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Questions? - 2/21/2006 10:46:24 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		This isnt one Y/you cant send Me to another thread for the answer...lol
I bet you will find one anyway....lmao

I know I'm gonna catch some flack...but obvisously I care not.Why...because I'm saddened by the fact some come here for help,advice,encouragement and acceptence...they are shot down,picked on and feel worse than when they came here.
I had gotten someone(very new to bdsm) to join so he could learn,but because he lacks social skills and his spelling sucks...he was picked on.*SOME of you were helpful and understood him,thank you to those few.*
Who am I to defend him...a concerned friend wanting to help someone find their way.


So here are the questions

#1 I have been reading a lot of posts and I cant for the life of Me figure out why "Adults" need to have a MOD come in and break it up? "Dad...hes touching me..."

#2 What is so darn hard about being nice? Reminds of a saying...maybe some of Y/you have heard it "If you dont have anything nice to say,dont say anything at all."

#3Why cant people be respectful to O/others? Afterall WE are all humans,but yet some treat others with more disregard and contempt than they would a stray dog.

#4 Are WE not all in this together?Dont W/we all want to be accepted?Dont Y/you all want to not have to hide this side of Y/you?

#5 Can Y/you for 1 day accept that O/other peoples opinions are DIFFERENT not WRONG

While I would love answer...I somehow doubt there is one.
A challenge....I dare ya infact to be nice and bite Y/your tongue for just one day.

Can Y/you do it?


