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BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 3:31:28 AM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		I live in a fairly safe part of the world (yay Canada!), but reading through some of the forum posts I swiftly realized that this lifestyle is, dangerous a little?  I mean not the obvious "you're using electricity on that person!" kind of danger, but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned.  I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 3:49:24 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline 		I can only speak from the dom side of the fence, but ...

The same instincts which serve you in "normal" life work equally well within the BDSM world. If you wouldn't trust a person IRL, why trust them purely because they're operating within a BDSM sphere?

I'd also point out, on the flip side, that the rewards, in terms of personal fulfilment, far outweigh (in my opinion at least) the negatives.

Yes there are certainly “predatory” types within BDSM, but are there more than in the “normal” world, such as in singles bars, web sites and suchlike? I don’t think so.

“Polite” society (what a misnomer that term is) may frown on some of the actions and lifestyles within this realm, but considering some of the things that same “polite” society considers morally acceptable, I don’t feel they’re in any position to take a morally high-handed approach.

Just be patient, don’t leap into anything too quickly, and don’t leap into anything that doesn’t “feel” right, or right for you, no matter what someone else may say about it. It’s your life, and these are your choices.

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 3:56:03 AM   
SmokeSerpent


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/19/2009
Status: offline 		RapierFugue covered most of what I mean by this, but the most dangerous thing in "this lifestyle" is yourself. Being submissive doesn't have to mean being stupid and pulling the wool over your own eyes with regard to the people you are interacting with, but it's a trap many fall into.



(in reply to RapierFugue)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 8:11:32 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
¡uʍop ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ ƃuıʍs xǝs ǝɥʇ uı ʞɔnʇs ǝɹɐ sǝlʞuɐ ʎɯ ¡dlǝɥ

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 11:05:45 AM   
SmokeSerpent


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


¡uʍop ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ ƃuıʍs xǝs ǝɥʇ uı ʞɔnʇs ǝɹɐ sǝlʞuɐ ʎɯ ¡dlǝɥ

chia* (the pet)



haha!

(in reply to chiaThePet)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 11:08:48 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight
but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned. I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?



LIFE can be dangerous, you meet closed minded people all over the place, even from those that you would assume wouldn't be. Not a BDSM specific thing. How do you navigate through day to day life? Do the same


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 11:12:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

I live in a fairly safe part of the world (yay Canada!), but reading through some of the forum posts I swiftly realized that this lifestyle is, dangerous a little?  I mean not the obvious "you're using electricity on that person!" kind of danger, but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned.  I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?



I find that good old common sense works wonders. Though it seems very few people have it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 1:06:14 PM   
kccuckoldmist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline 		As you wrote so well and has all the others who have written back. Common sense and understanding this is not some alternative universe where humans are different and act different.

There are people as already mentioned that fear the unknown and people in this life that promote fear to eliminate competition and to feel they are special. The key is being self aware, know what you are about and wanting and seek out the right person for you and not just anyone who might be interested in you.

Compatibility with the right person who is sane and cares about you makes all the difference in the world in calming fears.


(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/7/2009 9:04:51 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		Alrighty, so more or less the same thing that I do normally anyways.  Thanks for the kind responses.  :)

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/8/2009 9:52:32 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I rarely worry about the police breaking into my house and arresting us because I'm tied up and yelping.

But some stuff is dangerous absolutely. Trusting the wrong person or not knowing what you're doing, and things like breathplay is inherently risky. Or electricity above the waist.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/9/2009 6:26:05 PM   
awmslave


Posts: 599
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		I bet you are much more likely to  meet assholes and abusers in "vanilla" world.

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
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RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/9/2009 8:44:18 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		Just realized what breathplay was. Uhm. Scary.  Electricity somehow sounds like it -could- be fun though.

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to awmslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: BDSM - Dangerous? - 8/10/2009 3:04:39 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I bet the rates of assholes and abusers in wiitwd is damn near identical to those in the 'vanilla' world. And for the same reason, people are attracted to that because it is familiar to them.

Electricity is traditionally done using a violet wand or an electric bug zapper, the ones that look like a tennis racquet. But if you take a violet wand and clip the two clips on someone's nipples, you are running electricity across their heart. And you better have a defib machine on hand if you're risking inducing a heart attack. Take a workshop on it first or find someone in your local community who is good at it and ask for lessons.

If you're doing fireplay, the risk of lighting the sheets on fire is always there. Keep a large towel soaked in water at hand. Risks can be reduced by following all the safety recommendations. And by learning how from someone who is an expert.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
Profile   Post #: 13
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