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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 10:15:02 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Hi Michael.

I have been on CM for more than a year now and have accepted only two out of many queries that really suited my preferences. By saying this I mean to point out that many dominants are extremely selective creatures, as they should be.

Following this same vein of thought it may be beneficial to reflect upon your profile. You corner yourself right out of the gate when you display face slapping, foot worship and humiliation as "hard limits". If I were a dominant female reading that, I would raise an eyebrow and certainly move on. I would suggest replacing the low-resolution photos with elegant, higher quality images as well. Just my opinion, and I hope it's taken the right way. I wish you luck!

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 21

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 10:26:01 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

michael,

For what it's worth, I've had several people who wanted top be in my collar. All but one claimed to have a Gorean orientation (well he was in Germany and thought that Australia was Austria). The rest were in the USA. I've commented often enough that the bloopdy great duck pond gets in the way (except when I'm fishing in it). Yes mate it is freeking hard at time especially when you really get a connection with some one and immigration laws make it bloody nere imposible to have someone relocate. Hang in there mate and you can talk to either myself or Lady Neets any time you want to..

"Ya gota play the game. It's all in the game and how you play it!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 22

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 10:37:47 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i just wonder why it's so difficult to connect with the locals on this site.

michaelGA

All i want is a coffee buddy to discuss BDSM and everything else...and cannot find one..Men will say "yes" but avoid setting a date..subbies and slaves will say "not now"; and i live in a big city. It's not just your experience, Michael.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 2/22/2006 10:38:11 AM >

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 23

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 11:06:46 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedupnick

quote:

i just wonder why it's so difficult to connect with the locals on this site.

Well you could live in an uber conservative town *shrug*
That's one of my problems.

They weren't kidding when they said, "Location, location, location." hehe

A lot may be with how Michael has been expressing himself. I managed to get a munch going in 1988 in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, which no one would hold as the bastion of liberalism. But a constant drumbeat of negativity can effectively turn away almost anyone.

In meeting people in the scene, I'd put it "attitude, attitude, attitude."

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to chainedupnick)

Post #: 24

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 11:28:22 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Try making a knockoff of THE MATRIX.

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 25

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 12:10:33 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

how do you deal with longing for someone that is not achieveable?

Hell... it's hard enough to long for someone that is achieveable. For example, with kyra living long distance... the longing for each other is very difficult... of course... she was home this past week and half... and that made the longing achievable and very enjoyable... next month we are going to be visit Niagara falls together. Being apart makes the longing very difficult, but it is achieveable I can't image longing for someone that would never be achieveable! sounds like a path of self-destruction!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 26

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 12:36:00 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

michael, darlin"! I am trying to figure out where you are coming from here, because in your OP you do say:

quote:

i come here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.

Bold emphasis Mine.
My initial assumption would be that you are not just looking for friends to write to on a more personal basis. But I could be wrong. If you are just seeking friends, I do believe you have them here, already. If you are seeking more, then you do have to look at how you are presenting yourself, especially in your profile.
You do say you are not seeking at this time, you are in a committed vanilla relationship (even though she is aware of this extra-curricular interest), and you also list all the things you are into, as well as the things you are not. Pretty basic, "not looking, but just in case, here I am, and this is what I like, and this is what I won't do". So why are you longing for something, when you have cut your own self off at the pass?
We all love to dream, but don't get too caught up in the fantasy of "if only". You are the only one who can change the "if only" to more of a possible reality.
Friends you have...a D/s or M/s relationship is different. You have to be available and ready for it in the first place. And when you are fishing in a big ocean, you need to be flexible enough to sail to the places where you see the delectible fish you want are jumping (relocation). If this is not possible, then your, anyone's, possibilities are narrower. That has nothing to do with the internet. It has everything to do with how much you are ready, and what you are willing to do to get your dream.
Else it will always just be a dream.
Sometimes, michael, people make things difficult just so they can't really get into the dreamed of relationship. It's safer to be wistful from the sidelines, than to step out into the playing field and catch the ball.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 27

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 12:40:55 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

i thought i had changed that, guess not. i am opened to suggestions for rewrite. if someone can write me aan ad i would be greatly appreciative.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 28

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 2:23:20 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

as far as celebrities go, this slave dreamed she met Brad Pitt last night and all he could talk about is how much her ring looked like jen's, it was her "forever" ring and waahwaah--it was amazing how much he looked like a young Val Kilmer...

Thanks for the warm fuzzy i got when i read that! <i needed it too ;-)>

michael, once you do finally meet your intended, it shall seem as though you were always together, and the waiting will then seem like only a moment in time.

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 29

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 2:25:22 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

i come here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.

dealing with seeing them online and knowing that they will never answer or they do "occaisionally" respond (describing different people here). it's like being stuck seeing a celebrity on TV and knowing there's no chance in hell to ever talk to them, much less meeting with them or enteracting with them at all.

My question is how come you actually think the ones you find desirable are for real. I mean you've idealized people you've never met, or spoken to face to face. It is just as likely that the idealized people wouldn't be so ideal in real life. Brad Pitt as an example isn't the character he plays. Whereas on here it's impossible without meeting people to know if they are the way that act on here. It'd be easy for anybody to be a model forum Dom, but I doubt that translates universally in the real world. Sometimes, maybe but not universally. So I'd take peace in the fact that you may not be losing as much as you built it up to be. Key is don't idealize the unattainable(because in reality you don't know any of them), spend effort idealizing that which is possible.

