Department of Corrections stipulated a booze-free environment.  It may well be a standard requirement.

But if she has two teens visiting, I'd get rid of the stuff anyway.



marie2 -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 7:49:19 AM)

I second the poster who suggested Craigslist.  Do a search in your area under "free".  People are always getting rid of things from furniture to clothing, and they're happy just to have someone come and take it away.  You might be able to pick up a ton of useful items for her and the kids without spending a dime.



DomMeinCT -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 8:09:09 AM)

www.freecycle.org is also a great way to find things for free.  In your local freecycle group, post a few things to give away, then write a "Wanted" list of things you need.  You'll be shocked at how much stuff people are willing to part with, once they see someone needs it.



pixidustpet -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/7/2009 9:27:17 AM)

slaveboy, i'd doublecheck what the housing rules are in your state...i know when i was in ohio some 20 years ago, i was not able to be in anything less than a 2 bedroom because of the rule that "rentals have to have one bedroom per child over the age of 12 years, with a bedroom door that closes, with the exception that 2 siblings of the same gender can share one bedroom, but no more than two persons in a bedroom".

other than that, it sounds as though you're providing a safe place for your friend to come to.

kitten



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