Y/you'll notice,that there are no direct or specific quotes for My basis and I think I managed to vent and refrain from name calling.Another challenge are Y/you up for it?


~~~~Disclaimer: DO NOT bite tongue too hard....It may cause permenant damage
and hinder Y/your ability to lick,talk or eat...None of which do I wish on anyone.~~~~~


_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft
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RE: Questions? - 2/21/2006 11:24:22 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Y/you'll notice,that there are no direct or specific quotes for My basis and I think I managed to vent and refrain from name calling.Another challenge are Y/you up for it?




Without specific illustrations, it's pretty hard to defend against vague allegations. What is one's "rude" is another's plain spoken. What is one's attack is another's informative.

_____________________________

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RE: Questions? - 2/21/2006 11:34:30 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I think the most important thing to remember here is that rude, nice, polite and courteous are all relative terms. As JW mentioned what's rude to one is not to another. As well as text is a difficult medium in which to hear and decipher tone.

Perception is in the mind of the reader. Even when there is blatant language leaving nothing to the imagination, sarcasm and patronizing are hard to discern unless you are reading someone you are familiar with.

oh, and if you don't have anything nice to say...come sit by me.



_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Questions? - 2/21/2006 11:46:14 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I understand what you mean, sly sacastic remarks.

@ the other two posters in this thread. Your answers sound like your trying to defend rudness, Maybe its because your both guilty of it..

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 12:03:06 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Y/you'll notice,that there are no direct or specific quotes for My basis and I think I managed to vent and refrain from name calling.Another challenge are Y/you up for it?




Without specific illustrations, it's pretty hard to defend against vague allegations. What is one's "rude" is another's plain spoken. What is one's attack is another's informative.



I understand that.

I see some passing rudeness off as a 'oh that just how I am'. I cant be the only one that thinks there are better ways of saying things.

Calling someone an 'idiot' because they did something another person doesnt agree with is rude in My book.How about saying something like well 'that wasnt a good choice was it'

Is it wrong to want to come to a forum and not see fighting...Debating is when no one is called names or Flamed for their opinion.

Y/you all see things different than I.Am I going to judge you or call you names no...I'm going to politely defend My point of view.Infact I enjoy Y/your posts...do I have to use the darn C/capitol everytime I say Y/you and the other words I try to be politically correct,lol? ....anyway I think your posts are wise and obvisously you have been around a while and seen pretty much everything.

I came here to learn something new and share what I know.
Others do the same and are discredited for too many reasons to list but the big one being
this title of Newbie just because you havent been a member long.


Perhaps I'm dreaming of a Utopia where everyone gets along

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 12:06:20 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

#1 I have been reading a lot of posts and I cant for the life of Me figure out why "Adults" need to have a MOD come in and break it up? "Dad...hes touching me..."


Being adult doesn't = being perfect.. so, sometimes we screw up and the mods come in and set us straight. Score one for the mods. :)

quote:

#2 What is so darn hard about being nice?


Sometimes people just have a bad day and use the boards to vent. Other times though, 'nice' is a perspective and someone is being straight forward or to the point and that's interpreted as 'mean' but it's not the intention of the poster to appear that way. Those can generally get cleared up fairly quickly if the offended party will just speak up and ask if the poster meant that the way it sounded.

quote:

#3Why cant people be respectful to O/others?


They can be.. or at least courteous, they choose not to be.. but like the above, it can be misinterpreted as well.. on both sides of the fence. Someone new can come in, ask a question which 'seems' to relay an attitude of their own and so they are responded to in kind.

quote:

#4 Are WE not all in this together?Dont W/we all want to be accepted?Dont Y/you all want to not have to hide this side of Y/you?


Nope, we're pretty much 'not' all in this together. The single common thing we share is that we post to this board. Some post who have zero experience in BDSM, some post who have tons.. and there is everyone in between. As for being accepted, many of us accept who 'we' are, and that's enough for us. As for part three of your question, I can't speak to it because I don't hide it, but I can certainly see how there are plenty who don't want to share 'this' part ::whatever part that may be:: with others as it's too personal to them.

quote:

#5 Can Y/you for 1 day accept that O/other peoples opinions are DIFFERENT not WRONG


It depends on what their opinion is and what it's based on. Sometimes others ARE wrong or their opinions are based on facts not in evidence or they are handing out misinformation. What happens if I choose tomorrow to accept everything for that one day, and someone makes a statement that can cause incredible damage. Should I not speak up if I know something to the contrary?


quote:

While I would love answer...I somehow doubt there is one.


Maybe, maybe not.. depends on what you hope to hear. :)

quote:

A challenge....I dare ya infact to be nice and bite Y/your tongue for just one day.


I'll pass.. first, I try to be nice every day.. but second, I'm not biting my tongue simply because it's requested by a stranger on a forum I happen to frequent. However, if you would like to take that challenge, feel free. No one is stopping you.. and you don't even have to make it for one day.. you can do that every day if you like. You can't control the actions of others.. only your own reactions.

quote:

Can Y/you do it?


I 'could'.. I choose not to. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 12:13:27 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

I think the most important thing to remember here is that rude, nice, polite and courteous are all relative terms. As JW mentioned what's rude to one is not to another. As well as text is a difficult medium in which to hear and decipher tone.

Perception is in the mind of the reader. Even when there is blatant language leaving nothing to the imagination, sarcasm and patronizing are hard to discern unless you are reading someone you are familiar with.

oh, and if you don't have anything nice to say...come sit by me.






Maybe I should come sit by you now?lol

I get that some people talk a certain way...My point was about the so called new people getting the brunt of it.
I can be blunt and to the point without being rude/disrespectful.
There are times when being rude is called for and not knowing the dynamics of the cliche here does it make it tough.


_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to yourMissTress)
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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 6:24:38 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		my personal experience is that most folks here are decent. Are there a few rude ones? absolutely... There are rude people everywhere....r/l, grocery shopping, etc. i can choose to sink to their level or i can try my level best to rise above it. i think the Mods do a very good job (i couldn't do it, my head would constantly be in a state of 'near' explosion). Just my 2 cents worth.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 6:37:05 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I was going to respond but BT covered about everything I was going to say so it would be a bit redundant