That's my advice. But I haven't found anyone on here either. But at the same time, I don't really expect to, I plan to go to some "real" BDSM at some point. That is trully were I'd guess I'd find someone. Whereas online, it's just there on the odd chance it worked.

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 30

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 2:36:45 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i thought i had changed that, guess not. i am opened to suggestions for rewrite. if someone can write me aan ad i would be greatly appreciative.

michael - i would be very happy to assit you in a re-write, however i cannot as i do not understand what it is that you seek? Are you on hold or are you seeking to meet Someone?

if i were to read your profile and take it at it's face, i come to the conclusion that you are a bottom seeking local play. Is this correct? you plan to stay in your current relationship, but seek to meet a Domina, who must be within a certain area, for play time only. i cannot tell if you are into service, D/s, M/s or what exactly? i note that you mentioned that you are not seeking a Pro-Domme due to being able to afford the obligation. Are you aware that some ProDomina's might consider like kind trade of service in exchange for Her time? Are you open to that if it were made available to you?

Again, i will be happy to assist - but need more info either here or in a private message.

Have fun! <then you will be having fun yet>

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 31

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 3:26:40 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

Michael,

I remember when you first started to post and you were absolutely absorbed in self pity. Since then, I have seen you develop a rapport with many people on this site with many responding directly to your posts.

The first step in any relationship is getting to know each other. My guess is that if you keep up posting here, someone is going to snap you up. The odds of finding a meaningful relationship being a male sub went up considerably as soon as you joined the discussion boards. Keep it up.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 32

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 3:49:13 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

That's my advice. But I haven't found anyone on here either. But at the same time, I don't really expect to, I plan to go to some "real" BDSM at some point. That is trully were I'd guess I'd find someone. Whereas online, it's just there on the odd chance it worked.

Excellent point made here. The online world is but a portion, not a panacea.

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 33

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 5:52:39 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

the jist of it is as follows:

first and foremost is no intercourse and limited sexual contact, as i do not require that kind of relationship.

someone to interact with in the lieftsyle, someone that can "take control" of me regularly (schedule negotiable)

i seek TPE and serving a Mistress in most ways, (subject to negotiation)

my vanilla life does come first and gf will be kept informed of all activities before they occur and any subsequint activities unplanned will be disclosed to her promptly

again, no intercourse

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 34

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 6:04:57 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

For myself, I look at the qualities of that "unattainable" person, and get a clearer picture of what it is that I am looking for... then I wait. I'm not afraid of time, or of getting to know myself better, so I know that, as long as it takes, it will be -just- long enough for me to be ready for the joy that will be coming my way.

I've loved, and lost -- both slowly and inexorably, and unexpectedly and brutally -- and yet, I can't help but -know- that each change came at exactly the right time to shape me and heal me and grow me into a better, stronger person (and don't let anyone tell you that submissive individuals aren't strong -- it takes strength to yield, day after day, to the will of another. Submission and dominance are different -kinds- of strength, but both must have their own strength -- and their own flexibility -- to thrive and carry the burdens of their choices.). I've also been blessed with love and strength in abundance -- growing even beyond the measure of the loves that I've lost.

I've watched you post over months and months, Michael. You have such potential, and yet you live in sorrow and self-pity. See the possiblities for joy in your life, and when the right person comes into your life, you'll be ready for the happiness that sharing a life with them will bring. Right now, from what I've seen of your posts, it seems that even if the perfect person walked up and talked to you, it is likely you'd be so concerned that it wasn't the dream person that you can't obtain that you'd miss the opportunity.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

how do you deal with longing for someone that is not achieveable?

i come here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.

dealing with seeing them online and knowing that they will never answer or they do "occaisionally" respond (describing different people here). it's like being stuck seeing a celebrity on TV and knowing there's no chance in hell to ever talk to them, much less meeting with them or enteracting with them at all.

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 2/22/2006 6:06:38 PM >

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 35

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:23:05 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I remember when you first started to post and you were absolutely absorbed in self pity. Since then, I have seen you develop a rapport with many people on this site with many responding directly to your posts.

The first step in any relationship is getting to know each other. My guess is that if you keep up posting here, someone is going to snap you up. The odds of finding a meaningful relationship being a male sub went up considerably as soon as you joined the discussion boards. Keep it up.

That's nicely said.

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 36

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:25:37 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

i still have my down days as the search continues unsuccessfully. i must be a sadistic sub coming here day after day in hopes of being "discovered". makes me wonder sometimes why i even bother

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 37

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 9:13:14 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

Buck up, lad, you can do it.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 38

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 9:17:11 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

OK, Ok, I'll take you, just do a quick tuck and tape and I look at least as good as rosanne barr. Now go get me a beer and a dress damn it. And rub my big stinking feet.

ummmm, just to clarify that's a joke

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 39

RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 10:06:16 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

OK, Ok, I'll take you, just do a quick tuck and tape and I look at least as good as rosanne barr. Now go get me a beer and a dress damn it. And rub my big stinking feet.

ummmm, just to clarify that's a joke

(laughing)

Psssst… He's not joking at all! Well, about the feet, anyway.

michael, you've managed to make a number of friends here.

You don't whine. You contribute. People love you for reasons beyond me. (laughing)

Be proud.

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 40

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