Thanks petal, you just saved me a bunch of typing

*Points to BT's post* What she said!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:11:08 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I willingly admit to being opionated, obnoxious, and downright rude at times. But I will not apologize for it. Take it or leave it, matters not to me.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:13:44 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
I willingly admit to being opionated, obnoxious, and downright rude at times. But I will not apologize for it. Take it or leave it, matters not to me.


opionated, obnoxious, downright rude at times and CUTE.... you forgot cute!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:19:39 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

opionated, obnoxious, downright rude at times and CUTE.... you forgot cute!


Well shucks

/shuffles feet and turns red

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:36:30 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I willingly admit to being opionated, obnoxious, and downright rude at times. But I will not apologize for it. Take it or leave it, matters not to me.


I can relate to that and I aggree that your cute too.. Not sure when the cuteness ends and the down right sexyness starts though.

I never intend to sound abusive or obnoxious however apparently I do at times when I guess I state things as I see them or how I will react which is probably right ourside most peaples way of dealing with things. I know it pisses some people off but with me, eithet I say what I believe or I walk away and say nothing...... Perhaps it's because I'm not here to make friends or seek approval. However unless someone offends me as one did on the Gor forum the other day I will be reasonably tollerent with nearly all things I read here. I do however take full responsibility for ever post I make and accept the consequences.....

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:42:29 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I can relate to that and I aggree that your cute too.. Not sure when the cuteness ends and the down right sexyness starts though.

I never intend to sound abusive or obnoxious however apparently I do at times when I guess I state things as I see them or how I will react which is probably right ourside most peaples way of dealing with things. I know it pisses some people off but with me, eithet I say what I believe or I walk away and say nothing...... Perhaps it's because I'm not here to make friends or seek approval. However unless someone offends me as one did on the Gor forum the other day I will be reasonably tollerent with nearly all things I read here. I do however take full responsibility for ever post I make and accept the consequences.....


Ok, I will admit that sometimes after I have read something, I INTENTIONALLY go out of my way to be obnoxious. Not nice, I know. I tend to act first and think after. Bad control issue with me But, I always do take responsibility and accept the consequences for what I write (say). Sometimes I apologize to the person, sometimes I don't.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:42:36 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
I never intend to sound abusive or obnoxious however apparently I do at times when I guess I state things as I see them or how I will react which is probably right ourside most peaples way of dealing with things. I know it pisses some people off but with me, eithet I say what I believe or I walk away and say nothing...... Perhaps it's because I'm not here to make friends or seek approval. However unless someone offends me as one did on the Gor forum the other day I will be reasonably tollerent with nearly all things I read here. I do however take full responsibility for ever post I make and accept the consequences.....


Thats what the overly PC brigade seem to forget. Not everyone is here to hold hands and sing Kumbyah, some of us are just ourselves and here because the topics interest us. I have made friends, but that isn't WHY I came here and I'm not going to put on a mask just to fit in. Wether it is one person or many standing against me I stand by my opinion.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:43:36 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66
....anyway I think your posts are wise and obvisously you have been around a while and seen pretty much everything.


Thank you.

I have been around for a while... as my knees inform me every time I kneel down to fasten the leg cuffs, but I'm still seeing new things. That's the wonderful thing about the scene; it's so huge that no one can know it all.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 7:45:01 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I, for one, will take what you say as good advice.

I am one who is guilty of judging others by my first impression of them. If they can't spell (after all, there IS spell check) and don't make any attempt to write in a reasonable manner, I tend to think less of them and therefore judge their statements to be somewhat less important than otherwise.

On occasion I have brought this to the attention of the writer but not to flame them. My comments were made to try and make them see what their poor first impression does and an easy way to fic it. It was NOT intended as derogitory but simply a suggestion that would help them relate better to others. I may, from time to time, still do this, but I'll keep you advice in mind and try very hard not to hurt someone's feelings.

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 8:10:54 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		sometimes it doesn't matter how nicely things are said, how considerate or gracious or giving benefit of the doubt you try to be, someone will twist it into something else to serve their own purposes...

Example #1: this slave had the opportunity to attend a munch and subsequent nude jacuzzi party where her "thoughts" were assumed by the munch-runner, her "looks", or lack thereof, were interpreted(wrongly)and then the whole scenario was discussed at a private play party a week later behind this slave's back, whereupon it has been reported that 3 other party-goers agreed with the "ass"-umer as to what this slave's thoughts, feelings or intentions were. how did this slave find out about the misinterpretation of "looks" and the assumptions and the subsequent gossip that reinforced the "ass"-umer? did this self-proclaimed respected member of "our community" bother to ask if her negative "ass"-umptions were correct? nope, as another topic was being discussed she brought it up mid-thread here on these very message boards as an answer to why she didn't talk to us in person. some folks are just way too into DRAMA--just like some folks read more or something different into a post than is there and instead of clarifying, they think they are the ultimate intuitive and dramatically proclaim it far and wide. feelings hurt by it? nah--it's just "high-school harry" lame enough to be humorous and it serves as an example of how some folks like to treat others as some sort of red-headed step child...even if they aren't.

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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 11:30:55 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

This isnt one Y/you cant send Me to another thread for the answer...lol
I bet you will find one anyway....lmao


If you do a search for rude, courteous, spelling, grammar and all the words related to them you will find numerous threads on this topic. Please don't think me rude for pointing this out, but it's a very common complaint here.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: Questions? - 2/22/2006 12:03:04 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I try to be nice when I post... but sometimes it just doesnt happen. I know that when someone asks a question or states that they are new I really do try to be helpful and nice. If someone thinks that I am not being such... I would welcome them to email me and let me know. This is something that my Dragon is trying to teach me - Tact.

1st Girl Phoenix



_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

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